I know you have $20 in your wallet, can I have $10 of it?   Political fundraising text or blast

Most of you know that Teri and I donate to Democratic candidates. Not as much as in 2020, but things change. Funny thing is, if you donate to one of them, everybody is your best friend.

I get fundraising texts from Democrats I didn’t even donate to, looking for a handout. Hell, I even get texts from people who aren’t even on the ballot! I’ve got John Ossoff cadging quarters for Raphael Warnock. I have Elizabeth Warren hat-in-hand for John Fetterman, and I got Kamala Harris offering free hugs for everybody. It’s like having a national convention on my cell phone.

But because no good deed goes unpunished, now I have to pay for my fun. I don’t know how, but a couple of weeks ago a dipshit volunteer for GOP Senate candidate Adam Laxalt text bank got my number. And now I get daily Kim Jong Un style of texts from this dim bulb, addressed to Peggy Murphy. I’ve tried texting STOP 4 times now, and even texted that there is no Peggy Murphy here, we voted straight Democratic a week ago, so bugger off! All that got me was my number on the state GOP text roster. No shit.

Which means that recently I’ve seen metric tons of text pleas for cash. And therein lies the subject of today’s article. Because there is a stark difference in the wording of the begging between the two, and I can’t help but feel that one of them is inherently self defeating.

The Democrats use a style I like to call optimistic desperation. There are slight variances, but they go something like this, Hi Joseph! Rev. Raphael Warnock here. We’re hanging in there, and our message is resonating. But Mitch McConnell just dumped $10 million in dark money into the race to overpower us. Can you possibly chip in a few bucks to help us offset their advantage? Thanks! See what I mean? Basically, We’re doing fine, but that could change if you don’t shoot us some shekels. My favorite one is If 1 out of every 10 people who reads this chips in $17, we can meet or donation goal for this quarter. I’ve been watching politics for 50 years now, and I know that the only fundraising goal is Every penny you can take in! You never put a finite dollar amount on it.

The GOP’s approach is the polar opposite, at least in every text I’ve received. How do I describe it? Let’s just say it’s like watching a trailer for the new Chucky movie. The one I got today went something like, EMERGENCY ALERT! Peggy, we just learned that the Democrats have pulled ahead of us in the polling, and they’re outspending us in advertising. If we don’t do something immediately, this race is going to slip away from us! Can you show your true colors and help us get back in the game? Whoa! When I read that one, my first thought was Get out of there! The calls are coming from inside the house!

Now look, I really want to be fair about this. Maybe I’m just ignorant here, I’m not a Republican, so I don’t speak the language. But it seems to me, when I read them side-by-side that when you get to the end of each one, they give two totally different immediate emotional mindsets.

When you read the Democratic text, it’s confident urgency. It’s like Dude, we are so close! We’re only 5 days out, and we’re like 10 yards from the finish line! Is there any way you can chip in one more time and get us over the finish line at full speed? And if you’re anything like me, your first thought is, Shit yeah, dude! Where’s my wallet? What difference does $20 more make when I’ve already got skin in the game? Bring it home baby! The Democratic messages make donors want to pull out that wallet one last time. It’s a communal ting.

On the other hand, the GOP’s bellicose squeals for lucre carry the kid of desperation Hitler used when he screamed about the Phantom Army coming in from the west to save the day! It’s like, Holy shit, dude! We’re going down the flusher here, and it’s all your fault! We had this campaign set up perfectly, but our lousy donors want to do it on the cheap, and now we’re going down in flames! We’re giving you one last chance to clean this mess up, or we’re never talking to you again! When I finished reading that spanking, my initial instinct was to hit the reply button and say, Hang on, sucker! I’ve been pumping you cash twice a month for the last 6 months now, and you’re blaming me? Why should I throw good money after bad. In fact, I want all that other money I gave you back! Bugger off! 

From where I’m sitting, this is a mental defect in the GOP brain. Maybe scaring the shit out of older, scared white people will turn them out to the polls, but fundraising requires a softer touch. And if you’re going to run on inflation and the economy, and it’s working, it should be only natural to connect that messaging success with the fact that your base voters Don’t have a lot of cash to spare! Especially with Traitor tot scooping up every spare nickel from the sheeple. Don’t threaten, dummies, grovel and beg. God, I am so ready for this to be all over with!

Help keep the site running, consider supporting.

6 COMMENTS

  1. Joe we’ve had our spats but we are on the same team & I have had the same experience. Although I’m semi-retired, & am not awash in cash, the nonstop messaging from the democrats has had me look at my debit card more than once although I’ve donated to half a dozen senate candidates, and voted early in NC. Wondering if you caught Ari Melber on msnbc & the story about the DOJ leak & Time magazine? Could be bullshit. These days who knows. Figure you junkies might know the score.

    • I get it my brother… My disability was a godsend, as was all the overtime I worked for 20 years to fluff it up…We donate what we can, and I push issues and candidates I feel strongly about…We shall see…

  2. I get the email blasts despite the fact I have NEVER donated a dime to any candidate, ever. I think my name got on the list after I joined Daily Kos (before I got fed up with one of the contributors and F-bombed him in a response to an article where he was criticizing one of the Kos higher-ups who had the audacity to badmouth St Bernie of Sanders somewhere).

    I read the email blasts and then put them in archive folders but I don’t donate. I get tired of one email saying things like “We just need your support to help put us over” and “We’re so close to meeting our fundraising goal for the quarter/month/week” and “Oh no, PROMINENT POLLSTER has downgraded our race and we’re in danger of losing” over and over and over again. And, for some reason, despite the fact I live in Montgomery, AL and I have NEVER been anywhere close to the state of Oregon in my entire life, it seems like the majority of the email blasts are from Oregon political candidates. (I did “unsubscribe” from ActBlue–of course, they wanted to know why I was discontinuing my “support” and I was honest: I didn’t sign up for their emails. The only thing I could figure was the Kos connection. Also, I really got tired of their constant “polling” that only went through with a contribution. You want the contribution, tell me upfront; don’t make it seem like you really want my opinion on subjects when all you really want is my money.)

    It’s not like I don’t have the ability to contribute but I’m fully aware that one contribution turns into a non-stop cycle of being asked for money for this candidate and that candidate during this election cycle and the next and the next and the next. If the candidates that I would theoretically contribute to don’t win, then I’ve wasted money for no reason; if the candidates do win, then they obviously didn’t need my money.

    • I often answer the ‘quiz’ and then when we get to the CASH page I just cancel out – I donate to a few places/people but credit cards way too easily rack up their balances while you are not looking !

  3. I get a couple of text messages a day from Beto here in Texas most are about local block walking or phone banking. There is usually a fundraising one in there, but I have never sent him any money. He has done a good job of hoovering up money to where he is actually out fundraising abbott. He doesn’t need my money.

    I used act blue to donate to state house, state senate and congress. My state house person showed up in an ad the other day, I hope my $50 made that happen. Although I live in safe R districts from state house to state senate to congress, I think it is important to support local people first. If the margin is closed in any of these races, then that means the margin will be closed at the top of the ticket at the state races. just my two cents.

    btw the most irritating beg for money comes from Arizona dems. they are constant.

  4. Ah Murph. I’m afraid you fell for the oldest trick in the book. Never. Click. Unsubscribe.
    They have to include that option by law and, yes, it unsubscribes you. From that list.
    It also confirms that there is a live person at this email addy or mobile number and that information puts you on 20 new lists.
    I prefer to block texts and report them as SPAM. If a number receives enough block requests, the carriers will black-hole it, saving others for a while. Though these clowns have a near infinite supply of digits, it does cause some inconvenience if they have to keep requesting unblocks.
    As for donations, I don’t donate to ANY political campaigns. The GOP because they suck and the Dems because they almost all use ActBlue. AB and I parted ways a couple of years ago when they used my on-file credit card to make an unauthorized $250 donation to Biden-Harris. Hell, I didn’t even vote for them, no way I would give them a dime.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

The maximum upload file size: 128 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video, document, spreadsheet, interactive, text, archive, code, other. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here