Look, let’s just cut to the chase, shall we? We can play PC games all day long. I type something like Trump is going down, and hard, and y’all head down to the comments and say, Your lips to God’s ear, Murf. When we all know that Traitor Tot is going down. Twice.

Trump is going down in Georgia in Fulton County. Fani Willis is a freakin’ District Attorney for God’s sake. A county DA doesn’t take a shot at the King unless it’s a headshot. The last one who pulled something like that was a Texas DA named Garrison who empaneled a grand jury to let random conspiracies fly after JFK’s assassination, and he went down in flames for it.

First, Georgia remembered that one too, and they took steps to avoid a rerun. Rather than let Willis empanel a normal grand jury, under the control of the county Chief Judge, they let her empanel a Special Grand Jury, overseen by the Chief judge for the state of Georgia. The special grand jury can’t vote to sign a true bill of indictment. They can only recommend that charges be filed. And if they do, then Willis will empanel a normal grand jury and present evidence to support indictments. Which will take us into next year.

Any prosecutor can open an investigation into possible criminal activity, but I’ve never heard of a prosecutor who empaneled a grand jury without already being sure in their mind that they had the facts, evidence, and testimony to obtain indictments. Just ask Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg, allowing a grand jury to expire without issuing indictments only makes you look like a schmuck. And Willis had to be doubly confident in order to jump through all of these extra hoops.

Here’s the Georgia part that just tickles me pink. After being shot down by the SCOTUS in his attempt to duck out of appearing before the Fulton County grand jury, if I’m Leningrad Lindsey Graham, and thank all the Gods and angels I’m not, I’m not even getting out of bed in the morning. After the SCOTUS compelled his testimony, his staff released a statement saying that His lawyers were interacting with the District Attorney’s office. Yeah. Good luck with that. You can also interact with a barnyard animal for all the good it will do you. Willis has Graham by the old-short-and-curlies. Sit down and answer the damn questions, Senator.

Second, is United States Attorney General Merrick Garland. Garland is not a political creature, he is a creature of the Department of Justice, and the US Judiciary. You don’t get to be the Chief Judge of the DC Circuit Court of Appeals, one step from the Supreme Court, where Garland should be sitting right now, if you have a history of fucking up. A personal friend of Garland’s recently told MSNBC that he hated getting in the car with Garland, because he drives 5mph under the speed limit in order to avoid breaking any traffic laws. This is a careful man, wit an eye on making any charges stick.

Since the early days following the J6 insurrection, Garland has held one mantra in every public appearance he has had to make, No. One. Is. Above. The. Law. And Merrick Garland honestly believes that. But Garland is no dumber that Fani Willis and the Georgia courts, if you’re going to aim at the King, it had better be a head shot.

Garland already has his head shot if he wants to pull the prosecutorial trigger. Ignore the classified documents for a moment, Trump’s simple possession of 11,000 official US documents at Mar-A-Lago is a criminal violation of the Presidential Records Act. And the testimony and Mar-A-Lago video showing employees moving boxes of documents from the basement cellar, which Trump swore was the only location they were being stored in, and taking them to his personal quarters and office are proof of criminal intent and deception, also known as Obstruction of Justice. The presence of the classified documents just makes for sexier charges with heavier penalties. My personal belief is that if it wasn’t for the midterm election next Tuesday, Trump would have already been indicted for the Mar-A-Lago papers.

But that’s just the start. Garland and the DOJ are closing in on His Lowness for multiple crimes connected to the J6 insurrection. Filing the Mar-A-Lago papers indictments get Trump into the system, they stop the Statute of Limitations. Which gives the DOJ all the time in the world to dot the I’s and cross the t’s on J6 charges. Trump is going to become distressingly familiar with the thing we love to call The Perp Walk.

But here’s the thing, and I’m proud of having thought of it. Once Trump is indicted on criminal charges, he is going to be in a totally unknown world. Up to this minute, every legal problem Trumpenstein has gotten into was a civil violation. Trump’s personal freedom was never at risk, and more so, other than requisite appearances, Trump was not required to participate. Just look at Alex Jones and his civil cases as a defendant from the Sandy Hook families. Jones showed up to testify, and then just took off again. He wasn’t there for any other testimony, he wasn’t there for closing arguments, and he wasn’t there when the verdicts were read. He sat in his cave, licked his nuts, and consoled himself with the fact that he was a victim.

But if The Cheeto Prophet is indicted, and I have no doubt he will be, his life has just irreversibly changed. For the first time in his life, Trump will not be a civil defendant. For the first time in his sleazy, misbegotten life, Trump will be something he should have been long ago, a criminal defendant. And that’s a whole nother kettle of fish.

Because when you’re a criminal defendant, when there is a court appearance scheduled, Your. Fat. Ass. Shows. Up. In. Court. And you sit in your chair at the defense table. And unless the judge refers to you directly, you Keep. Your. Fat. New. York. Mouth. Shut. You’re not a participant, you’re an observer. Unless you take the stand, you lawyers do the talking, not you.

And when the case goes to trial, it’s more of the same every goddamned day. You sit at the defense table, you keep your fat mouth shit, and you listen as the evidence rolls over you like surf on a shoreline rock. And if you misbehave, the judge doesn’t send you home. Instead he remands you to a cell in the lockup where you will sit and listen to the rest of the days testimony courtesy of a closed circuit feed to a speaker in the upper corner of the cell. Guess what Dorothy? You aren’t in Kansas anymore.

To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure that The Orange Julius’s fragile ego can survive this assault. He is going to sit there, as silent as an Inca stone idol, day after day, while the evidence is going to cascade down all around him. And he can’t say a goddamn thing. He just has to sit there behind that table and take it. How much can Trump’s fragile, delusional world and ego stand without erupting?

I’m honestly not sure, especially after reading Mary Trump’s incredible book Too Much But Never Enough that Trump’s fragile ego and jerry rigged reality can stand the assault. But we’re about to find out. Of that I have no doubt. Trump went too far for too long. Don’t touch that dial.

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    • Probably because at least one lawyer pointed out he’d lose everything bearing the “Trump” brand (and all the associated moneys that come with that) in the US. While he’s under ANY investigation in the US, fleeing the country pretty much is seen as proof of guilt and all his US assets can be immediately frozen, if not seized outright.

      He’d still have access to whatever offshore accounts he might have (and probably whatever overseas properties) as long as the State Department and the Treasury Department didn’t contact the countries in which those accounts exist upon learning of his flight.

    • Because he knows he can beat this. He always has. He is wrong. He will be indicted. We can only hope that there is be a,ringer on the jury who.lied about his non-partisanship and will refuse to vote to.convict. I can see that happening: a die-hard Trump is who sees this as his duty to.keep.Fat Donnie out of jail.

  1. Oh he can still go to Dubai. The Saudis have enough money to cover his losses. Or, maybe putin will let him live on his yacht so the propaganda train can keep rolling. U may be right in that he’s that monkey that won’t let go of the banana so he can pull his hand out of the hole. Isn’t he working on repairing his plane? Hmmm.

  2. I want to see him in a courtroom, trying to keep his fat pie hole shut, and watch him explode into an orange mushroom cloud of frustration that pours gunk all over any magats there in his support. And they all get a skin rash that never heals.

  3. The committee just moved his deadline to next week. The 14th is also the day he’s hinted he will announce his candidacy. You know…double secret probation didn’t work at Farber, yet here we are again. I guess if an average citizen ignored the deadline, the law would say…no problem. We’ll just move the date. Sure. Equal justice under the law? You decide. I already know the score. Where’s all the apologists???


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