My friends, I swear to God, I’m like a five year old in a candy store with a $10 bill in my pocket. There is so much information coming out since the announcement of the indictments, and so much of it has subtle political inferences to draw that I don’t even know where to start. And if you think that I’m bad now, then just wait until the indictments are unsealed on Tuesday afternoon. For me, that’s going to be The Big Rock Candy Mountain.
Here’s a perfect example of what I’m talking about. Now granted, it’s purely a matter of semantics, but when it comes to politics, Imagine Is Everything, Once the indictments broke yesterday afternoon, it didn’t take long for the Trump defense team to spring to action. A Florida Trump lawyer released a statement stating that President Trump will voluntarily fly to New York on Monday, and turn himself in to authorities on Tuesday for processing. Notice that both of those statements make it sound as though Traitor Tot is generously giving Manhattan DA Bragg some of his precious time to get this bullshit started. Trump is the hero, the tolerant and reasonable one.
I’ve got to admit, I’m impressed. Those are two world class examples of legal word salad. Much better than what I would have expected from the K-Mart lawyers that El Pendejo Presidente is used to conning out of their paychecks. But with that said, they’re also as deceptive as hell.
Because when it comes to police, criminal law, and media vocabulary, there’s a different phrase for all of that flowery prose the Trump lawyers are pushing out like Hallmark Mothers Day cards. In whet world on non Trump lawyers, any time a suspect turns himself in, whether it’s a former President of the United States, or a 3rd rate purse snatcher who got identified turns themselves in, the phrase that is used in every case is that the Suspect surrendered himself to the police for processing.
B.I.N.G.O.! That’s the magic word, and the only one the Trump lawyers couldn’t bear to include in their flowery eulogies. Surrender. Don’t take my word for it, just look in your own memory banks. How many times have you read a newspaper account, or seen a tv news report of anyone from a convenience store robber to a mass shooter that raised their hands and were taken into custody. And every one of them surrendered to the police.
And that’s the one word that Every Democrat, and every Trump opponent in the primaries needs to start hammering constantly after the arraignment on Tuesday afternoon. Whenever they say anything about Trump’s indictment, just remember to tell the crowd that he surrendered.
Because since his very inception as a politician, The Trumpster Fire has sought to portray himself as some kind of Aryan Superman. And no self respecting superman would ever surrender to an enemy! He would have his limbs hacked off in glorious battle rather than to ever submit. But the official word for what Trump is about to do is surrender.
Which will drive Trump in-fucking-sane! because there’s not a goddamn thing he can do about it. The Democrats can slam him with it, the primary opponents can slam him with, anybody can slam him with it. And the connotation is deadly for Trump’s superhuman psyche and persona. But ya know, the only people who surrender are losers! But what kind of Trumpian primal scream bullshit can he come up with on the campaign trail to explain away what everybody on the planet saw him do on Tuesday?
We’ll all see it on Tuesday, even Trombies, since this is the kind of unique news story that even FUX News can’t ignore. And what we’ll all see is FrankenTrump get out of a limousine, walk into the Manhattan courthouse, and present himself to the NYPD to be booked, processed, fingerprinted, and mug shotted before being marched into a courtroom to present his official plea of Not Guilty to a judge, who will then set bail and terms. And ladies and gentlemen, it that isn’t abject surrender, then I don’t know what is.