I just figured Mike Lindell out. Stay with me now, this is good. Mike Lindell isn’t real, he’s a Twilight Zone episode. Imagine a world where a despotic character in an elective democracy loses an election fair and square but one man cannot accept that reality and so he keeps fabricating ways to overturn the election.

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Rod Serling: Enter one Mike Lindell. He’s a rather interesting character, having been a carpet cleaner, professional card dealer, pig farmer, bartender, and crack cocaine addict. He made a lot of money selling pillows and should have lived a life of ease in his sunset years. But he saw the brass ring of politics gleaming bright, and especially in the hands of one Donald J. Trump. Trump slipped that brass ring right through Lindell’s nose without him even knowing it. Lindell thinks he has no limitations, since he went from being a derelict to being a CEO. Pride goeth before a fall, and obsession is worse than drugs, a lesson Lindell is about to learn the hard way, here in the Twilight Zone.

And I can stop writing the episode, because you’ve seen it.

Here he is today and now the 17th of January is the new date.

It never changes. Will it ever change? Will this Twilight Zone episode ever end?

And Ursula Faw is 103 and she’s still blogging about it. Wait! I just figured it out!! Oh my God!! This isn’t about Mike Lindell, it’s about me!! I’m in Hell!! And I have to blog for eternity about Lindell’s continually moving the goalposts and trying to overturn the 2020 election!!!!!

What’s that laughter I hear? Oh NO!! It’s Richard Nixon, Joe McCarthy, Kevin McCarthy, and Steve Bannon and they’re coming to take me to Marjorie Taylor Greene’s birthday party!! Satan spared no expense I’m told! Lauren Boebert is jumping out of a cake! Kellyanne Conway wants my autograph!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (thud)

Fade to black.

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8 COMMENTS

    • Cashews! I was eating cashews! What was that line from A Christmas Carol? Scrooge fretted that he must have eaten “a blot of mustard or an underdone potato” and that’s why he had the nightmare? I was eating cashews.

    • That is exactly right. “Imagine a world where the GOP actually puts a TV game show host at the top of its ticket and an evangelical wingnut who is washed up in politics as his second in command. You have entered the Twilight Zone.”

  1. Well that’s it. You can’t argue with something like that. Lindell’s got the packets, and they can’t be changed. In fact they are exactly the same packets he had months ago and they haven’t been changed one iota. If you remember, the computer people, the election experts, everybody — totally awestruck by these packets. The only thing they forgot to do last time was bring it as a quo warranto (or “quo warranteau” as he puts it, with the accent on the last syllable) before the Supreme Court. Because by what warrant do those five states give the election to Biden? They don’t need no stinkin evidence, they got the packets. SCOTUS will go 9-0. Guy’s a genius, and so are his lawyers.

    • I simply marvel at the fact that he keeps doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Even Steve Bannon can’t take it anymore. He still has Lindell on for comic relief but the look on his face is completely bored.

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