As Rachel Maddow says, “Watch what they do, not what they say.” If we go along with that premise then Kristi Noem has been speaking volumes to us the past few months with her “MAGA makeover” as it is called by the New York Times. The Grey Lady of journalism goes on to tell us that “she practically looks like a member of the Trump family” and “she’s the perfect ornament for Trump.” Dear Gawd. Between the two of them they couldn’t generate enough mental electricity to power a 40 watt bulb and this is who the GOP wants on its ticket? Evidently.

“It’s all about her appeal to an audience of one,” Ron Bonjean, a Republican strategist, said. “The whole teeth thing almost looks like it was done for Trump to see. She is showing him she works well in front of the camera, that she has that star power he wants onstage with him, while fitting into the mode of women in the Trump universe.”

Mr. Trump was, after all, the president who often identified his staff members, especially members of the military, as coming from “central casting.” He now dresses almost entirely in the colors of the American flag. He reportedly liked women to “dress like women” — and, as Richard Thompson Ford, a law professor at Stanford University and the author of “Dress Codes: How the Laws of Fashion Made History,” said, “We know what that means to him.” It is reflected in the profile of almost every woman in the Trump orbit, including his family members and his former press secretary Kayleigh McEnany.

In this, Ms. Noem’s dental upgrade is simply the most recent step in what appears to be a yearslong makeover that has transformed her, more than any other woman on Mr. Trump’s shortlist, into what Samantha N. Sheppard, a professor of cinema and media studies at Cornell University, called “the perfect ornament for Trump.” Even beyond her popularity and credentials as a governor, and her MAGA platform, she offers an example of a certain kind of “Miss America-like white femininity,” Ms. Sheppard said, also reflected in Fox News anchors and that involves cascading hair, extensive eyelashes and a blinding smile. […]

The governor may sell herself in part as a grass-roots cowgirl, but Ms. Noem is speaking Mr. Trump’s language, proving that she belongs and that she is all in with his vision. That she is going to “get in line and stay in line,” Ms. Sheppard said. “That she knows how to conduct herself and be who he needs her to be.”

He needs her to be an ornament who agrees with him. That is Donald Trump’s definition of womanhood, right there. There is no other.

Ron Filipkowski has predicted for some time now that Elise Stefanik will be Trump’s VP pick. But frankly? I’m starting to go along with the New York Times on this. On a pragmatic level, Stefanik would have been a good choice because she would have played Dick Cheney to Trump’s Dubya and God knows he needs it. But Trump has too much insecurity to allow anything like that to take place. He wants an ornament because he believes an ornament will get votes.

Or, maybe people in Trump world will override his worst instincts and have him choose Stefanik for pragmatic reasons. Stefanik has proven herself to be pure Orwell Ministry of Truth material. She just makes up the MAGA lies and layers them on with a trowel. That, and raw intelligence, which Stefanik has, would make her a powerful ally for Trump. But I’m not sure he sees that, because again and always, Trump thinks in terms of television. He’s got to have a hot lawyer and a hot VP and a whole stable of hotties in attendance on him at Mar-a-Lago at all times.

If Trump did manage to get back in office, Jared Kushner would be there with bells on. And it would be “My Star” (his nickname for Kushner) time all over again. Kushner would be Secretary of Everything and overseeing a legion of Project 2025 hires, as the civil service gets gutted. Forget about the trains running on time, these people will do well to be able to find their way to work and back.

What a long way we’ve come since 2016. In 2016 it was brand new information to Kushner that the new administration was supposed to hire staffers to take over from the Obama administration. He didn’t know even that rudimentary basic of government — yet he and Ivanka were discussing which one of them would run for president first, reportedly.  But now Kushner knows all these basics and the loyalists are in place and ready to swarm in like a Biblical plague of locusts on day one.

I think it’s very possible that Trump and Noem have spoken about her being VP and he’s given her the green light. Either that, or her MAGA makeover is one elaborate audition for The Apprentice: Dictator Edition. She’s ready for her close up now, Mr. DeMille.


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  1. That photo is interesting. She’s clearly practicing the Mike Pence “adoring stare” which was nauseating but still funny when Nancy Reagan did it with her “Ronnie.” With Pence is was just weird and creepy. Noem at least is a female gazing at Trump like that. I noticed something else. As I recall Noem has black, or at least very, very dark brown hair. In that pic it’s clearly a much lighter shade that she used to sport. Maybe she’s trying to effect the change to blonde gradually hoping no one will notice? Getting her chest augmented to something that would meet with Trump’s approval might be next although that would likely kick up a stir. Suddenly sporting a Bobo or Habba sized set of implants would, if not in mainstream media generate all kinds of mocking on social media.

    As for Stefanik, where she’d actually be the most use to Trump is as his Chief of Staff. She could do a TON of damage from that spot because she actually knows shit. Way more than Jar Jar who wouldn’t want the job anyway. He’d rather be as you put it “Secretary of Everything”, a next generation Al Haig so to speak. No doubt he has a plan to end the Israel war with Hamas if it isn’t over by Jan. 2025. I’ll bet he’s even read a couple of books on urban warfare!

  2. If brains were gasoline, Traitor Tot and his entire cult wouldn’t have enough to run a piss-ant’s go cart 2 laps around a cheerio!



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