Hola bunkies! How are y’all doing, feeling pretty good? Yeah, me too. In fact right now, I’m currently at 30,999 feet and still climbing.
I kept my word. I didn’t think that I was going to, but I did. When I woke up for a kidney check, the clock read 5:37 AM. The first word that came to my mind was, Shit! El Pendejo Presidente was supposed to waddle out of town from Joint Base Andrews at 8, and it was already after 8:30. I went out into the living room and turned the television on anyway.
I needn’t have worried. Donald Trump has never been on time for anything in his life, he was probably late for his own birth. The sky cam atop the Washington Monument was still tracking Marine 1 on the short hop from the White House to Andrews.
I have written frequently and at length about Trump’s lifelong love affair with cheap, gaudy schlock and glitz. Being a gauche, snotty little nouveau riche, Trump mistook schmaltrz and glitz for glitter and opulence. And he wanted his send off from Andrews to be a militaristic pinnacle of schlock and glitz.
Nuh-uh. didn’t happen. Not even close. Just remember Trump’s basic requirements for his glorious departure. A red carpet. A multi service honor guard. A full military band. A 21 gun salute. And a military jet flyover. Not much to ask for after four years of abysmal failure, and 400,000 dead.
Will wonders never cease? Trump pretty much went 0-everything. No red carpet, no military band. Or color guard. and no military jet flyover. However the JCS did decide to throw Trump a puny bone, and dragged out a couple of military surplus field cannons to fire off two rounds each as he got off of Marine 1. Pretty thin gruel for a retiring third world dictator.
But it gets even worse. You remember me writing yesterday about how the White House was sending out incitation to the send off left and right, even to sworn enemies, and pushing each attendee to bring up to 5 guests? Nothing says dinky crowd like inviting people to bring freeloaders. But in reality, I’m guessing that you could tally up the crowd on the back of a business card, with a pencil and chicken scratches.
But it had to be truly pathetic, simply because the whole goddamned thing was so carefully staged. I am 100% certain that news network crews were not allowed access to the event. Simply because the camera angles were perfected to never once show the crowd. The White House press shop had to be the ones broadcasting the feed to the media. There was a tight shot of Trump and Melania exiting Marine 1, and him hugging his children. There was another tight shot of him shaking hands with military officers, and another tight angle following him as he walked to the small stage. For the entire time he spoke, the only camera was a head on shot, from an elevated camera above the handful of blockheads. The only way you even knew that there was an audience was from scattered clapping and yelling, and the occasional top of the head, or waving arm that entered the picture.
After four long, painful, deadly years, the only thing that Donald trump managed to accomplish was to come full circle. He began his wasted presidency by lying about his crowd size, and if he mentions this half packed phone booth, hell be lying about that too. Good riddance to bad garbage.
And just a quick aside to my dear friend Ursula Faw. Have a little faith, will ya girlfriend? On the stage today, Trump swore that he would return in some form. And personally, I believe him. Having failed to self pardon, the form he’ll return in will be as a criminal defendant in federal criminal court. And hell, that’s the only promise I ever wanted him to keep anyway.
If you enjoyed this article, you might also like to check out President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange . They comprise a pretty much daily report from the front of the 2016 GOP primaries, as well as the general election
Follow me on Twitter at @RealMurfster35
Trump who? I don’t think I recognize the name.
400,000 families will never be able to forget his name.
I chose not to watch because I didn’t want to see his stupid face today, lol. Today is the first day of the rest of my life not ever feeling compelled to think about him if I don’t want to.
I listened to radio. They carried his remarks. For some reason they go out of way to give more air time to Republican talking points. Not even both sides. More of one side. Yeah. Oh well.
I look forward to never hearing his pouty, whiny, nasal voice ever again.
Being out east I was watching coverage before 8am my time, despite not much sleep last night, or the past few for that matter. It occurred to me that I’d have enough warm fuzzies today to tolerate spending some time watching Fox, and while much more time prior to ten am or so was spent on MSNBC I did spend some time seeing what Fox was showing. There were of course some digs at Biden but much less than I expected and not too sharp-elbowed. There was even some mild tut-tutting of Trump himself! But to your point about the crowd size the “crowd” on the south lawn was the media. I guess none of the handful of Trump WH staffers left that morning, and certainly not any of the permanent WH staff (the ones who keep the place up and tend to the President and visitors) could be bothered to show up. Fox had some slightly different camera shots than MSNBC and what struck me was at times as I switched back & forth they showed a tighter look at Trump and “Melanie” including as they exited the WH. FOR THE LAST TIME! (Imagine my fat ass trying to dance like Snoopy in the Christmas Special to that music) Trump was clearly a very, very unhappy camper and I swear he grimaced.
As for Andrews, I wondered ahead of time if his staff would as they did with rallies limit the camera views to make it seem like an event was packed when in reality it wasn’t. (I’m sure the media tried to get views from behind Trump and were blocked – talk about misuse of the Secret Service!) I saw when they started letting folks on to the tarmac to see the inglorious bleater and while there was an initial rush they cut away rather quickly. Later, although the shot was from behind the crowd zooming in and out with the latter showing a wider angle than I think Trump will be happy about it seemed to me as though he had perhaps 300 people. Maybe a little more but if he was hoping for a big crowd, say thousands he didn’t even get a thousand despite all his begging. Not even anywhere near half that!
What surprised me was that he was as on time as he was. And that he kept his remarks pretty short. THAT was my big surprise for the day but in retrospect I think it reinforces that the “crowd” was far, far less than what he was expecting and he was fighting not to show how deflated he was. Or maybe angry. It’s easy for me to imagine him petulantly delaying his departure from the WH. Shouting demands for a bunch of people in the WH to be rounded up and ordered out on to the lawn (with the Secret Service aiming guns at them if that’s what it took) and aides lying to him about the “bigly” huge crowd that would be there at Andrews to see him off. If that’s how they coaxed him out to the helicopter (looking at Marine One I had a flashback fantasy of altering history and that dickhead Col. that blocked me from OCS and becoming a Naval Aviator had done what the selection panel recommended but that’s a long story) and how pissed Trump was when he got to Andrews to find out they’d lied to him. Maybe that’s why he behaved (for him) with his remarks, a short mishmash of lies about how awesome he’d been as President and then straight to the plane. He just wanted to end the humiliation and get out of town. In the most literal sense.
It’s also funny as to how quickly once he an his evil spawn were aboard and the engines spooled up and that sucker got to taxiing to the runway. I think the Air Force crew couldn’t wait to dump Trump in FL. I’ve seen a lot of departures of AF-! from Andrews and I’m sure I’ve NEVER seen it fire up and take off so quickly! It was wheels up several minutes before 9am and out of DC airspace. I’d be willing to bet that the flight crew had told the cabin crew it would be the fastest departure ever, and that they (the flight crew) had run their take-off checklist over and over starting the moment they got word the rotors on Marine One were spinning on the WH lawn and Trump was on his way. I swear it seemed like only a minute (two at most) from the time the doors closed until they had the engines spooling up. I wonder what was going through Trump’s and his family’s minds at hearing the “please fasten your seat belts for departure” so quickly! If some feelings were ruffled by the cabin crew (all Air Force btw) almost shoving them all to their seats with a “What are you going to do – try and have me Court Martialed?” attitude. I hope so.
Btw, last night I indicated that like you I’d be doing a double middle finger at my TV and then some as the jet rolled down the runway and rotated into the air. I most certainly did just what I said I’d do. I shouted so loudly (lots of cussing to GTF out of town type stuff) I started to worry the couple in the next apartment might call the office and make a noise complaint. Then I realized the office is closed on Wednesdays. Oh, and in the TMI category nature provided a unique opportunity for a special twist as I mooned the TV. Let’s just say my tummy had been rumbling and at that part of the morning I might have passed an audition for the campfire scene in Blazing Saddles. Now I couldn’t let THAT opportunity pass! Talk about a perfect ending to Trump’s departure! Sometimes things just work out. (pun intended)
I eventually realised that the reason he left an hour before the inauguration was that he was still technically president and that (a) he could have the band playing ‘hail to the cheese’ but mainly that he didn’t have to ask Joe Biden if he could use Air Force One. After one minute past noon he has to pay for his own air fare.
Long four years, Murf…and we got a smoking ruin to clean up. But he’s gone…and today of all days, that’s all that matters. Won’t undo the damage but the bleeding has finally stopped.
….”a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.” Shakespeare “Macbeth”
Murf, sweetie, you’re on a roll today!