Oh, sometimes life among the stupid can be sooo satisfying. Late last week, I almost lost my Diet Coke through my nose then Emperor Numbus Nuttus stomped over to the press gaggle at his Irish putt-putt golf resort and started in;

What’s happening in New York is an embarrassment! And now I’m going home from vacation early, I don’t have to, but I choose to, and confront that horrible, horrible woman over all of her lies and false accusations.

God I hate it when you get carbonation bubbles in your nasal passages! Fortunately I force swallowed and choked instead. But I wasn’t the only one. Pretty much anybody who either covers and knows Trump, or anybody who ever passed the bar couldn’t help but roll their eyes and think to themselves, and think What total bullsh*t! 

Trump’s Roy Cohn wanna be, Joe Tacopeanuts immediately told the court that Trump wouldn’t be testifying. The judge, wanting to shut off a possible avenue for appeal, gave Traitor Tot until 5pm Sunday night to make an official decision. which has now passed.

There is no way that Trump shows up on Monday to testify. First of all, he is the world’s worst witness, completely untethered from truth and reality. But second, on cross examination he’d have to confront the inconsistencies in his deposition testimony and the Access Hollywood video. Tacopeewee didn’t even have an answer to that one on cross.

The ploy was pathetically transparent. As I wrote last week, the Carroll lawyers are spending the weekend painstakingly preparing for likely the single most important closing argument of their career. They’re shooting at the King. And the absolute best that FrankenTrump could hope for with that bargain basement threat was to make the Carroll team split their attention between preparing for the closing arguments, and preparing for a possible Trump cross examination on Monday or Tuesday. Fortunately it appears to me that Trump has already cornered the market on legal imbeciles. I doubt they gave it a second thought.

But you can bet your *ss that the majority of the jury has heard about Trump’s threat/promise. Jurors swear not to watch or listen or read news about the case, but they don’t live in a bubble. What is a juror is out at the mall and hears one woman tell her friend, Did you hear! Trump is coming back to New York to testify on Monday! Or another juror gets an innocent text from a friend reading, Holy Cow! You’re going to see Trump on the stand on Monday! In the real world, in high profile cases, this kind of sh*t tends to filter down to the jury by osmosis.

So now, on Monday at least some of those jurors are expecting to see El Pendejo Presidente waddle into court and sit on the witness stand. And when His Lowness doesn’t show up, they’re going to be pissed. because from where they’re sitting, the way this trial has gone, Trump has a Titanic size boatload of explaining to do.

Let’s keep it simple. Let’s say Teri slaps me for clipping her across the chops one night during an argument. She doesn’t call the cops because she doesn’t want to make trouble. But she tearfully testifies about the slap, and her shock and emotional trauma. Two friends from work take the stand, and testify that she tearfully told them about the incident at work the next day. A psychologist takes the stand to testify that her actions and reactions are perfectly normal under her physical and emotional trauma.

My emotionally powerful legal argument? It never happened. She’s been on my last nerve for months now. I told her it was over, and she threw a sh*t fit. Why would I waste good time after bad? But here’s the McGuffin. I not only don’t testify, I don’t even bother to show up in court! Every word comes from my lawyer in arguments and cross examination questions. Who is the jury going to believe?

This is pure speculation, but it makes sense to me. Trump’s handlers have always say he won’t be back in the US until Thursday. Perfect sense. And the Secret Service can mask his travel arrangements. The way I see it, as one sided as this trial has been reported to be, especially with the legal skills of Joe TacoBell, if the closing arguments are tomorrow, I wouldn’t be surprised if the jury slaps Trump down on Tuesday. The newly crowned rapist can slink back under cover of darkness, and immediately go into hiding so he can vent his spleen on Bullsh*t Social, his chosen outlet, chickensh*t that he is. Don’t touch that dial.

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  1. I can see him showing up at the courthouse tomorrow and trying to get in, because he thinks it’s all about him.

    • And he can get in, and sit at the defense table, but he’ll NEVER raise his hand and take that oath…And that’s what the jury wants…

      • It would be another insanely stupid move for him to show up and sit at the defense table. When under attack he simply can’t hide his emotions. He MIGHT be able to restrain himself from verbal outbursts but his contempt, his rage, his whiny “why do they hate me? and a manner of different emotions will radiate from him so intensely the jury won’t be able to help noticing it. And I believe in juries and that while there have of course been exceptions throughout history for the most part they take their duties seriously. That they will make a good faith effort to set aside biases and judge the case on the evidence admitted and in accordance with the law which the judge will explain to them. And, as sometimes happens if at some point they aren’t sure they’ll send a note to the judge asking for guidance to ensure they get things right. You know. You’ve been on a jury.

        Trump didn’t appear on the stand but they’ve seen his deposition and they got to see Carroll live and in person. They already have all they need admitted into evidence to weigh who is more credible. And so I say again Trump sitting there making faces, proverbially blowing steam out of his ears and possibly turning red despite an extra layer of orange whatever the hell he puts on is the worst thing that could happen at this point. The sullen, uncooperative and insulting Trump in the deposition is his BEST side. Maybe if he wants to come out of hiding and show up his Secret Service detail will protect him from himself.

  2. cCarbonation bubbles in your nasal passages???
    Tut-tut – you shouldn’t sniff coke. Be thankful the ring pull didn’t end up jammed in your nostril LOL

    • It’s a CIVIL trial. It is NOT about the rape itself; it’s been about Carroll’s suing Trump for defamation. The rape, by and large, has been largely incidental in the case.

      As far as the jury’s doing anything about those “taxpayer funded entitlements,” no, they can’t. For those matters to be dealt with, it’s up to Congress. And since it’s a civil case, it likely wouldn’t be sufficient for Congress to intervene. If someone were to accuse Trump of raping them recently and a criminal case and trial were to proceed and find Trump guilty beyond ANY doubt (not just “reasonable”), then the Congress would most likely have cause to strip Trump of all privileges afforded to former Presidents. (I’m thinking not even Trump’s most ardent supporters in Congress could prevent those privileges from being removed–unless they want to explain why a convicted criminal/rapist is being funded by the taxpayers.)


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