The day before the now-infamous White House Correspondents’ Dinner incident, I began to wonder what kind of ruse the nefarious minds in the White House would devise to justify removing Dicktator Don from the scene before he fell asleep. There’s only so much drugs can do in a body ravaged by junk food and erratic sleep. Based on recent video evidence from Cabinet meetings and Oval Office events, he would eventually nod off in front of several hundred media personnel. Not a good look.
Would it be a fire alarm, a terrorist emergency or perhaps another staged assassination attempt? But just then, Loula demanded some attention as cats are wont to do, and the distraction chased away the idea.
Imagine my lack of surprise the next day!
Yes, my instant response was: another staged assassination plot. Thank goodness no innocent was killed this time. Six shots were fired, but only one person was hit, and he was saved by his protective gear. The intruder was also unharmed; subdued, disarmed and arrested but intact.
That allowed latitude for humour to colour our observations. There was the man – later identified as Michael Glantz, a senior talent agent at Creative Artists Agency – who declined to abandon his gourmet appetiser, while all around the legs of his chair, bodies were prostrated on the carpeted floor.
Dana White also remained in his chair, not to eat so much as to enjoy the spectacle. In an on-site interview with USA Today (timestamp 5:31), White enthused,
“All of a sudden, it just started getting noisy. Tables started getting flipped over, guys running with guns, and they were screaming, ‘Get down!’ ” he recalled.
“I didn’t get down. It was f—ing awesome, and I literally took every minute of it in,” White continued while smiling. “It was a pretty crazy, unique experience.”
As Stephen Miller cowered behind the shield of his very pregnant wife while steering her toward the nearest exit, Bob-the-knob Kennedy left his bewildered wife behind when he was whisked away by the Secret Service.
Such precious memories for the couples to look back on when they next celebrate their anniversaries.
But the most amusing moments of the night’s entertainment were VP Shady Vance being evacuated a good 5 minutes or more before Dicktator Don, and then the coup de gras: DickDon being unceremoniously dropped on the floor by the agents attempting to haul his super-sized arse out of there.
With no comedians on the night’s roster, I wasn’t expecting such humour to emerge from this year’s WHCD!
But there were curious happenings too. Consider the following.
Obvious conclusion 4 is that Kash Patel is desperate to charge the suspect with attempted assassination, regardless of the evidence. At least the suspect had a manifesto – though it’s curious that Kash Patel’s name is not mentioned in it. An oversight, perhaps.
However, if we’re looking to argue a staged assassination attempt, the evidence so far is problematic. In his Countdown podcast of April 30, Keith Olbermann cites the methodical analysis of the security video and indictment by journalist Garrett Graff, formerly of Politico, in his April 28 newsletter Doomsday Scenario: ‘Is the Justice Department lying about Saturday’s “shooting”?’ Olbermann accurately sums up Graff’s conclusion as “the alleged perp never fired a shot” (9:27).
Olbermann continues at 10:04,
Then, The Washington Post repeated the analysis that Garrett Graff started, with better video, and it’s transparently obvious the worst they have this guy on is menacing a Secret Service agent with a weapon.
… All of the shooting was done by agents, one of whom fired four shots, one of which hit one of the other agents, and the others nearly hit one of the other agents, but never got near the suspect.As Dave Troy, publisher of America 2.0, summarises our long national nightmare,
1. Cole Allen never reached the ballroom
2. He never fired a shot
3. He was not shot
4. He was going to use buckshot if he had reached the ballroom, but he didn’t
5. The shots fired were by Secret Service; one officer took friendly fire but it was stopped by tactical gear
6. Allen was apparently subdued, tackled
7. Officers recovered a handgun, a long gun, and knives from Allen
8. The security perimeter was inside the hotel and functioned as designed.
Olbermann concludes with, “It became apparent that the real threat to Donald Trump last Saturday night was when Secret Service dropped him.” (13:09-18)
There’s another interesting point. In any situation in which the life of the President is threatened, Secret Service agents are trained to shoot to kill. But they didn’t shoot to kill – unless they’re all very poor shots, and that’s so unlikely that it verges on impossibility. So obvious conclusion Nº5 is that they did not aim to kill; they aimed to scare the suspect into submission, and it worked.
It also puts a negative check mark against the theory of a staged incident. If Allen had been set up to be a patsy to take the fall for an assassination attempt, it would’ve been imperative to take him out so he could never reveal the plot or those behind it. That he’s alive indicates that he was not a part of any setup.
It also became apparent to me that the timing was all wrong for a staged incident. The appetisers had only just arrived on the tables, and you can be certain that Trump would’ve wanted the main course and dessert before any staged incident took place.
So what if we were wrong to think this was a staged incident, because the planned intervention was scheduled for later in the evening?
It would explain all the indicators of a contrived incursion. There was DickDon’s behaviour when agents rushed into the room and shouted the order, “Get down!” He didn’t move. He sat in his chair, looking about him with a vague smirk on his face as if he was quite safe because nothing was supposed to happen until after dessert.
In the presser back in the White House after the incident, DickDon delivered a pre-prepared endorsement of the ballroom as a security necessity. Instantly, dozens of maga influencers echoed the message in a ballroom blitz across social media. Curiously, the wording of their posts was either the same or very similar. That whole operation looked, felt and smelled not just pre-planned but overcooked.
There was quite a crowd at the White House presser, all smiling as though they’d just enjoyed an inside joke, rather than a frightening experience. A candid photo of Kegsbreath behind the scenes is the picture of a man very pleased with the outcome of events. It didn’t go as planned, but they got the result they wanted.
So that is my take on the White House Correspondents’ Dinner cozy mystery. There was to be a staged incident to extract Dicktator Don before he fell asleep, and to provide a pretext for “the ballroom is an urgent security necessity” message. But Cole Allen burst on the scene unexpectedly, startling Secret Security agents and everyone else into unanticipated action.
It is thought-provoking to note that Dicktator Don suggested a redo of the thwarted dinner. I wonder what it is that he felt he’d missed when the event came to an early close?
