Pence Out, Mike Johnson’s Election Took the Wind Out Of His Sails

Mike Pence, who was polling at 1% on a good day, has finally decided to give up the ghost. That begs the question, “Why?” The answer Pence gives is the Bible made me do it. Not in those words, exactly, but in these words, which you’ll read below. But I believe the real reason has to do with the elevation of Mike Johnson to Speaker of the House.

Last June, I announced my intention to seek the Republican nomination for President of the United States because I believe this country is in a lot of trouble.  I was raised to believe that “to much is given, much will be required.”

And with everything this country is facing, we just couldn’t sit this one out.

But The Bible tells us, “There is a time for every purpose under heaven.”  So, after much prayer and deliberation, I have decided to suspend my campaign for President effective immediately. […]

I urge you to give our country a Republican standard bearer that will ‘appeal to the better angels of our nature’ and not only lead us to victory but also lead our nation with civility and back to those time-honored principles that have always made America strong, prosperous and free.

Now who the hell that might be, he does not say. Intriguing that Pence is leaving the race, as others have, without throwing his support to somebody. He’s not throwing it to Trump, aka the “old felon” obviously, and he’s also not throwing it to DeSantis or Haley.

Now here’s what’s with the timing, as I see it. Mike Johnson has been House Speaker since the 25th, which is three days. In that less than 72 hours, the press has exploded with the stories of Johnson doing everything from fighting to fund the Noah’s Ark amusement park in Kentucky to having a Black, invisible adopted son, nowhere to be seen in family portraits or backyard snapshots.

Then, just last night, another story broke of how Kelly Johnson, along with Mike, does a podcast as an adjunct to her Onward Christian Counseling Service, a company which states in its business documents that it believes homosexuality is akin to bestiality and incest. 

Johnson’s lunacy has polluted the political groundwaters for Mike Pence. Pence is a weak sister, fourth string (if even) political talent at best. He was a dreadful congressman. He started out his political career in a controversial fashion, pilfering campaign contributions to pay his mortgage and buy groceries. He was a bad governor of Indiana and basically his career was over until Donald Trump plucked him from the ash heap and dusted him off, needing somebody to placate both the religious folks and lend some air of safe Republican daddy to his twisted campaign.

Now Trump is headed to be convicted of felonies and Johnson is the lightning rod for all the fundamentalist religious mania and Pence has finally realized that he doesn’t have a prayer. He can’t distance himself successfully from Trump and he has zero chance of distancing himself from Johnson. Pence is also a theocrat. He always has been. Erik Prince and Betsy DeVos bankrolled him back in the day. He and Johnson are singing the exact same song, maybe in a different key, but that’s it. Here’s the Catch-22 in a nutshell: Pence is trying to distance from Trump aka MAGA. But MAGA elected the religious wingnut, Johnson, and there’s no way Pence can’t distance himself from what Johnson preaches, because Pence is also preaching theocracy and quoting the Bible. He’s totally trapped.

So Pence is gone. Au revoir, Mike. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass. Maybe you can write a sequel to Marlon Bundo, the rabbit. That was the most creative idea you ever had, was the name Marlon Bundo. We do salute you for that.

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