The worst kept secret in politics is that Donald Trump, Jr. is strung out on drugs, probably cocaine. Some people think this kind of talk is unkind and slanderous. Therefore, in an abundance of fairness, let’s assume that Junior is NOT under the influence of any drug. Indulge me, here, for just a moment.

So, since he’s stone cold sober, would somebody explain the obvious nasal sound to his voice? Because that would be a symptom of cocaine usage, but we’ve decided not to say that, since we don’t know for absolute sure. So what causes that, if not cocaine?

Another symptom of cocaine usage is rapid speech and manic movements. This is especially prevalent with people who smoke crack cocaine. But we decided that we wouldn’t accuse Junior of that tonight. So, what else would make somebody talk more rapidly than a Kentucky barn auctioneer? Seriously, I want to know.

Here’s an auctioneer.

Let’s look on the bright side. Junior has an obvious career move to make. This is where his talents lie.

And he used the words “you know” 13 times in 40 seconds. Doesn’t seem to be a lot of composure there.

I await any and all suggestions of what causes this in Don Junior besides drugs. The leftist blogs have been accused of being unkind to Junior, judging him as a junkie and in a spirit of seeking knowledge only, I am here to say we won’t judge junior that way here tonight.

So what else causes this, friends? Because this certainly isn’t normal, would you agree?

I’ve just given you my best shot, that Junior is training to be an auctioneer. It’s either that or white lady, as cocaine is called in some circles.

I welcome any other theories.

 

 

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