In a new article in Axios today, they reported that surprise!, Twitter engineers had rigged their default For You cover page to basically act as a tweet dumpster for anything Elon Musk belches out. But if what they’re reporting is even half true, if I were Musk, I might not want to quite so prominent so that people can see that a twit he is.
For example, and this is the 2nd funniest thing in the article. According to Axios, in a recent stock option offering for the double handful of actual humans who still occupy the building every day, Musk reportedly listed the value of Twitter as $20 billion. Which would have me pocketing my checkbook immediately, since the silly bastard actually paid $44 billion for that boondoggle less than six months ago!
Look, I’m no accountant, but you don’t have to be one to quickly see that there is no way that Elon Musk can come out of this looking like anything but a world class Schmuck! Either Musk is the world’s most imbecilic tycoon, “donating” $50 to a Hare Krishna for a $20 book at the airport, or he actually bought a $44 billion company, and in less than six months, has frittered through more than half of the company’s stock value. There is no 3rd logical option, and either of the 1st two have you wondering if his parents didn’t bank his allowance when he was a kid.
And while it’s hysterical to see that pompous overstuff ass with his pants down, taking a paddling over the fence rail, it’s not funny for Musk. Because one of the things he had to do to make the purchase was to collateralize some of his personal shares in Tesla as insurance. And the Tesla board is already rather displeased with him according to reporting, and the last thing he needs to have to do is to start selling off his shares, weakening his control of the board.
And like any other nitwit who has no idea of what he’s doing, Musk is trying to use a wad of chewed bubble gum to fix a burst pipe;
- Twitter announced that starting on April 15th, only subscribed users will be able to have their tweets appear in the default For You stream on the main page. If they can elbow Musk out of the way
- They also announced that effective on April 1st, only subscribed users will be eligible to possess those little blue verified user checkmarks on their tweets. On that date, anybody who was verified under the previous regime will lose their blue checks until they do the right thing
- Twitter is taking these steps simply because their subscription revenue isn’t even leaving a coffee stain on their bottom line yet. Like Trump with his POS Bullshit Social platform, Musk is learning the hard way that while people will look for free, they’re not about to shell out any long green for the privilege
And this duct tape patch job is pleasing neither shareholders nor industry analysts. After all, Twitter’s entire reputation and street creds are as a true global market square, free to all. The more Musk holds people up with subscription fees, add-on charges, and minimalizing their tweets, the more disgruntled global users they shed, and risk their reputation.
However, most analysts are taking this with a cow lick sized grain of salt. Simply because they’ve been burned before. Musk has a nasty habit of making grand Twitter proclamations about service changes, and then the changes never occur, occur but are delayed without explanation, or occur on time and then almost immediately go off of the railings. These guys will believe it when they see it.
But here’s the biggest reason why Musk is such an egotistical moron. Almost all of Musk’s changes since he took over were to make Twitter A true bastion of free speech! Which of course means more neo-Nazi’s, racists, and far right domestic terrorists. Which leaves everybody else either keeping their heads down, or like me, ditching the site entirely. And these ass clowns ain’t paying any subscription fees either, you can bet on that.
But in pandering to all of the rest of these two-legged-stools, Musk is failing to pander to the ones he needs the most to finally plug the leaks and start baling water again. Paid Advertisers! And as long as Twitter is chock-a-block full of Nazi’s and racists, the big ticket advertisers are avoiding Twitter like the kid with cooties. And any one of those big ticket advertisers would be worth all of his subscribers, and then some.
And true to my word, I saved the best for last. because the article contained information negative to Twitter, before going to publication the author e-mailed the media inquiries department with a copy of the article, and a request for comment. The auto generated reply was a smiley turd. And so Elon Musk, for being a world class business idiot, as well as a world champion lowlife, Stand up and take a bow, FOOL!