I predicted that Madison Cawthorn would succeed Louie Gohmert as Dumbest Man In Congress but right now I’d say it’s a dead heat. Gohmert was on OAN and he is clued in, doncha know, to the finer points of what’s wrong with green energy. I think it is safe to say that you will not hear anybody else talk about this particular drawback to solar panels and thermal energy.

I think I’ve seen what Gohmert is talking about. When I crossed the state line between California and Nevada last — pro tip, Louie, there is no “border” both states are part of the Union which you swore to uphold — I did see some lit up glass towers floating on a lake. Hard to describe it any better but that’s what it looked like. A real sci fi kind of a vision. So that’s a “solar farm” I guess.

As to all the birds being destroyed, well, maybe that’s why Hitchcock filmed The Birds back east. Or, maybe Brian de Palma, who is a real Hitchcock aficionado could do a remake here in Nevada.

Now here’s a secret tip for you all: The sci fi movies that you saw about radiation messing with things in the desert and making them gargantuan back in the 50’s were really documentaries. Yes, that’s true. I got that information from a thousand year old Indian who is running a fruit juice stand out by Area 51. The Tarantula, the 50 Foot Woman, all of it.

And there are still pterodactyls out in the desert of Nev-aaaah-duh, as Louie mispronounces it. Oh, yes, giant ones. There are pterodactyl alerts here in the valley. If you see a giant shadow heading your way and your cell phone starts playing Tony Bennet, that’s when you grab your umbrella and stat. Because when those babies take a dump, you don’t want to be standing underneath and unprotected. No, Sir.

This is why top secret government funding is now going into desert areas because it is feared that if the solar farms cause the little birds to explode they will eventually do the same for the  pterodactyls, and oh Louie, you haven’t seen from bird guts. Man, you’re worried about a few windows? Think of the small towns in the southwest, many of them in Texas, which are going to be doused, bird gut drenched as it were. People will be drowning in bird guts. Think of people trying to clean the bird guts off of the chicken feathers. Think of the Confederate flags that will be ruined.

Thank you Congressman Gohmert, for giving us a heads up to this looming environmental and humanitarian crisis. Let us know, please, if you believe that knocking the moon out of its orbit will help.


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    • ” I’m not a radiologist.”

      Congratulations, you are perfectly qualified to be the Republican expert commentator on all things radiological.

  1. Louie, honey, you need to provide proof for your assertions. Just saying it’s true, or that you heard it from someone who swears it’s true, isn’t good enough.

  2. I was going to cite a few facts here, but facts only matter to sane people…who already know that Gomert is so full of sh*t that it shoots out of his mouth like water from a high pressure fire hose!
    BTW solar panels do not produce radiation, just electricity. Wind generators do not produce any dangerous sonic vibrations or any radiation, again just electricity.

  3. Open letter to Louie here: Solar farms absorb light rays, they don’t emit them! That would be counter productive to capturing and storing energy! What a dumbass!

  4. Gohmert – veeeeeery “concerned” about 4800 acres in solar PV development. Not so concerned about 480,000 acres concreted over in city of Houston or other Texas metro areas.

    But let’s back up to something the Fox host mocks – flowers on the side of the road.

    I’m not sure what she’s referring to specifically, but this reminds me of a Los Angeles program that Fox would surely castigate. LA sits on a gigantic porous aquifer that is ideal for storing massive amounts of groundwater. A challenge is getting rain to drain into the aquifer rather than flowing out to sea.

    The solutions have to be many – we have to deploy many methods, all of which add up. One is to create green spaces between traffic directions on larger roads that are designed to collect water – it rains, water flows there, is stopped, and sinks down into the ground.

    The right is a paragon of American unexceptionalism right now. They can’t fathom how we could ever use our wits to innovate solutions. All they can do is mock them…they are truly the troll party.

  5. It’s amazing how all these anti-green energy folks SUDDENLY get concerned for animal welfare if they “think” (using that term VERY loosely) the well-being of animals can score them some points.

    Of course, when animals’ habitats are threatened by silly things like cutting trees to appease the timber lobby or building dams/diverting rivers for (ironically) energy purposes or (not the least ironically) flood control or simply needing the land to build new roads or housing developments, then the anti-green folks are all “Animals? We’re stopping (fill in appropriate project) because of some stupid animal?!?!?!?”

  6. The first time I saw this article I couldn’t help but laugh out loud and think “how much more stupid” can they get, but they just keep getting ever more stupid every day!


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