Let us begin with a definition of the word “delusional.” It means: “characterized by or holding false beliefs or judgments about external reality that are held despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary, typically as a symptom of a mental condition.” Kristi Noem got it into her head some time back that she should and would be Donald Trump’s 2024 running mate. She then began to remake herself into the perfect MAGA VP candidate. She grew her hair out and made it wavy, did big botoxed lips, veneers on her teeth, heavy eye makeup, a whole glamour makeover. She looks like Lara Trump, Kimberly Guilfoyle, all of the Trump women.

But is she getting the payoff for that? Well, not if we believe what we read in the newspapers. Axios reported a few days ago that a short list of eight candidates were selected by Donald Trump to fill out paperwork vetting them for the position of VP. They were: Ben Carson, Tim Scott, Byron Donalds, Tom Cotton, J.D. Vance, Elise Stefanik, Marco Rubio, and Doug Bergum. No Kristi Noem. So what in the world is Noem doing on one of the Sunday shows talking about how Republican women want a woman on the ticket?

Noem is the only person in North America if not the entire world, who does not know that she tanked her chances to be considered VP when she talked about murdering her puppy 20 years ago. She insisted that it was a mark of her character, of being “authentic” that she was willing to make “difficult choices.” Every interview she went on after that revelation told her that was not how the story was being received. Noem was hated and reviled from both sides of the aisle.

Along with this, Noem has been banned from every square foot of tribal land in South Dakota because of her ridiculous comments about drug cartels operating on the reservations. She truly lives in a world of her own. She evidently believes that if she just shows up and campaigns as a VP Trump will pick her as a VP.

“Nobody turns to D.C. for the solutions. Nothing meaningful gets accomplished here. It is governors who have had to lead, and I have seen governors make bad decisions and devastate their states, and we have seen governors who did the right thing,” Noem said.

In a CPAC straw poll on Trump’s vice presidential pick, she tied with entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy for the top choice.

Noem rallied with Trump in Ohio in March, donning the signature red “Make America Great Again” hat with the former president, who sang her praises.

“We have a very special woman who’s hot as a politician. She’s doing an incredible job in South Dakota. She’s the governor, Kristi Noem,” Trump said about her.

When Noem took the stage, she said she went “on defense” when President Biden took office. “All I do now is fight to protect the freedom of my people,” she said.

Trump later added, “You know you’re not allowed to say she’s beautiful, so I’m not going to say that. I will not say it, because … if you make that statement, that’s the end of your political — so I will not say that.”

She backed a law to restrict abortion that does not include exceptions for rape and incest and only to save the life of the mother. She has said she personally does not support exceptions for rape or incest and that she doesn’t “believe a tragedy should perpetuate another tragedy.”

Nobody wants to vote for this. And even Donald Trump is not stupid enough to take on this baggage that Noem presents. He’s got enough baggage of his own. A convicted felon, adjudicated rapist, with a number two in command who murders dogs and has no empathy for rape or incest victims? That is one hell of a ticket. In fact, it is the Ticket From Hell, I defy anybody to come up with a worse one.

And she made headlines when she said she would deploy the National Guard from South Dakota to the Mexican border when the plain fact is South Dakota is almost on the Canadian border. The women is coocoo for coca puffs. But she doesn’t know it, evidently.

Noem believes that the right look and the right talking points will get her where she desperately needs to go. This is true Norma Desmond time. Noem is finished if Trump doesn’t put her on the ticket. She has no future in politics that anybody can game out. She’s in an even worse place than Mike Pence was in 2016, when Trump rescued him from the dustbin of irrelevance.

It’s still not too late for Trump to pick anybody he wants but that short list of eight that went out pretty much defined the group of finalists. Noem’s living in a dream world. She can go on TV and present her vision of what the political situation is, that women really want a woman on Trump’s ticket in the VP slot but if that’s true, Elise Stefanik is ahead of her in the pecking order.

And maybe that’s how it will go down. A lot of people have been saying for a long time that Stefanik will be Trump’s choice. I don’t think you’re going to find anybody who believes that Noem will, other than Noem. That was Norma Desmond’s tragedy. The only one who believed in her come back was her. Everybody else thought she was nuts and should face reality. As Joe Gillis said to Norma, “There’s nothing wrong with being 50, unless you’re trying to be 25.” Noem is 51 and her big break is supposed to be as Trump’s VP. I wonder how long the delusion will go on? Or who will get shot and be found floating face down in the pool, figuratively or literally?

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  1. She and Ms.Flake…er…lake should rent a big car and drive it off the north rim of the Grand Canyon…it’s quicker than the slow death they are facing. Plastic only holds out for so long until time transforms it into grotesque figures. Thelma and Louise live on as beautiful memories.

    • It amazes me how any of these women believe that “That Look” is good; if anything, it is completely grotesque. Do a before and after set of Kimberley and Kristi, and you’ll see what true ugliness is and how easy it seems for some hollow-souled women to project outer ugliness as well.

  2. She can say she’ll deploy the SD National Guard as much as she wants but LEGALLY she does NOT have that authority. Only the President can order a deployment for NATIONAL purposes and the border is most definitely a national purpose. Even if the unfunny Abbott in charge of Texas did nothing, Noem’s action would result in her being ordered to withdraw them (by the Pentagon, at the very least) and the state could risk every single Federal dollar it gets by Noem’s action.

  3. noem pretending/acting like she’s Von Shitzinpants v.p. makes some sense: she’s delusional and so is he so if he wants to be a matched set, she ought to get his tap.


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