Many a true word has been spoken in jest and Andy Borowitz has totally nailed it with respect to the next Republican vice presidential candidate for the United States. This is tragic but true. Join with me and read: PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Now in the final stages of choosing a running mate, Donald J. Trump is screening potential picks for any troubling signs of self-esteem, a campaign staffer confirmed on Tuesday. 

“In terms of a total lack of self-worth, Mike Pence set the bar pretty high,” the staffer said. “If he had been willing to violate the Constitution he would’ve been a keeper.”

According to the staffer, Sen. J.D. Vance of Ohio made a fatal error in a recent grilling session when he accidentally used the word “I” in Trump’s presence. 

“That indicated that he might have an identity of his own apart from Trump,” the staffer said. “Sadly, I think J.D.’s toast.”

As the field narrows, Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida appears to be leading in the self-debasement sweepstakes. 

“Trump insulted Rubio relentlessly in 2016 by calling him ‘Little Marco,’ and yet the senator is still desperate to be chosen,” the staffer says. “If he has even a shred of dignity, he’s done an amazing of job hiding it.”

Think about this for a sober minute now, friends. Whomever takes this job knows that

  1. Trump is a convicted felon;
  2. Trump is an inveterate liar;
  3. Trump is an adjudicated rapist;
  4. Trump tried to overthrow the government of the United States;
  5. Trump fully intends to overthrow the government this time around.

But this man (or woman) is fully on board for that. Eager, even. Willing, in fact. Dying to have it happen. This is GOP politics in the year 2024.

Help keep the site running, consider supporting.

3 COMMENTS

  1. what ever happened to the old America that existed in the last 70 years. At that time despicable, anti-democracy candidates were taken out of the business of politics. can we get back there again or should we just research the lifestyle of Russian commoners so that we can know what we’ll be in for if we all decide to be lazy and not VOTE BLUE!+

  2. Think about this for a sober minute: tens of millions of Americans, beyond the MAGA base, are still willing to vote for Trump. And mainstream media can label Biden’s debate showing “disastrous,” but never seem to criticize Trump’s lies and nonsensical rambling. Red flashing-light warning indeed!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

The maximum upload file size: 128 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video, document, spreadsheet, interactive, text, archive, code, other. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here