Did you ever get to the end of a long, laborious job and, not satisfied with the outcome, ask “why did you bother?”

The New York Times basically asks this question of Jared Kursher regarding his vapid and sophomoric memoir of his time in the Trash Can Fire’s Whitehouse, Breaking Real Bad… er… History.

Dwight Garner begins his review of the “500 page…slog” noting the incongruity of Kushner’s Secret Service nickname, “The Mechanic”, given that the only real qualification he brought to whatever his job was was cleaning up his father-in-law’s hamberder wrappers and hanging out on yachts with celebrities like Bono and Billy Joel.

But it is when he begins discussing the book proper, Garner hits his stride.

“Breaking History is an earnest and soulless — Kushner looks like a mannequin, and he writes like one — and peculiarly selective appraisal of Donald J. Trump’s term in office. Kushner almost entirely ignores the chaos, the alienation of allies, the breaking of laws and norms, the flirtations with dictators, the comprehensive loss of America’s moral leadership, and so on, ad infinitum, to speak about his boyish tinkering (the “mechanic”) with issues he was interested in.

This book is like a tour of a once majestic 18th-century wooden house, now burned to its foundations, that focuses solely on, and rejoices in, what’s left amid the ashes: the two singed bathtubs, the gravel driveway and the mailbox. Kushner’s fealty to Trump remains absolute. Reading this book reminded me of watching a cat lick a dog’s eye goo.“

Now, there’s a descriptor that will have me running to the bookstore.

Garner then continues his immolation, turning his white hot flamethrower on Kusher’s literary stylings:

“Every political cliché gets a fresh shampooing. “Even in a starkly divided country, there are always opportunities to build bridges,” Kushner writes. And, quoting the former White House deputy chief of staff Chris Liddell: “Every day here is sand through an hourglass, and we have to make it count.” So true, for these are the days of our lives.”

Maybe Jared has a future writing for the soaps.

He then recounts the formative experiences of Kushner’s young adulthood, defending his father who hired a hooker to sleep with his brother-in-law then sending a video of the encounter to his sister, converting Ivanka to Judaism, and buying and ruining a perfectly good newspaper – The New York Observer.

Mechanic indeed.

Garner describes the internecine battles Kushner engaged with Steve Bannon, Rex Tillerson, John Kelly et al, besting and outlasting all of them, to remain one of the Orangeutan’s most trusted advisors, while wryly noting Jared’s almost complete lack of knowledge of the events of January 6th, 2021.

He glosses over, as is appropriate, the one achievement Kushner will nauseatingly hang his hat on for the rest of our natural lives, The “Abraham Accords”, which purportedly brought peace to the Middle East… a proposition that the Israelis and Palestinians are busily putting the lie to.

Maybe “the Mechanic” could have better invested his time preventing dear dad-in-law from trying to burn our democracy down to its foundation.

In summation Garner writes:

“You finish “Breaking History” wondering: Who is this book for? There’s not enough red meat for the MAGA crowd, and Kushner has never appealed to them anyway. Political wonks will be interested — maybe, to a limited degree — but this material is more thoroughly and reliably covered elsewhere. He’s a pair of dimples without a demographic.

What a queasy-making book to have in your hands. Once someone has happily worked alongside one of the most flagrant and systematic and powerful liars in this country’s history, how can anyone be expected to believe a word they say?”

I suppose The Heritage Foundation and Hillsdale College will buy enough copies of Breaking History to put it briefly on some bestseller lists, but for the rest of us this tome is undoubtedly better suited as an expensive, and not particularly decorative, doorstop.

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8 COMMENTS

  1. Sounds very unenticing! Dino, in that last paragraph, did you mean to use the word “tome” instead of “tomb”?

  2. Breaking History? Look Jar-jar, history does not get broken. History goes on. Administrations? Yeah, they get broken. Countries get broken. We’re on the way to breaking the ecosystem that allowed humans to become the dominant species on this planet. History however will continue whether the dip-shit administration continues or even when the head dip-shit goes to prison. Should America become a taliban-esque nightmare, history still rolls on down the road. Countries change over time and so does history. We may or may not survive the planet-wide hell hole we are creating, but history will actually live beyond humanities’ petty little existence on this planet. It will go on in our books, buildings, etc., everything that will remain when we are no more. Oh, and by the way, there will be histories rolling on elsewhere in the universe (only fools think we’re the only….”intelligent” (and I use that term broadly) species in the universe). History will not be broken until the end of this universe and who knows if even then.

    If you ever needed proof that Jar-jar very much resembles that character from the star wars franchise, the title of his book can do the job as much as his flailing attempts to accomplish anything in his little life.

  3. Come on guys. When the undead spend their precious hours of darkness revealing the interior of their soulless haunted evil hearts, we should…huh…stick to daylight.

  4. I don’t know who came up with The Mechanic for s secret service moniker but they left the words “sleazy used car dealer” off the front end.

    Personally, I think “Near Beer” would have been a good fit. No substance (as in alcohol) and crappy taste. Long, long ago when I was young I tried that shit and more than once. It was awful, and as I said without any alcohol only a really bad imitation of the real thing. Such is the case of both the businessman and political operative aspects of Jared Kushner. A poor imitation of the real thing.

    • Oh, I’m sure that, in private (you know, conversations between individual members of the Service), they’d speak of the “sleazy used car dealer” and everyone knew who was meant. But when they were being “professional,” they had to go with “Mechanic.”

      And I’m sure the members of their Service detail who were denied the use of the Jarvanka home’s bathrooms had even more “codenames” for Jared and Ivanka.

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