Great news folks, the jornos at Associated Press have crawled through the muck of wingnut MAGA message boards at Reddit, GETTR and Telegram like Andy Dufresne busting out of Shawshank, to find out what the drumpf dead-enders are saying about the J6 Committee testimonies of once stalwart drumph defenders like Princess Ivanka and Bill Barr and what they were REALLY up to (wink wink) when they dropped all those dimes on arsehole… sos you don’t have to!

And the shit-posting they found in those sewers make Andy’s befouled dungarees look like they smell of lilac and frankincense.

“It’s cognitive dissonance,” said Jennifer Stromer-Galley, a Syracuse University professor who has studied how Trump used social media and advertising to mobilize his base. “If you believe what Trump says, and now Bill Barr and Trump’s own daughter are saying these other things, it creates a crack, and people have to fill it.”

I hear ya, lady, in fact I have found myself on occasion having to spackle over my own cracked psyche in the wake of disappointments of love, familial relations or career. But, Jesus Christ on a Knucklehead, you would need a D-9 working three shifts for a month to backfill some of the sinkholes the AP found on those boards.

Regarding Bill Barr’s transformation from Barrel-Chested defender of all that was MAGA to sniveling ratfink, some, while utterly deluded and obviously batshit, at least took accurate measure of the man and accused him of selling out to Dominion Voting systems…

“One post that spread widely this week suggested Barr was paid by Dominion Voting Systems, a company targeted by Trump and his supporters with baseless claims of vote rigging. “From 2009 to 2018, DOMINION PAID BARR $1.2 million in cash and granted him another $1.1 million in stock awards, according to SEC filings. (No wonder Barr can’t find any voter fraud!),” the post read…
… Wrong Dominion. Barr was paid by Dominion Energy, a publicly traded company headquartered in Richmond, Virginia, that provides power and heat to customers in several mid-Atlantic states.”

While that explanation of Barr’s perfidy at least has the virtue of sounding just like something that motherless shitbag would do, the real Triple Salchows of logic were loosed when it came to their beloved Heidi of Halston, dearest Ivanka:

“Jordan Sather, a leading proponent of the QAnon theory, claims both Barr and Ivanka Trump lied during their testimony on Trump’s orders, part of an elaborate scheme to defeat Trump’s enemies by confusing Congress and the American public.

“I can just imagine Donald Trump telling Ivanka: ’Hey, go to this hearing, say these things. Screw with their heads,’” Sather said last week on his online show.“

Yeah, right.

Saddest of all perhaps is the one jilted Ivanka lover who insists that what we were mercilessly subjected to during her video testimony was CGI (Computer Generated Ivanka, I guess).

“She looks different in a big way,” one poster asked on Telegram. “CGI?”

Of course she looks different, dipshit. Sleepless nights wondering if moi can get a decent Avocado Toast in the big house will wear on a fairy maiden.

Those poor tortured MAGA souls! Telegraming in tongues so they don’t have to hear the pitter patter of tiny rat feet fleeing down the precarious water-sprayed and upheaving gangplank of the capsizing USSDrumpf.

It would be funny…

…if it weren’t so hilarious.

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  1. Well of course Wannabe Princess Ivanka looks different. She’s had time to throw all her tantrums and grieve and now has reached the point of have a forever case of the Sads. Daddy wasn’t able to convince the Queen to name her a real Princess with titles and stuff. Then daddy wasn’t able to pull off his coup and be President for Life at which point he’d simply declare us a Monarchy naming himself King. And name her Princess and first in line to the throne.

    So yes, the arrogance is gone. She’s just another spoiled rich kid turned grownup with no real talent. And now she’s going to have to devote her time not to playing rich socialite (good thing too because it seems as though folks down there in FL don’t want any more to do with her and her P.O.S. hubby than their former power couple friends up in NYC!) and instead staying out of jail. She is no doubt horrified at the prospect of having to wear cotton undies, and cotton/POLYESTER (horrors!) jumpsuit. In a shade of orange that is NOT on her color wheel!

  2. Thi is a long quote (from The Daughter of Time by Josephine Tey), but Ivanka’s face while she was giving testimony made me think of it – I couldn’t help doing so:
    He had once in his early days dropped in with his Superintendent at an identification parade. It was not his case, and they were both there on other business, but they lingered in the background and watched while a man and a woman, separately, walked down the line of twelve nondescript men, looking for the one they hoped to recognise.

    ‘Which is Chummy, do you know?’ the Super had whispered to him.

    ‘I don’t know,’ Grant had said, ‘but I can guess.’

    ‘You can? Which do you make it?’

    [Pg 25]‘The third from the left.’

    ‘What is the charge?’

    ‘I don’t know. Don’t know anything about it.’

    His chief had cast him an amused glance. But when both the man and the woman had failed to identify anyone and had gone away, and the line broke into a chattering group, hitching collars and settling ties preparatory to going back to the street and the world of everyday from which they had been summoned to assist the Law, the one who did not move was the third man from the left. The third man from the left waited submissively for his escort and was led away to his cell again.

    ‘Strewth!’ the Superintendent had said. ‘One chance out of twelve, and you made it. That was good going. He picked your man out of the bunch,’ he said in explanation to the local Inspector.

    ‘Did you know him?’ the Inspector said, a little surprised. ‘He’s never been in trouble before, as far as we know.’

    ‘No, I never saw him before. I don’t even know what the charge is.’

    ‘Then what made you pick him?’

    Grant had hesitated, analysing for the first time his process of selection. It had not been a matter of reasoning. He had not said: ‘That man’s face has this characteristic or that characteristic, therefore he is the accused person.’ His choice had been almost instinctive; the reason was in his subconscious. At last, having delved into his subconscious, he blurted: ‘He was the only one of the twelve with no lines on his face.’

    They had laughed at that. But Grant, once he had pulled the thing into the light, saw how his instinct had[Pg 26] worked and recognised the reasoning behind it. ‘It sounds silly, but it isn’t,’ he had said. ‘The only adult entirely without face lines is the idiot.’

    ‘Freeman’s no idiot, take it from me,’ the Inspector broke in. ‘A very wide-awake wide boy he is, believe me.’

    ‘I didn’t mean that. I mean that the idiot is irresponsible. The idiot is the standard of irresponsibility. All those twelve men in that parade were thirty-ish, but only one had an irresponsible face. So I picked him at once.’
    “All those twelve men in that parade were thirty-ish”
    Ivanka is forty.


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