Trump’s Lost His Fastball. His Schemes Are Falling Apart Before he Can Make Anything

How many times have you heard me say this? A con man’s first and best mark is always himself. And it’s true. I spent almost a decade in fraud prevention for the online behemoth Zappos.com.

And the first rule of being a con man is that they feel superior to the suckers. And the more successful they become, the more they convince themselves that they can do anything. Because as Fred Trump told his idiot monkey spawn. Everybody else is suckers.

To be sure Trump had a good long run with his real estate con. But now it’s over. Last year a Manhattan jury found his company guilty of fraud. And the New York State Attorney general obtained a civil judgement against Traitor Tot and his company for fraud, leaving him facing a potential $454 million fine, and the loss of his license to work in real estate in New York State.

But as any con man knows, when a well runs dry, you pull up stakes and drill a new well. And being a con man to his soul, Trump already has another well being drilled, and has a second one waiting for the drilling equipment to arrive.

Here’s the first well. In a fit of pique after being bounced from almost every online platform there is, Traitor Tot created his own platform, Bullsh*t Social. And it went about as well as you’d expect from a dude who can’t even sign into his own e-mail.

Like everything El Pendejo ex Presidente does, he hired it out on the cheap. My youngest daughter is a front-end developer, and she could have done a better job, but she probably cost too much. It went about as well as you’d expect from a Trump boondoggle. The site crashed on opening, people couldn’t post, and error messages were about as common as cheap ads.

There were times when online media experts predicted that Bullsh*t Social had less that 45 days of liquidity left before it would be forced to shut down. So Traitor Tot did what he always does. He pumped in enough cash to keep it wheezing along, and found a sucker to unload it on.

Which he did. He used his persona and his con man skills to convince a consortium to take the company public on the New York Stock Exchange, which is almost never done with a failing company, since the opening share price would be about the equivalent of a Haitian penny stick.

But he pulled it off. Based on the sheer force of Trump’s will, along with his branding name, Trump got a seat on the board, as well as an obscene number of shares of stock to commensurate with his position. Suddenly Trump’s $454 million judgement didn’t seem so daunting.

But unfortunately for Trump, the professionals in the stock market were not about to get the wool pulled over their eyes by a clownish poltroon like Trump. They surrounded his profligate stock options with a ring of barbed wire and land mines, including a six-month moratorium on his ability to access those shares of stock in order to sell them.

And now the six months are almost over, and His Lowness is ready to cash in. It is reported that if El Pendejo ex Presidente were to sell his stock in one bloc, he would net somewhere around $1.8 billion. Of course, if Trump were to dump all that stock at one time, it would tank the stock price. But what does Traitor Tot care? After all, he got his.

But there’s one small problem. After the initial public offering, the stock hit a high of about $46 a share. But since then the shares have gone steadily downhill like a kid on a Helter Skelter. twice there were massive infusions of new buyers to keep the stock from collapsing. At least keep it afloat long enough for The Cheeto Prophet to cash in.

But not so fast, buckaroo. Another of the strands of barbed wire around Trump’s shares was a codicil that Il Douche can’t sell his shares if they fall below $12 a share. And at the closing bell today at the NYSE, Trump’s shares were selling at $16.12 a share. If more rich sh*tpokes don’t swoop in with another share buy order to save the day, it is highly unlikely that Trump will be able to cash in.

So, there’s another hole that may turn out to be a dry well. But like any con man, Trump wants more than one stew on the fire. And if you’ve got all of those little stews on the fire, then you have to be there to keep stirring all of those little stews. And the Pampers President can’t even figure out how to stir his own coffee. Or should that be Covfefe?

But The Mango Messiah just announced that he’s creating a new crypto coin platform. Which is ridiculous on its face. You can take everything Traitor Tot knows about crypto currency, put it on the head of a pin, and still have room for what he knows about nuclear proliferation. For God’s sake, the imbecile couldn’t even get a social media platform up and running, with no fiduciary content!

And he’s coming under unexpected, at least for him, resistance. God knows the crypto kings loved Traitor Tot when he loved them, when he was railing against the federal government imposing any kind of federal regulations to the septic mosh pit that is crypto currency. But these dudes know full well that having a brainless moron like Trump stomping around in their shop will guarantee federal regulation. So they’re all belatedly up on their hind legs to keep His Lowness out of their playground.

But they’re all missing the point. For Trump it’s not about actually operating a crypto currency platform. For Trump it’s all about putting together a convincing enough con to get to the Initial Public Offering stage for this Rube Goldberg contraption. Because that’s where the money is! Get this financial wet dream to a public offering, and once again you’re going to have seat on the board, and an obscene stock option pile. And who really cares what happens to it after that, as long as it limps along long enough for Traitor tot to cash out with a pile of money for absolutely no financial outlay of his own.

It’s just another scam. But unfortunately for Trump, unlike running a sham website, only answerable to the SEC once it went public, if El Pendejo ex Presidente tries to set up a crypto currency exchange, that is also going to come under the supervision of the Treasury Department.  And they’re highly like to be a helluva lot more stringent on his plans than the SEC.

Never forget one simple thing. Trump is, at his soul a con man. And as such, anything not directly related to the campaign, although that too is a long-term con, is a shorter-term con constructed for no other reason than to make Il Douche some fast, dirty cash. Now you know the nature of the beast.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.