If you’re not up to speed on what’s holding the Arizona audit back from completion at this time (they were supposed to be done May 14 and they’re 1/10 finished) you need to listen to this clip from this auditor to get the back story on the Bamboo Caper.
QAnon might end up being the moderate wing of the Republican Party https://t.co/SLl2nmB1fB
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) May 5, 2021
That led an AZ Central columnist, Laurie Roberts, to write to the Justice Department, asking them to “protect our ballots from whatever the heck is going on.”
And so amateur sleuths in this official state audit are now using UV lights and 5K cameras to check for bamboo. Because if bamboo is found in those ballots then aHA! Enter: China. Or possibly, North Korea.Never mind the fact that not all paper produced in Asia contains bamboo or that not all paper that contains bamboo is produced in Asia. Or that this is INSANE.
Then she went on Chris Hayes’ show and said,
Be assured this audit isn’t about bamboo. It’s about bamboozling the Republican base in believing that something nefarious happened here in Arizona, once upon a time a model for the nation in how we conduct elections. It’s about keeping the contributions flowing and the outrage boiling. It’s about accepting no result other than the result that they demand.
I actually had a reader today who suggested how we can cut right through this and get moving on given the fact that so few ballots have been counted and the clock is ticking. He suggested that we just import a couple of pandas from wherever they are. He said San Diego, but I don’t think they have them anymore. Import the pandas, throw the ballots on the floor, see which ones they eat, and then we’ll know.”
That is a suggestion of Solomon-like proportions and certainly would be as cogent or sane a procedure as anything else going on in the Madhouse On McDowell, as that venue has been referred to in the past, but never with such accuracy.
You know what’s a real drag? I don’t know what the QAnoners are going to do about this one: bamboo grows in Arizona. Damn. But maybe the pandas can figure it out. Maybe it’s like fine wine, a connoisseur can discern the difference between a foreign and a domestic bamboo. Ya spose?