The @$$hat In The MAGA Hat


Definition of asshat (from the online slang dictionary):
•       pejorative metaphoric adjective; refers to those who have their heads up their asses – metaphorically speaking; as in short sighted, dimwitted or asinine or self-absorbed persons

“That selfish asshat doesn’t give a damn about anyone but himself.”

A friend recently wrote in an email about being worn down by the daily outrages produced by a certain (toxic) orange hued human shaped rectum who happens to be the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in DC.    I have to admit it can wear a person down, and I decided to devote a bit of effort to coming up with a phrase to inject a little humor to lift the spirit enough to rejoin the fight.   Others have come up with some catchy names to define Trump including recently.   We have George Conway aka Mr. Kellyanne “alternative facts” Conway reviving #Deranged Donald” on twitter.  A blogger named triumph110 reported on a lady he encountered via work dubbing Trump the “Comb Over Clown.”   Being a bald guy who never sweated that particular hand dealt to me by genes/mother nature I got a helluva kick out of that one!    Still, I wanted to find a descriptor that had some sarcastic humor, one that captured the essence of how bad Trump actually is when the term “ass hat” popped into my head.   I was thinking about a character I was watching in a movie on TV last week when inspiration struck because I was also browsing news online during commercials and saw a picture of some goober wearing one of those freaking MAGA hats.   Since Trump is the “MAGAt in chief and wears the damned things himself it hit me:

Trump is an asshat.

Trump likes to wear his stupid MAGA hat.

Trump is an asshat wearing a MAGA hat!

Try saying it out loud.   I’m no Dr. Seuss (I wish!) but IMHO it rolls off the tongue.

Perhaps as I age my opinion of my creativity & humor borders on delusions of grandeur, or maybe I’m just getting crazier or even psychotic but I figured others might get a kick out of my little exercise in insulting word play so I figured what the hell — there are folks that read my stuff so why not toss it out here & some other places and maybe get some laughs.   Or maybe humiliated.   Whatever.

Getting serious for a minute, I’ve always been bugged by the whole MAGA acronym.   To me it’s dull, lame and in many contexts and on the heads of some of those who wear the stupid hats kind of evokes a mixture a redneckery & bigotry.   It’s just flat out ugly — at least to me.   Alas we have moved past the sound byte/bumper sticker era into the not always wonderful world of social media in which texting (another round of “”ugh!” from this old fart — people sitting in the same room & even next to each other texting instead of talking?  WFT?)  is integral to freaking Twitter and variations where people speak in abbreviations as much as possible.    So a dull intellect (I’m being uncharacteristically generous here) rattling around in the space between Trump’s ears came up with MAGA.   It’s such a dull, even ugly thing both in it’s conception and it’s use politically that I’m sure Trump came up with it as a “brand” for his campaign.    Check out the definition above — He IS an ass hat.    If the definition at the top doesn’t float your boat here’s the first item that came up in the search engine I use:


ass-hat (noun)
1.      a stupid or contemptible person.
idiot • ass • halfwit • nincompoop • blockhead • buffoon • dunce • dolt • ignoramus • cretin • imbecile • dullard • moron • simpleton • clod • dope • ninny • chump • dimwit • nitwit •

Trump is most definitely an Ass Hat, and he likes to wear his stupid ugly MAGA Hats.   Say it with me again now — Trump is an ass-hat who wears a MAGA Hat!

For me the best part is that we can say the same thing about all the goobers and gooberettes out there in Trump World that wear those stupid ass hats, or plaster MAGA on bumper stickers or on T-shirts of “covfefe” mugs (IOW the shit Trump sells them at huge markups on his friggin campaign website) — especially the ones who like to say it as an insult to non-white folks.

Bottom line, anyone from Trump on down who wears those stupid hats is an ass hat wearing a MAGA hat!

Added to my list of political fantasies is that this phrase would become popular.   Visions of pictures of Trump, or groups of his supporters with this slogan as the caption trending on social media dance in my head.    And the more the ass hats howl in protest, the bigger the smile on my face will get!

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  1. It can be made to be Seussian

    He has a hat,
    that’s full of scat,
    and racism begat,
    because he’s a prat

    He is an ass,
    cause he’s so crass,
    so full of gas,
    a crass ass mass.

    A fat autocrat,
    with maga brickbrat,
    and inane tweet chat
    A truly crass autocrat asshat.

    It needs work, but you see where I was going with the homage.

  2. “Fat Donnie” wears the hat because no amount of hairspray can hold that ridiculous comb-over in place out doors.

    I personally like the red MAGA hats. When I see someone wearing one, I know not to waste my time interacting with them as if they were sentient beings.

    • Oh they are sentient. But then so is a brain damaged snake or alligator. There are some who are perhaps at the intellectual level of a brain damaged wild bison – possible to train but very difficult and any effort to do so should be carefully considered before undertaken.

      • As a long-time trainer of non-human individuals (and successful alligator farmer) please take what you will from my experience: what that asshat (that’s a nod to your diary; I’ve been promoting “that idiot traffic cone”) currently occupying the Oval Office possesses is merely low, animal cunning, his GOP enablers likewise.
        IMO, the fatal mistake we make in dealing with these individuals is our assumption they are, at least, rational beings capable of human intelligence.
        Put it this way, were we to deal with the MAGA acolytes like we do termites or a virulent flu bug or an invasion of rabid coyotes, we’d make significant progress stamping that shit out.

        • You’re taking me back more decades than I care to remember – all the way back to college where my field of study was psychology so I of course learned about and had practical lab training on Operant Conditioning. Lower animals can as you have pointed out be trained via systems of rewards and punishments or a combination of both. Even some of the more cunning ones. The average conservative has I believed undergone years/decades of a form of conditioning; so much so that for many it can’t be undone.

  3. One thing about my piece – in retrospect when it comes to rednecks having known so many I can assure readers not all of them fit the stereotype – for example the video blogger The Liberal Redneck” has a lot of fellow rednecks who enjoy hearing & agree with his views. I don’t know I can edit in that qualifier on this site since this function is new, but I’ll put it up elsewhere later and maybe fix that part a bit. Or maybe not as there are so many of the stereotypical ones in Trump country like the place I grew up.

    • I’ve had my share of enjoyable moments making fun of Trump’s. Being bald myself (I have an avatar on another site that’s actually me in the pic – with my shiny “chrome dome”) and knowing all along I’d wind up that way I never stressed over it. I sometimes find it amusing, sometimes sad and sometimes a bit of both the lengths so many guys go to trying to hide baldness. But for an ass hat like Trump the urge to poke fun at that duckass hairdo is one I’m powerless to resist. One of my DIs from times so long ago could thrash me to the point of passing out and I’d still be laughing at Trump’s pathetic attempt to hide the fact he’s BALD!

      • I’ve seen your avatar on that other site which will go unmentioned here…….when they started banning people for simply agreeing with a post they didn’t like was enough for me….that and Ursula’s unwarranted banning…..I don’t get into the whole thought police thing……

        It is their site, they pay the bills, and they can run it anyway they want, but I don’t have to be a part of it, and that is why I don’t go there anymore.

        That’s the point the Asshat in Chief missed on his tirade against Facebook, (of which I am no fan), when they banned his fellow right wing asshats.

        *gets down off of soapbox*

        My favorite “balding” product is the spray on hair in can, the perfect stocking stuffer or party favor 🙂


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