Today the Furkids are celebrating Mother’s Day in most countries around the world with the exception of Britain (May 27) and the Arab nations (Monday in early July) so the Furkids will be celebrating a little earlier fur them.
Although there are a number of songs for or about mothers, the Furkids chose a poem instead. The poem entitled “First Child…Second Child” is by Ogden Nash and the Furkids love it because it’s funny. Did they ‘amend’ the wording this time? Well yes, but just a little bit. I’m sure you’ll work out which line it is!
For those unsure of the meaning of avoirdupois (which was new to me so I looked it up), it means bodyweight or, in the context of the poem, just body. It would’ve been a word in common use in Nash’s time but has since dropped out of fashion, probably when metric largely took over.
So, without further ado, relax and enjoy “First Child…Second Child”.
actually ‘avoirdupois’ is the old ‘Imperial’ system of weights which you lot over on the other side of the pond have stuck with, while the rest of the world switched to metric
It derives from OLD French (not modern) aveir du peis – having weight (of goods) (in Modern French, avoir du pois translates as ‘having peas’ – go figure)
You never really used all of the system (I recall having to learn it by rote in Primary school)
16 drachms(dr) = 1 ounce(oz)
16 ounces = 1 pound (lb)
14 pounds = 1 stone (st)
2 stone = 1 quarter (qtr)
4 quarters = 1 hundredweight (cwt)
20 hundredweight = 1 ton t
And if you think that’s bad, length and area are even more arcane LOL
Yes! Thank you so much for the full explanation! I’m old enough to remember imperial weights and measures but am very glad we went metric DownUnder. ???
{{{Michelle}}} What a lovely Mothers Day gift. Thanks to the Furkids, skritches to Ms. Loula, {{{HUGS}}} & Healing Energy to you.
Happy Mother’s Day! You get it double for your human children and your furkids!
Moar hugs with love ?????Barbara?????
and scritches for ?Charlie?Cloud?Freddie?Bobbie?Murf?Rennie?
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms here, no matter whether your kids are hoomin or furkids!
Thank you as always, Michelle. I liked the furkids’ choice of poem a lot – very appropriate today – and of course your illustrations were charming as per usual. 🙂
The Furkids are delighted you enjoyed their choice of poem – they do love Ogden Nash! And they wish you a very happy Mother’s Day!
?????Rosemary?????
Thank you so very much. I love it.!
The Furkids are delighted you enjoyed it and wish you a happy Mother’s Day!
?????Kim?????
TY MICHELLE ! Cant resist as Ogden Nash is my FAV poet.
HERES one
One L lama he’s a beast
Two LL llama he’s a priest
And I will bet a silk pajama
You have never seen a three LLL lllama.
AND FOR THE RECORD HERE IS FULL POEM.
Ogden Nash Follow
First Child … Second Child
FIRST
Be it a girl, or one of the boys,
It is scarlet all over its avoirdupois,
It is red, it is boiled; could the obstetrician
Have possibly been a lobstertrician?
His degrees and credentials were hunky-dory,
But how’s for an infantile inventory?
Here’s the prodigy, here’s the miracle!
Whether its head is oval or spherical,
You rejoice to find it has only one,
Having dreaded a two-headed daughter or son;
Here’s the phenomenon all complete,
It’s got two hands, it’s got two feet,
Only natural, but pleasing, because
For months you have dreamed of flippers or claws.
Furthermore, it is fully equipped:
Fingers and toes with nails are tipped;
It’s even got eyes, and a mouth clear cut;
When the mouth comes open the eyes go shut,
When the eyes go shut, the breath is loosed
And the presence of lungs can be deduced.
Let the rockets flash and the cannon thunder,
This child is a marvel, a matchless wonder.
A staggering child, a child astounding,
Dazzling, diaperless, dumbfounding,
Stupendous, miraculous, unsurpassed,
A child to stagger and flabbergast,
Bright as a button, sharp as a thorn,
And the only perfect one ever born.
SECOND
Arrived this evening at half-past nine.
Everybody is doing fine.
Is it a boy, or quite the reverse?
You can call in the morning and ask the nurse.
© by owner. provided at no charge for educational purposes
Nash is a joy and a delight! I was introduced to his poetry in early high school by an elderly English teacher with a wonderful sense of humour. Never forgotten it or Mrs Hilliyard in her pink, crocheted cardigans!
THIS WAS MY FAV .. could read it at five.
Two And One Are A Problem
TWO AND ONE ARE A PROBLEM
Dear Miss Dix, I am a young man of half-past thirty-seven.
My friends say I am not unattractive, though to be kind and true is what I have always striven.
I am open-minded about beverages so long as they are grape, brandy or malt,
And I am generous to practically any fault.
Well Miss Dix not to beat around the bush, there is a certain someone who thinks I am pretty nice,
And I turn to you for advice.
You see, it started when I was away on the road
And returned to find a pair of lovebirds had taken up their residence in my abode.
Well I am not crazy about lovebirds, but I must say they looked very sweet in their gilded cage,
And their friendship had reached an advanced stage,
And I had just forgiven her who of the feathered fiances was the donor of
When the children caught a lost lovebird in the yard that we couldn’t locate the owner of.
So then we had three, and it was no time for flippancy,
Because everybody knows that a lovebird without its own lovebird to love will pine away and die of the discrepancy,
So we bought a fourth lovebird for the third lovebird and they sat around very cozily beak to beak
And then the third lovebird that we had provided the fourth lovebird for to keep it from dying died at the end of the week,
So we were left with an odd lovebird and it was no time for flippancy,
Because a lovebird without its own lovebird to love will pine away and die of the discrepancy,
So we had to buy a fifth lovebird to console the fourth lovebird that we had bought to keep the third lovebird contented,
And now the fourth lovebird has lost its appetite, and Miss Dix, I am going demented.
I don’t want to break any hearts, but I got to know where I’m at;
Must I keep on buying lovebirds, Miss Dix, or do you think it would be all right to buy a cat?
(Ogden Nash)
Sorry but it was just so joyful to see him again.. it’s benn such a long time since we could laugh or smile even.. pray for and #standwithukraine #slavaukraini and for the millions dead of COVID and for the stupid MAGA GOP women if America!
Sorry for typos. “been” not benn and Women of AMERICA not if
and for thumbs down that was a mistake too .. trying to hit reply..
This is why I think the Furkids column is truly an important one. We need smiles and giggles and chuckles and laughter. Four horrible years robbed us of all these so we’re well short of our personal quotas. The Furkids endeavour to contribute to the cause of bringing us back up to minimum standard then average, then maximum, then exceed it!
?????LOrion?????
Thank you for the correct version of the poem – the Furkids do change words/lyrics to better suit themselves but it’s always a pleasure to see the original!