Ron DeSantis is the opposite of Rocky. Remember Rocky Balboa? The fighter who believed in himself? He was a long shot, too, but he worked at it. He had mettle. He had grit. He got up at dawn and ran and worked out and lifted weights and jumped rope and he just reinvented himself, one bit at a time. Even the little children began to tag after him, like the Pied Piper, they were so mesmerized by this force of nature.

Ron DeSantis is the opposite. He started out as a long shot, then instead of working to make himself into what he wanted to be, needed to be, he began to shoot himself in the foot daily. Now, the latest poll has him at a dismal 10%, down from 13%, down from 16% down from — oh, never mind.

In a statistical tie with Ramaswamy and Pence? Seriously? That’s what the poll says.

This clip is vintage DeSantis. The man is weird. Simply weird. Too weird for politics and considering he’s running on the GOP ticket in the year 2023, that is saying a mouthful.

Ron will soon be down into the single digits. Speaking of which, I’ve got a single digit for him, in the middle of both hands, as a matter of fact. Join with me now, on the count of three, we collectively flip DeSanta baby off, alright, get ready……. one, two, THREE!!!

Now we get to the really good part. DeSantis is going to have to bail, right? Like Scott Walker did? How does that look, exactly? The Dispatch:

Getting out soon when he’s still in second place (in most polls) would spare DeSantis the ignominy of sliding to third, fourth, or fifth place a la Walker and Harris. It’s one thing to try to beat Donald Trump in a primary and fail, it’s quite another to try to beat Vivek Ramaswamy and fail. If the governor bails out on a Walker-ish timetable, he can argue that he would have been the party’s nominee in a Trump-less primary but that it became clear once Trump was indicted that Republican voters would insist on renominating him to spite the Justice Department. That being so, it was pointless for the governor’s candidacy to continue.

He could even turn his withdrawal into an act of solidarity: “The only way to stop the corrupt DOJ from prosecuting Joe Biden’s political opponents is to show them that we won’t let them choose our nominee for us. I’m ending my campaign and endorsing Donald Trump because the rule of law should matter in this country.”

He’s a skilled enough politician that he might even be able to say that last line with a straight face.
My problem with the Scott Walker approach is that at this point no one will believe DeSantis’ excuses for quitting.

His decline in the polls is glaring and well known. The event at which he officially announced his candidacy was a comic disaster. (Or “DeSaster,” if you prefer.) He burned through so much of his war chest so quickly that he was forced to start laying off staffers within two months of entering the race. He’s “reset” his campaign something like 18 times already this summer. The splashiest content his operation has managed to produce was a bizarre bit of fascist-adjacent propaganda that featured a symbol of white supremacy.

No matter how doggedly he tries to retcon an early exit as something he did for altruistic reasons, it’ll be precisely as convincing as Pee Wee Herman tumbling off his bicycle and declaring, “I meant to do that.”

Which is to say, it’ll make him look more pathetic than he already does, particularly given the immense hype his candidacy generated initially. As formidable as Walker, Harris, and Cruz seemed when they ran for president, none of them approached how imposing DeSantis looked when he blew the roof off in Florida last November and soared into contention against Trump in early primary polling. If he quits, there’s no spin that’ll avert the perception that he underperformed to an embarrassing degree, an historic example of a politician who proved to be not ready for primetime.

There’s also nothing he’ll be able to say to Trump and his fans to regain their respect after doing so. Populists crave dominance and pugnacity; DeSantis exiting the race early to prevent an even more brutal beating would be tantamount to a boxer quitting on the stool after a rough first round. MAGA fans would mock him ruthlessly for having ever believed he could beat the champ, not relenting until he bends the knee and re-pledges his fealty at the convention.

By 2028, when he’ll have already been out of office as governor of Florida for two years, I expect many MAGA voters will view him roughly the way they now view Cruz—as an ally, sure, but a lackluster one who’s too much of a beta male to represent them and too treacherous to be trusted after opposing Trump once before. There’ll be a hot new thing in Republican politics by then too, possibly Sen. J.D. Vance or soon-to-be(?) Sen. Kari Lake, possibly newly minted politician Tucker Carlson. The party will almost certainly have moved on from DeSantis to even less likable, more sinister populist goblins.

“You have a moment,” Casey DeSantis reportedly told her husband in trying to persuade him to run for president this cycle. 2024 was Ron DeSantis’ moment. There’s no elegant exit from his current predicament that’ll turn 2028 into his moment instead. Jacksonville columnist Nate Monroe writes:

What DeSantis has lost he can never regain: a sense that he is an alpha, the Top Gov, God’s ordained fighter. DeSantis is small and appearing smaller with every reset, every faux pas, every cringey guffaw. The ham-handed effort his campaign made to conjure some sort of Camelot aura around he and his wife looks even more ham-handed and desperate. And worse, the world is discovering what a bore the man is, the critical weakness his superior, the criminally inclined Donald Trump, diagnosed immediately. DeSantis is a one-note wonder: beady-eyed grievance, whiney, dour.

DeSantis can’t quit the race on that note and survive politically long-term. I think he has little choice but to fight on and do what he can to make a better impression before capitulating.

I think his goose is cooked no matter what he does. By the time 2028 rolls around, he’s going to be in the Ted Cruz has been, also ran class. And who knows who will be who or who will be where in 2028? But I don’t see DeSantis lasting in politics too much longer.

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10 COMMENTS

  1. He still looks like he’s trying to act emotions he’s never actually experienced.

    He falls too quickly into the ‘uncanny valley’ where you can see what he’s trying to emote, but at the same time failing to convince you it’s real emotion.

    I’ve seen more convincing animatronics in malls.

    12
    • He looks surprisingly fake. That is deadly for a politician. He’s the dead opposite of Bill Cllnton. Clinton loved people, loved to press the flesh. At least, that’s how he came across and it did him worlds of good.

  2. He’s in THIRD? It’s gonna be a whole lotta fun once he’s down in single digits. I’d never heard of the guy who’s a point ahead of him now, nor had most GOPers and that has to be eating ole Ron up inside. Better still Pence, Mike freaking Pence his moving up and might overtake him. Talk about humiliation! Sadly, I don’t see any real indications the Democratic Party in FL has stopped whining from a fetal position in some dark corner whispering “please Republicans don’t hurt me!” but IF they start doing so and ignite even a spark a lot of Ron’s obedient servants in the legislature might start worrying and deciding it’s time to stop letting him play dictator in their state.

  3. Those goodly stats being reported help him understand he’s nothing but an unwanted, unloved, outlier, and it’d be a sure bet it’s making the angry little man even angrier. Adios amigos, get back in your box.

  4. wow. Falling behind rama swamy ding dong has got to sting. Let’s get some popcorn and watch him shoot off his whole damned leg now. lmao

  5. Phuck Trump. Phuck this pissant. Phuck that list of nazis/child killers. Someone should try and throw a tennis ball into his mouth when he opens it that wide again. It looks unnatural…almost like he had a rubber ball strapped into it repeatedly like the gimp in Pulp Fiction. I guess that would make his stepford wife the dominatrix, albeit with a strap on in red, white, and blue. YIKES!!!

  6. The image of him mopping the flop sweat off his face and wiping it off on that old man’s shirt says all I need to know about that toad.

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