You read a few days ago how Jim Morrison was in witness protection and part of his “cover” if you will, was being Rush Limbaugh for 50 years. The mind who conceived of that was just warming up apparently — or she’s getting this batshittery from somebody else who should be writing comedy for the late night shows. In all events, here’s the latest beyond parody revelation, about none other than The King, Elvis Presley.

Okay, Zoomers, time to call this shot:

  1. This is a parody account to troll the QAnoners from within;
  2. This person is an idiot savant and this is sincere, the comedy is unintentional;
  3. This is Jonathon Swift communicating from the great beyond;
  4. George Carlin has reincarnated;
  5. Some other answer, see my comment below.

I wish I could write parody like this. This is wonderful.

Now, if you want to Google Bob Joyce, as I did, you’ll get a link to a video so screwed up that I won’t embed it here. It’s by somebody called The Spa Guy and he has a conversation with Bob Joyce, but the camera is on the weeds. Seriously, go look.

Underneath that is a video entitled Elvis and The Memphis Mafia, which is a documentary. I mention this, because it’s a clue to how this person is cobbling together this crazy CT. She fancies herself as a sort of citizen journalist/researcher and thinks she’s putting together something viable. Incredible, but plausible.

I won’t go over to Parler to follow her or anybody, but Patriot Takes seems to be on it. I am awestruck. I have a fantasy image of her as somebody who seems quite normal, maybe the proprietress of a local gift shop, something pleasant and pedestrian and then she pulls out her phone and there’s a different reality.

And remember the moral message at the end? In this woman’s case it could be something like, “Imagination is a gift and fantasy is a wonderful thing. But not knowing what’s real and what’s made up is the road to tragedy.”

Help keep the site running, consider supporting.


  1. Like seemingly ALL the products of the ‘RWNJ-osphere’ this is beyond self-parodying and into un-parodiable.
    I love the mix of Judeo-Christianity with ‘New-age’ crystals.

    Summed up with
    ‘THINK!!!WHY would I write it if I did not KNOW?

    My guess would be: For fun and profit.

    • The thing about the deposit of crystals caught my attention because New Agers in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico also believe that there’s a deposit of crystals under the town. And, of course, they know about it, and the geologists don’t.

  2. “WHY would I write it if I did not KNOW?” Shades of The Hunting of the Snark! “What I tell you three times is true.” I think she’s LOOKING for a Boojum.
    When I read that crap about kids underground for 5 generations all I could think was, “This is someone who ate waayy too much of the brown acid.”

  3. Um, Michael Jackson? Really? Or does TL Williams believe that Jackson was completely innocent of the pedophile abuse charges of which he was accused and spent the better part of his last 25 years fighting?

    I do have to wonder about some of the others. Elvis was a drug addict and the drugs played a major part in his death (he was, after all, just 42) so, if you’re going to believe that he faked his death, why do it in such a sordid way? (Especially considering the fact the *official* report of his death noted that he died ON THE TOILET. Why in the world would Elvis have wanted THAT to be part of his “faked” death?)

    Marilyn Monroe was also an addict and, again, HER *official* death record included that she was nude when her body was discovered. Sir Elton even mentions that in his classic, “Candle in the Wind”–“all the papers had to say/was that Marilyn was found in the nude.” Her drug use/abuse wasn’t exactly a secret as most of Hollywood’s actresses were doing uppers in the day and downers at night. And, of course, she was allegedly involved with not one, but two, of the Brothers Kennedy; of course, she was also allegedly involved with some shady gangster/Mafia types (so, maybe that’s the reason she’s included–the MAGAts do love themselves some shady folks).

    As for Denver, that’s REALLY puzzling and would suggest that his entire career was “deep cover.” The man was a VEHEMENT environmentalist and he was ADAMANTLY OPPOSED to the very concept of oil drilling in the Arctic Wildlife Refuge (something that Trump wanted to do). I guess the fact that Denver’s death was the result of the crashing of an airplane he owned and was piloting–even though the FAA had revoked his pilot’s license more than a year before his crash due to his failure to remain sober (the AUTOPSY–I guess there’s another person who’s maintained “radio silence” for a quarter-century–revealed no drugs or alcohol in his system at the time of the crash; it turned out he wasn’t able to switch fuel tanks during the flight).

    And, to be perfectly honest, how in the world would there be a “Q/Witness Protection Program” for all these people considering the fact that they ALL died (or, for the right-wing conspiracy theory idiots–“died”) DECADES before “Q” was a thing. Hell, at the time of Monroe’s death (or “death”), the only “Q” that existed was the letter (even the James Bond character wouldn’t actually come into existence until later as “Q” was more of a job title than a character’s name; “Goldfinger” was the first film to conflate the title with a specific person but that film wouldn’t come out for more than 2 years after Monroe’s death). I’m far more willing to believe that Monroe faked her death and JFK faked HIS death (some 15 months later) and the pair moved to some remote island under assumed identities (but not involving “witness protection”).

  4. There’s a Stephen King story where a traveling couple has a break down in a small town, and while getting repairs they realize the town is full of supposedly dead rock legends. Things get creepier, and the town turns out to be a trap where rock legends who sold their souls to live forever capture travelers and force them to attend mysterious concerts every night.

    That makes about as much sense, and honestly the Q theory seems like it borrowed from this story.

  5. People who knew what was going on with Elvis during the last years of his life were surprised only that he wasn’t dead a couple of years earlier. Tom Parker (no, he was never a colonel in any military) tried to sell his contract, and got no takers; damaged goods.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

The maximum upload file size: 128 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video, document, spreadsheet, interactive, text, archive, code, other. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here