HOOORAYYY!!!
Today a federal district bankruptcy judge put the final nail in serial scumbag Alex Jones’s coffin. It was announced that after the dissolution of Jones’s private assets to settle his $1 billion settlement to the Sandy Hook relatives, the court has ordered the overseer to shut down the umbrella company of Jones’s Infowars empire, and sell it all off to help him settle his debt.
Ding-Dong the witch is dead, the wicked witch, the witch is dead! In a matter of months, if not weeks, serial scumbag, conspiracy theorist and all around vicious psychopath Alex Jones will finally lose his empire, an empire built on the backs of misery and despair from the helpless victims he so shamelessly used and abused. And while I seriously doubt that his blood soaked empire is worth a billion dollars. That just means that no matter what the soulless ghoul does to support himself in the future, 15-20% of his earnings will have a federal bankruptcy lien on it to pay off the Sandy Hook victims families, even if he’s only working at a goddamned car wash.
And as late night gadget pitchman Ron Popiel used to say, But wait! There’s more! Unlike Trump’s brain dead Trombies, as well as various prime time FUX News trolls, I actually pay attention to legitimate news that manages to wriggle its way into my feeble brain. And from what I heard, Alex Jones is nowhere near the end of his descent into dante’s 7th ring of Hell.
Let me lead in by presenting you with a scenario. How many times have you read, heard, or seen on television a report about the cops being called into a Double D call, a domestic dispute. The cops come in to try to break up the amateur UFC combatants. While separating the star crossed lovers, one officer notices a plastic zip bag of funny white powder on the end table. The bag, in plain sight contains crystal meth. The couple is arrested for possession, a search warrant is issued, and a crystal meth lab is found in the basement. A family pissing contest turns into long term incarceration for manufacturing controlled substances with the intent to distribute.
Welcome to the worlds of Donald Trump and Alex Jones. These two idjits are Siamese Con Twins separated at birth. The only difference between Trump and Jones is Trump’s Wharton School of Business degree. Both were smart enough to build private companies, and as long as each was careful enough to not go stupid time, there was no one to expose their larceny. But because both of them are imbeciles at birth, both of them did something overtly stupid, which caused officialdom to start looking.
When the juries tapped Jones for a cool billion, he no longer had any choice but to file for personal bankruptcy to try to mitigate his hit. But there was just one small problem with that solution. In filing for full bankruptcy, Jones was required at filing to open his books, both personal as well as professional to federal auditors.
Which didn’t work out well for Jones. Within weeks, auditors started reporting what I’ll gracefully call creative accounting techniques. Like Trump, Jones spent decades cooking his books just carefully enough to be able to pass a casual IRS inspection or audit, knowing that his Mom-and-Pop-bodega was small enough to prevent any disgruntled employees from dropping a dime.
But his being forced to file bankruptcy to protect himself, he had to open up his books to experienced examiners who know what to look for. And since his case was filed in federal bankruptcy court, that means that it will be DOJ lawyers and accountants who will be going over his records with a fine tooth comb, looking for improprieties.
From my lips to God’s ear. Alex Jones is an imbecile who thought he was smarter than anybody else, smart enough to keep things small enough to be able to keep a secret. But then Jones’s mouth wrote a check his bank accounts couldn’t cash, and now he has the FBI, DOJ, and IRS crawling up his ass. My fondest dream is that Alex Jones doesn’t just finish his life as a disgraced pauper, he finishes it in federal prison on multiple convictions for bank and tax fraud. Along with interstate bank fraud, since he used the internet. Payback is a bitch, and she’s in heat.
I thank you for the privilege of your time.
Karma is a bitch, isn’t she; particularly when she carries the force of law.
May the vision of dead elementary children haunt him til he takes a dirt nap. What a scumbag.
If the vision of dead elementary school children didn’t haunt him after he first spread that despicable, morally reprehensible lie, it won’t do so now. Or ever.
Oh, he’ll bemoan the loss of his Infowars empire and the millions of dollars he was raking in every year from it, and probably have nightmares over that loss but dead school kids? For that you have to have empathy for others but Jones is little more than a sociopath.
Would that it could Scott. I think he is without even a minimal amount of normal human emotions-he certainly lacks empathy.
Sadly, I believe you are correct, Spike. I see Alex as an absolute copy of DJT – total psychopath. He would do ANYTHING for money. Human emotions other than bare-ass greed are utterly foreign to this sack of poop.
Love your writing. I do. But my man, you could use a proofreader. It’s Ron Popeil, not Ray Popiel.
I’ve gotten used to the errors, and you’re an insightful, bright, funny writer, so I just ignore them…I know what you meant to say, and I don’t want to nitpick the enjoyment out of your pieces.
My degree was in Journalism (when Jesus was in the fifth grade), so that’s how I was trained for accuracy. And I’m not trying to piss on your writing. You and Jeff Tiedrich help keep my sanity these days.
Hey Eric, who’s Jeff Tiedrich and where can I find his writing?
https://x.com/itsJeffTiedrich?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor
Eric…murf has vision issues…that’s the reason. A few typos aren’t enough to stop his dark humor and political insights. Just thought you already knew as many here do. Since George Carlin left us…murf has picked up the baton.
They need to check the backyard and garden and basement for bodies…I wouldn’t be surprised to.hear he is a serial killer.
Sandy Hook parents will be satisfied if that happens. Just a big thank you and your nose for good news!