Good F’ing luck wandering around the outer beaches of South Florida this winter hoping to make an impression with the self-impressed at Mar-a-Lago without having already put in some serious prep work. No – don’t worry about researching your subject, getting detailed biographical material at the ready, no – not that kind of work. No, you have to get your “work” done, meaning botox shots, really expensive dentistry and orthodontia, and creepy-caked makeup. Unless you get all that done and wear it well you’ll never get the look they’re calling “Mar-a-Lago face” which is now an entry-level requirement for the Trump White House. The face solves a few problems.

It does explain how it is that Matt Gaetz can now bear a striking resemblance to both Beavis and Kimberly Guilfoyle. It is almost like they have the exact same face, just with different colors and shapes at various points but the “look” is identical. It isn’t left to chance, according to a new article in The Daily Mail, which states:

Defined by copious use of Botox, a Miami-bronze tan, puffy lips and silky smooth skin, plastic surgeons told DailyMail.com it was giving Trumpland an almost ‘plastic’ and ‘Real Housewives’ look.

And then this is just perfect:

Dr Anthony Youn, a plastic surgeon in Michigan, said: ‘It’s something you’d see in Real Housewives stars, a combination of Botox and filler… that are mildly to moderately overdone.

True… And this is a good place as any to say that there is nothing wrong with “work” to make one’s self-esteem better, this is especially true for women, who society demands that they remain ever-young. That’s not a thing. No – the “thing” is when the only real noticeable attribute is such that taken together it is overdone such that one detects a pattern amidst the entire movement. There is a discernible look that one can see haunting both Kristi Noem and Lara Trump, like they went to the same dermatologist – or priestess.

Now, here below we see Laura Loomer and – it would seem obvious to me, this photo is touched up and made to look even more ridiculous. But in general – tell us where you’ve seen that “look” before?

 

And even “Mar-a-Lago Face” aims to be diverse in its application and seeks out male suitors, too – such as Matt Gaetz. From the Daily Mail article:

‘Matt is clearly one of those people who is getting too much Botox,’ Dr Corey Maas, a plastic surgeon in San Francisco, said. ‘If you can’t raise your eyebrows even a little, it looks odd and expresionless’.

‘In some ways, it is worse to have this in men, because you can get to a point where the eyebrows drop below the rim of the eyes — which can make you look evil frankly.

Yes, that’s a look that is going to take some time to break-in (Is that what tight-face requires? Time to break in? Like a new baseball glove?) Matt doesn’t look so great in that right-side picture.

I recall reading an article on some political site in 2009-2010 – and middle aged men in Washington DC were signing up for basketball classes – focused on skills and half-court etiquette. Then-President Obama hosted a game over at the White House and you had better be able to play if called on. All the cool kids played some ball. Now it appears that all the cool kids have to look like they have a gumball in their lip. That is a terrible segue but this is some terrible material to work with. This gang is far more country club. And Florida country-club at that! This look goes right along with it.

The sad thing is that age appears to make no difference at all. In the same way that Jared Kushner went from normal looking mid-30s guy to weirdly un-gendered Jared in the first term, we have young Matt Gaetz (Now on his way out) already undergoing the changes. They are getting all “worked up” during their peak years!

But that’s sort of the point. If you aren’t all worked over right now in South Florida, you can forget ever making it north to Washington DC. Try outs take place every weekend and it is BYOD at the M-A-L – – Bring Your Own Dentist/Dermatologist to Mar-aaaaa- Lago! This sucks.

God Bless: I can be reached at [email protected] and @JasonMiciak and now on Blue Sky – a better platform. 

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10 COMMENTS

  6. To see the original Mar-a-Lardo face(s), just Google “The Trumpettes.” Oh and you neglected to mention the rubberized boobs ….

    9

  8. ‘Matt doesn’t look so great in that right-side picture.’ It’s not like he looked all that great in the left one either. What a dope! They all are to be injecting toxin to ‘look’ better. Maga-lardo look. UGLY!

    5

  9. I have seen less makeup on hookers in Times Square than on these female Trumphumpers. I am 75. I have some wrinkles on.my forehead and nose and mouth lines. I earned them. But then I prefer to look like Helen Mirren rather than a toucan.

    2

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