It has been asked why we publish a diary about animals on a political blog. My reasoning is that sometimes I am “up to here” with all the political news, the outrages, the nonsense, the angst and the predictions, and I am ready to take a little break for a few minutes and read something benign. My stories are meant to provide a little respite from the craziness for anyone who wishes it. If you don’t care to read such things, please just move on to something that is more to your taste. For the others, I hope you enjoy reading these tales. They are meant to be “family friendly,” so you can feel free to read them to your children or grandchildren, to your pets, to the squirrels in the trees outside or the bears rooting in your trash cans. After all, as Garfield once said, we are all in this together.
“Come on and get settled here beside me,” I called Allen and Kiki. “We have some more limericks today.
“Oh, goody,” I hear them say, as they leap up on my chair and I open the book of crazy poems.
A ladybug oddly named Fred
wore a polka dot outfit of red
She fell in love with a lizard
whose nickname was Gizzard
and they shmoozed in a big flower bed
Kiki had a comment. “I thought that lizards ate bugs. Do you think he gobbled up the ladybug?”
“No, I think they made a deal because they loved each other.”
“Well,” piped up Allen, “if I were the ladybug, I think I might have been a bit scared.”
“The way it’s supposed to work, kitties, is that when love is involved, you can trust one another.”
I hoped.
A warthog named Old Hildegarde
once slid down a hill made of lard
She stood up with a snore
said “Let’s do it once more”
But the trip to the top was too hard
There once was a little gray pigeon
who decided to take up religion
When he pondered the church
where he wanted to perch
He was riddled with much indecision
There once was a camelopard
who had the whole veldt for his yard
He got called a giraffe
which just made him laugh
He thought that was so avant-garde
“Why did they call him by the wrong name?” asked Allen. “I wouldn’t like that.”
“Actually, the animal that in the United States is called a giraffe, is actually called a camelopard in some other countries. So, I guess both names are right.”
A quite enterprising young snail
asked to travel awhile with a whale
“I’m not sure it will work”
said the whale with a smirk
“but you’re welcome to ride on my tail”
“But the snail is going to get all wet!” My kitties looked on in horror. Splashy water is NOT their best friend.
A mosquito and his evil friend
took off for a biting weekend
but in dark circumstances
took too many chances
and sadly, came to a bad end
“It annoys me and keeps me awake when those mosquitos buzz and whine around my head,” Kiki said.
“Yeah, me, too,” added Allen. “I don’t like them very much.”
“I’m with you on that, kitties. I remember the nights when I have been awake with the covers up around my head, in fear that one of those little flying monsters would bite me.”
“Would they eat you up?”
“I think they aren’t quite big enough to do that, but they can cause some unpleasantness sometimes. In any case, it looks like the ones in that poem won’t be bothering anyone anymore,” I reassured them.
“Wow, look at the next one. What is this one about?” Allen again. “That critter looks like he has needles attached to his body.”
“He must be uncomfortable having to be careful not to stick himself with those spiky things.”
A nice porcupine name of Quill
has a house on the top of a hill
He went out in his yard
with his big Saint Bernard
and picked her a nice daffodil
There once was a little red fox
who liked to ride on a muskox
They became quite good friends
then met up with some hens
and they all sat around and ate lox
in a garden of lovely pink phlox
The muskox donned yellow striped socks
and they all stayed away from the crocs
Then some monks in their big flowing frocks
brought them food that they’d cooked in their woks
The food was packed up in some blue and gray crocks
and they put the food down on a big wooden box
Then everyone sat on some big old flat rocks
(except for the crocs…
They weren’t invited)
and
said,
“This is getting pretty ridiculous, isn’t it?”
The kitties had something to say about that. “Poor crocodile. Why didn’t they invite him to the party?”
“Well,” I replied. “I suspect they were afraid he would eat them up.”
“You used to have a song about not smiling at a crocodile.”
“Yes, it’s from the movie Peter Pan. Here’s the link to the You tube version of it if you want to listen to it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NFBm_brx4Q.”
“Don’t you have some crocodile shoes up in your closet?”
“They’re called CROCS, Kiki.”
“Well, do crocodiles wear them, too?” Allen asked.
“I’m sure those shoes are much too small to fit crocodiles. Besides, the shoes have nothing to do with real crocodiles. It’s a whole different thing.”
They made up a little rhyme for me…
Our mom says her crocs are just shoes
and they come in some very bright hues
They don’t swim, they don’t bite
If they did, it just might
make some very spectacular news.
“See,” I held out a photo for them to see. “Here’s a picture of my CROCS.”
“Mom! What’s that tiger doing in your shoe closet? He might hurt you!”
“That’s just a picture I found on the Internet. There is no tiger in my room.”
“We’d better go up and check.” Both cats jumped down, mewing comments at each other as they raced up the stairs. They want to protect me. I think it’s sweet.
Well, folks, it looks like we’ve put out enough foolishness for today. We all hope you stay cool and well and have a great week.
