As I said yesterday, one small step down for Kevin McCarthy, one giant drop into the abyss for the GOP — and anybody who is exposed to who and what Mike Johnson is all about. Today’s story is about wife Kelly, with whom he’s been in a “covenant marriage” for over two decades. What’s a covenant marriage? It’s a marriage that is more difficult to get out of than a regular marriage and it’s only legal in a handful of states. And you thought it was bad enough that Johnson was an election denier. HA! That’s the tip of the pyramid, friends. Huffington Post:

The wife of newly elected House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) runs a counseling business that advocates the belief that homosexuality is comparable to bestiality and incest, according to its operating documents.

Johnson and his wife, Kelly, have long intertwined their political and business lives: They became a known entity in the late 1990s when they went on national television as the face of Louisiana’s new marriage covenant law, which makes it harder to get a divorce. Today, they co-host a podcast, “Truth Be Told,” where they talk about political and social issues from a conservative Christian perspective. Their podcast is up to 69 episodes.

“We have been working in ministry side by side and together for our whole marriage,” Johnson said last year when he and his wife launched their podcast, in an interview with The Message, a website that connects members of the Louisiana Southern Baptist community.

The House speaker’s identity as an evangelical Christian has been a driving force in hisin his personal life and his career, which includes eight years as the senior attorney and national spokesperson for a legal nonprofit affiliated with the religious right.

And don’t forget, Johnson persuaded the State of Kentucky that they needed to give money to build a replica of Noah’s Ark. Does anybody know if Johnson is scheduled for any of the Sunday political shows? I was hoping he could elaborate on how Noah got all those dinosaurs on the boat, two of each, you know? The T-Rex didn’t eat the brontosaurus, or anything like that? Johnson would know, right?

Kelly Johnson features the couple’s podcast on the website of her company, Onward Christian Counseling Services, which promotes Bible-based pastoral counseling. Her website also includes a link to its 2017 operating agreement, which lays out the corporate bylaws for the company ― and embraces a number of socially conservative beliefs about LGBTQ+ people and women’s reproductive rights.

The agreement states that Onward Christian Counseling Services is grounded in the belief that sex is offensive to God if it is not between a man and a woman married to each other. It puts being gay, bisexual or transgender in the same category as someone who has sex with animals or family members, calling all of these examples of “sexual immorality.”

“We believe and the Bible teaches that any form of sexual immorality, such as adultery, fornication, homosexuality, bisexual conduct, bestiality, incest, pornography or any attempt to change one’s sex, or disagreement with one’s biological sex, is sinful and offensive to God,” says the eight-page business document.

God only loves you if you’re straight and apparently in a strait-jacket marriage, as well. And are you having a sense of deja vu? Of course you are.

Comparing homosexuality to bestiality and incest was relatively common among Republicans in the early 2000s, when the party made battling same-sex marriage a central issue during President George W. Bush’s reelection bid in 2004. Then-Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) famously made the comparison in 2003, suggesting a Supreme Court case striking down state bans on sodomy would open the door to “man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be.”

All that madness was 20 years ago, but somehow we’re all fine and some gay people have been able to get married and mind their own business. It’s that last part that the Republican party just can’t swing.

Say what you will about Kevin McCarthy, he wasn’t this batshit.

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  1. So Johnson & his wife’s podcast is designed much like DON THE CON’S fake twitter site, which contains the word “Truth” in the name, but contains not a bit of truth in the CON-tent.
    The Johnson’s podcast is called Truth be told, while again… very little truth is told.

  2. “I was hoping he could elaborate on how Noah got all those dinosaurs on the boat, two of each, you know? The T-Rex didn’t eat the brontosaurus, or anything like that? Johnson would know, right?”

    So, Noah’s Ark began its voyage in Jurassic Park, eh? That’s the only place that a “T-Rex” could’ve ever encountered a “brontosaurus” as the brontosaurus actually lived in the “Jurassic Age” (roughly 156 to 146 million years ago) while the “T Rex” didn’t even come along for nearly 80 million years (the T Rex actually lived at the time of the great mass extinction roughly 66 million years ago while the bronts had been extinct some 80 million years before their fellow dinosaurs would be wiped out).

    For what it’s worth, the Bible actually has TWO accounts for the Noah’s Ark fable: The more common has the standard “two of every animal” while the lesser known version breaks the command into two parts, “two of every UNCLEAN animal” and “seven of every CLEAN animal.” The real problem here is that the latter was introduced much later into the Genesis story, largely to answer the question “What did Noah and his family eat on the Ark?” Of course, there’s nothing that answers the question, “When the Ark came to rest, why was there anything more than crocodiles on it?” (since there’s nothing explaining exactly what all the carnivores–felinids, canids, crocodilians, etc–were supposed to nosh on during the trip). The dietary laws didn’t come along for centuries (more likely, millennia), during the life of Moses, so Noah and his family would NOT have been bound by the restrictions but later rabbis (probably during the Babylon captivity) decided to retroactively make Noah and his family “good Jews” who kept kosher so there needed to be a “clean animals” distinction.

    Of course, most “Christians” don’t actually know this–just as they don’t know that there are TWO different Creation accounts: The first states that God created man AND woman at the same time; the other is the source of the “rib” nonsense (for what it’s worth, the first account also puts the animals on the earth first while the second has them come after Adam to be his “companions” which Adam names–the second one also shows that God’s not much of a good companion because Adam, for some reason, still feels “lonely” even with all the animals and the opportunity to be in God’s presence). They also don’t seem to find a way to reconcile the “fulfills the prophecy” nonsense about Jesus’s birth; the story as noted in Matthew 1 relates that “And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus: for he shall save his people from their sins” (verse 21) and then “Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us (verses 22-23). How does naming the kid “Jesus” fulfill a prophecy that he would be called “Emmanuel” (a name which absolutely no one uses at any point after the Nativity story)? Was his name “Jesus Emmanuel” or “Emmanuel Jesus?” Love how “Biblical literalists” never seem to bother trying to reconcile such blatant goofs. A fiction writer would have his manuscript sent back with “WTF, dude? Which of these things do you mean to be right?”

    • FWIW, I take enormous glee at tossing out the first version at evangelical types who push the wife being submissive to.the husband because Eve was created from.Adam’s rib. Most of them don’t even realize there are two.Creation stories, because they only read a few verses at a time and are never taught to the historical context in which it was written. They can quote random verses, but don’t actually know what they mean.

  3. The words “sinful and offensive to God” have no place in a “business document.” Nor does either concept have a place in a healthy brain.

  4. Hypocrisy thy name is Republican. I’d bet that 99.9% of their caucus wouldn’t pass the purity test, not to mention their lecherous leader, who by their own standards should have been incinerated in the pits of Hell long ago. This guy truly is a gift to the Democrats.

  5. Ah yes:
    ‘adultery’ – what about King David and Bathsheba?
    ‘fornication’ – just how many wives and concubines did King Solomon have?
    ‘incest’ – what about Lot sleeping both his daughters (the ones he offered up for gang rape back in Sodom) and getting them pregnant)?

    But they were all ‘righteous’ (or something)

    Let’s not go into Abraham sleeping with his slave – after all, Ben Franklin did that too

    The Johnsons DO know that none of the ‘prohibited acts’ are from the teachings of Yeshua – they all came from the first half of the book (most of which was written during the captivity in Babylon where the scribes ‘borrowed’ Babylonian legends (read the saga of Gilgamesh and see where ‘Noah’ came from) and added a few more ‘details’ of their own

  6. Joseph you could spend years, as Biblical scholars have, showing all the inconsistencies, additions, edits, rejections of other texts, etc. concerning the collection of ancient documents known as the Bible. They aren’t interested in the truth, only the buzzwords to mask their evil, so they can act in self righteous ways to control other people to gain power, money, and self importance…antithetical to the best messages from the text.

  7. Dem candidates: the campaign ads just write themselves. These people are gifting you with enough ammunition to keep them out of high public office for the rest of their little, fascist lives.

  8. Don’t forget that in 2019, that Kentucky Ark group sued its insurance company because it wouldn’t cover rain damage! 🤣 Unfortunately, it wasn’t damage to the ark itself but for mudslides on the entrance road. Not as ironic, but still a hoot!

  9. He makes Bratty Matty and Gym Jordan look.good in comparison. If this is what moderates consider acceptable, then there are no moderates, just Crazy and Dumb and Crazier and Dumber.

  10. As far as the wife feelings about sex.…Trump and his morals/attitudes don’t even come close to meshing with their ‘beliefs’. Trump being a serial adulterer fucking his mistresses & porn stars while married sounds like he should be an affront to these hypocrites. These 2 assholes shoukd be horrified by Trump. Talk about hypocrites. I wish I lived close to them so I could spray paint HYPOCRITE on their business EVERY DAY. I would include the house but they have young-ish kids that had no choice who their fucked up parents are. If the kids were out of the home, I’d be eager to spray paint it. I’d be out in front of it with a sign with ‘HYPOCRITES live here’ in one hand Spray paint in the other. The street out in front of the house, spray paint. religious hypocrisy is my biggest peeve and these 2 are about the biggest hypocrites out there.

  11. Yeah, been trying to pin the face down for awhile. I got one of those face type memories and I knew I had seen this clown before. And I knew it wasn’t political. I knew all about the ark thing. We won’t go there but I have some let’s say religious friends. We had a good time over the ark. But now I remember part of the conversation was about how this new messiah was going to be intimately bothering his animals. Oh, I got him now. He is a clown. A very smart one but still a clown. And as every notable person soon finds out. He has a Achilles heel. Buried somewhere in there is some dirt. That’s why he suddenly fell off the stage. It was either sex or money or both and it didn’t involve his wife. Right now that’s all I remember. Unless I’m mistaken, you can dig around in his closet and some skeletons are going to fall out. He’s a republican, it’s in their nature.

  12. The myth of Noah is one example that I often point to as proof the bible (aka the giant book of Jewish fairy tales) is the “word of man”, not the “word of god”. SO many errors in that one story.

    First, the author knew that a breeding pair of animals can produce offspring, however, after a few generations, inbreeding would make the progeny non-viable.

    Second, how could a single vessel house thousands of animals and where would you store the food?

    The Earth is a closed ecosystem. Where did enough water to completely flood it originate and where did it all go.

    You would think an all-knowing god would know all these things, just sayin’
    Xians will say the answer is “MAGIC”.


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