You all know the POTUS acronym. It’s unfortunately POS with an extra TU added — which are letters in Trump’s name. So indulge me as I spin this out even further. I’m suggesting changing one letter/word in this generic descriptor. Remove the P for President and replace it with a C for CONVICT and it’s still accurate. Trump won’t be only the first felon to serve as President, but being President means he’s the highest ranking CONVICTED felon in the country. In our entire history in fact. I’ll explore this more including an angle regarding that ridiculous bandage Trump sported after the Butler shooting when his ear got NICKED by a bit of shrapnel.
Let’s get the basic facts out of the way first. Trump actually WAS sentenced this morning for his conviction on THIRTY FOUR felony charges in the state of New York. Since they were state level charges he can’t go and test the Constitution on the issue of whether a President can self-pardon (virtually all credible legal scholars say no on the question of Presidential self-pardons) because as noted these are STATE charges. A President’s pardon power only applies to federal criminal cases. So even though judge Merchan gave an ‘unconditional discharge’ meaning no fines, probation or (dammit!) jail time. As I wrote this morning just before the sentencing hearing the most Trump would wind up with is the humiliation of being an OFFICIAL FELON.
Alas, cameras weren’t allowed in the courtroom during the proceeding nor was there a live feed. However an audio of things was released later. You can listen to it here:
As Chris Farley’s character said multiple times in Tommy Boy after a whack to the head ‘That’s gonna leave a mark.’ Trump of course will appeal as his his right. While pundits say there are a couple of actual credible issues that could be raised (as opposed to the typical fling sh*t all over and hope a little sticks) it’s unlikely Trump will prevail. Regardless, this for once is a situation where we want the appellate court to take it’s time. LOTS of time in fact. Years. Trump has sure as hell benefited from appellate judges (and Justices) taking their sweet-ass time to make rulings. It’s long past time for him to have the ‘delay, delay and delay some more” process work AGAINST him for a change.
So legally Trump is a convicted felon now and he can’t do a damned thing about that being on his record (along with being the only twice impeached President – another sore spot he can’t get over) unless he can eventually get all or part of the case overturned on appeal. I’ve explained that’s unlikely and won’t bore you with a bunch of details here. No, I want to move on to things like giant bandages that were likened to “ear diapers” or “maxi pads.” You might guess where I’m headed with this.
A simple, ordinary band-aid would have been sufficient to cover Trump little “owie.” Being Trump however I’m sure he insisted on seeing photos of him getting off his plane. The white bandage on his ear was small. More than enough but still small. Trump I’m sure took one look and said “No way. I want something visible. BIG TIME VISIBLE! How the hell can I convince people I almost had my ear shot off with THAT tiny little thing?” Next thing we know Trump was sporting a ‘bigly HUGE white bandage on his ear. THAT got noticed. The MAGAs were beside themselves over their Trumpty having suffered so ‘massive’ a wound as to require such a bandage. Just like he assumed they’d be. MAGAs, and not just everyday regular goobers but people with some money and influence started sporting the things too!
So many people at the Republican Convention were wearing big white bandages you had to wonder if everyone was issued one when they entered the hall! By then the memes, jokes and general mocking that yes, included terms like ‘ear diaper’, ‘maxi-pad’ and even ‘kotex’ were in full swing. It used to be easy to find them online. I looked earlier and damn if they’re no longer readily available to download. Hmmmm. This isn’t the only time recently when doing a search I’ve had trouble finding items that I can use. Well, that’s a different matter for a different time. The point is that during his convention Trump wanted to play up have been “Hit by a bullet” and suffered a significant injury. And the bright white ‘ear diaper/maxi pad’ (I also recall some ‘MyEarPillow’ memes) helped sell Trump’s bullshit.
You and I might have mocked it (I sure as hell did, just like I’m doing now and will keep doing) but damn if it didn’t work for him. Enough to help him barely win once the votes were counted. Lord knows how long Trump would have kept up wearing that ridiculous PROP on his head but even on TV he could see that there was an awful lot of mockery. It wasn’t long before he stopped. I seem to recall an interview where he slung some b.s. about with his ‘great genes’ being a ‘fast healer’ and Hannity or whoever the hell it was at that pile with a spoon. Trump got a nick on the ear. Since it was SHRAPNEL it was no worse than when I’ve nicked myself shaving. Such nicks can bleed profusely for a few minutes but it’s easily stopped. The next day, or within a couple of days you forget it ever happened.
Now, I briefly mentioned the word “kotex” earlier and did find a meme, a tweet where an actual box of Kotex (pads) was added in and a fully opened one was photoshopped to cover the right side of most of his ugly fat head! I thought that was rather over-the-top for a title picture so I created something else. What matters is that it was mocking about diapers, maxi-pads and kotexes that got Trump to stop wearing his prop. You know I’m right about that. But for Trump bad as the ear diaper jokes and memes were, it was the ‘feminine products” that REALLY got his goat. People mocking him for wearing that ‘female stuff’, items for the kinds of things that make someone like him nauseated was too much.
So Convict Of The United States, COTUS has a hidden meaning which can be played up with the suggestion that the “C” can double as “Cotex” and Trumpty will just lose it entirely. He can’t take being even mildly joked about much less openly mocked. Having a title like POTUS being widely redefined as COTUS will infuriate him. Suggesting the C could mean #1 “Cotex” user, if only for a while might be enough to have staff finally summon the “nice men in their little white coats.
I’ll settle for COTUS as in Convict Of The United States becoming commonly used. It’s accurate after all. I’ll bet their are prominent Democrats willing to use the term. Even if only “accidentally on purpose.” So what to you all think? Should we lead the charge to rebrand Trump COTUS?
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Add an I while you are at it because a lot of people are going to be f****d?