This is beyond the You Can’t Make This Stuff Up file, this is way more screwed than that. And again, if a novelist wrote this, you would throw it straight into the trash. I wouldn’t know Marla Maples if I ran into her on the sidewalk but she has got to be the world’s biggest bimbo, just based upon this interview that she gave, the first in eight years we are told. Donald is an innocent man, she says, and she wants to help him win the election. After reading this interview, if there is a competition for Dumbest Broad On The Planet, I’m nominating Marla Maples.

During a photoshoot, wearing the Ibiza-boho uniform of a vest, swinging yogi necklace and kick-flare jeans which suit her life as a “spirituality and wellness advocate” running the blog, she proves herself a pro: game to straddle a sofa to catch the light and launch into leg-flaunting poses. “Make me look good — I am still looking for Mr Right!” she says.

Trump was not The One. Maples met the then businessman as a homecoming queen from Georgia’s Bible Belt, when she moved to New York in 1985 to work as a model and actor. By the end of the decade, their highly publicised affair would end Trump’s first marriage to the late Ivana in 1990 and see the tabloids blow up Maples’s life. […]

Sources close to her have suggested she is ambitious enough to take on the vice-presidency. Is this true? “Someone would have to ask my ex-husband about that,” she laughs, but quickly adds: “I’m open. I’m open to whatever way that I can serve. Right now everyone [in the Trump family] is just seeing how we can help.”

Her support may come as a surprise to some; you could easily forgive Maples for hating her ex-husband. Having met Trump aged 21, Maples’s name quickly travelled as whispers through New York. By 1990, the New York Post had run the infamous front page which read “Marla boasts to her pals about Donald: ‘BEST SEX I’VE EVER HAD’” (a remark he has supposedly dined out on ever since), while Ivana publicly and viciously blamed Maples for the end of her marriage. […]

“Anything from the past I’ve forgiven,” says Maples. “That is a conversation that Donald and I have had: forgiving each other. Marriages are challenging, especially when you play them out in the media.” […]

Recent lawsuits against Trump have not swayed her faith either. Last year, a jury found him liable for sexual abuse of the writer E Jean Carroll and awarded her $5 million following an incident in 1996 — when he was married to Maples. She doesn’t believe the claim. “I do know my daughter’s father well enough to know that he’s never had to push himself on another person. He’s always had women throw themselves on him instead,” she says. “I don’t believe there was a crime done.”

As for the New York jury that found him guilty of 34 charges in a scheme to illegally influence the 2016 election through hush money paid to porn star Stormy Daniels, she can only chuckle. “They love these little sexy stories. We have a country that is failing. Our cities are not protected. How do we make people feel safe again? That’s more important than having these lawsuits that are not affecting any of us today.” […]

Maples is more than happy to detail her concerns about the US and the world at large. She believes “the media” is hiding rising crime rates in US cities — in New York, specifically, by “gangs that had come up off the southern border” — and declares: “It’s time to wake up to a higher truth, and to not believe everything that is shown to us in the news.” Where does she go for her news? “Oh my god,” she smiles. “Conversations.”

Conversations with whom? I don’t know and from what I’ve read in this piece, I really don’t care, do U? JFC. This woman is a moron. Her own “conversation” is a mixture of psychobabble and conspiracy theory. She doesn’t believe in the coronavirus vaccine but believes in surrounding oneself with “joyful people” as a means of not getting the virus.

This woman is 60 years old. If she hasn’t learned any more about life and the world in that time than she displays here, she is a flat out moron. And if she thinks that Donald Trump is worthy of being elected to office again she is a dangerous fool. I think this is one interview that would have been better off not being given.

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  1. “Best sex I’ve ever had.” Right Marla, that wasn’t hard to say in return for the “honorarium” you must have received. I’m sure you’ve been dining out on being Trump’s “ex”
    ever since, since you never left Trump world.

    They were married from 1993 to 1999, and Tiffany is their daughter. In 2013, Maples was quoted as saying, “I still love Donald. I love Eric, Ivanka and Donnie so much.” In April 2016, “Her Daddy loves her, of course, but … I was the parent. I was the parent that was there in the flesh [and] with her all the time.” In April 2023 Marla and Tiffany even celebrated Easter at Mar-a-Lago with the Trumps. So of course when he needed another fantasy statement to try to make himself look better, he knew who to call on.

  2. I was not aware she was in the dressing room with Von Shitzinpants and Ms. Carroll. Oh, maybe she was there through some jedi mind trick. No, wait, that can’t be it. hmmmmm. I think perhaps she is using the logic she used to take a philanderer away from his wife and think he was going to keep her as wife forever. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

    This is not an intelligent woman. It is amazing Tiffany has the native wit she does. She sure as hell did not inherit her I.Q. from her parents.

    • My thoughts as well, maybe it’s time to remind the Orange Pimpled Herring that Tiffany IS his daughter and although he is hot for Ivanka, Tiffany still should hold an equal place in the Turd’s will …

      Trump, being in a high- grade panic, everything falling apart, the Trump Name fading to flat black instead of fake gold and polished brass, worthless properties, let go because the cheap owner was too tight to pay for maintenance and never paying for normal work-a-bees, pocketing ALL income from a large gaming center that was on the list to make 15% like other normal pay-for-fun houses … Heck, Trump has been so stupid about things at the top of a REAL president’s list of things to know and use with intelligence, Tariffs, anyone?

      It’s a damn shame no responsible people in the Trump, family history was able to grab Trump by his chin and tell him to pay attention while he was growing up … Now we are faced with possible Hitler-like violence and, as a proven cruel leader, Trump grabbed 4 month old babies from their mothers arms, then throwing hordes of kids into converted old Walmart stores into prisons, hurricane fences as cell separators … But of course, just like his PAL Kim in North Korea, Trump had huge photos of himself printed on twice-real-size posters near the front doors, showing the kids their new GOD …

      Trump, truly IS a danger to himself and the rest of us, [LOCK HIM UP!!]

  3. Andy Borowitz might be able to make this stuff up (and is probably kicking himself that he didn’t.)

    My advice to any woman looking for “Mr. Right” is to be damned careful he doesn’t think his forst name is “Always.”


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