Yep, very late. There is far too much fun to be had when looking for something for the Late Night column. If it’s weird and wacky or just plain out there, it’s always enjoyable. Tonight, we have the yahoos at the White House coming up with something that they really should have thought through. Or maybe someone thought it would be funny. This has potential for bad things. With acknowledgement to Raw Story:
In an attempt to tout its policies benefiting farmers, the White House registered a new website domain: “OnlyFarms.gov,” a reference to the user-generated pornography website OnlyFans, and a move that didn’t go over well with one Republican lawmaker. “Your tax dollars are paying for the [United States Department of Agriculture] to parody a porn site. They should delete the tweet and the URL,” wrote Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) Saturday in a social media post on X.
You can already see how this could go so, so wrong. And if nothing else, it could pissoff the farmers. A parody of porn. Farms aren’t porn. They’re people growing things for others. They have a living to make just like we do. Who wants to go near a website like that? (Don’t answer that.) And what are the chances of typos? Probably more than we’re thinking of.
The domain redirects users to a White House agriculture page highlighting billions of dollars in payments to farmers. The page does not note, however, that $12 billion of that aid was issued in response to a sharp decline in soybean exports caused by President Donald Trump’s tariff policies. In a separate social media post, Massie again lashed out at the White House, only this time making reference to what he characterized as the Trump administration’s failures to hold potential co-conspirators of Jeffrey Epstein accountable.
Massie does have a point. It’s another attempted distraction from Epstein. On the other hand, a porn website would likely have suited Epstein pretty well. We know that there are half a gazillion recordings somewhere out there. But farmers? Ewww. Ending up on OnlyFans by accident would be about enough to have heart failure. And anger. And a lot of WTF.
“Can you arrest Epstein’s co-conspirators instead of riffing on a porn site?” Massie wrote in another social media post on X. In its announcement, the White House also shared a graphic of a mocked-up logo for its “OnlyFarms” page, designed similarly to the logo for OnlyFans.
Massie was not the only conservative to criticize the White House over its open reference to a website known for pornography. “The Wii Sports war edits didn’t cut it, so they decided to reference a porn site instead,” reads a social media post from the account for conservative influencer Candace Owens’ show.
Wii Sports war edits? Ahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! That’s just *beautiful*! (And oh, so appropriate.) We would all love to see arrests of the Epstein co-conspirators. The problem is, apparently, the DoJ can’t find them. Or they are saying they can’t find them. We all know they went after the Clintons FNAR. But we haven’t seen anyone else get pulled in for questioning. That should make us wonder just how much they are hiding. We know only a small percentage of the files have been released. And in the meantime, the White House has a government website similar to a porn site. The picture at the top is the logo. And yes, it’s very close to OnlyFans. I looked at the logo, not the site, because no. Good grief.
See you tomorrow!
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