I don’t know what this guy Douglas Frank knows about science, but he damn sure doesn’t know anything about law. If what he says is true, he’s confessing that Mike Lindell hired Erik Prince-type mercenaries to commit felony burglary by breaking into “computer facilities” — what? Dominion and Smartmatic? — and he’s also incriminating himself as an accessory after the fact. Jesus take the wheel.


I think Lindell’s efforts are probably closer to Airplane! or Police Story than to Mission Impossible, if we are to judge from the quality of his three mockumentaries.

This guy Frank just makes it all up out of whole cloth. PolitiFact did a piece on Frank’s hyperbolic claim that he had discovered a “key” which “unlocks the door and uncovers the ability to manipulate data and results” from a “sixth degree polynomial.” What’s that you say? It sounds like Aleister Crowley meets the Twilight Zone? How right you are.

Antrim County, Michigan, the site of a human error that briefly produced inaccurate unofficial results on election night in November, remains the target of a misinformation effort that aims to sow doubt about the integrity of the 2020 election.

A resident’s lawsuit against the county, filed in late November, helped fuel a debunked conspiracy theory that tabulators made by Dominion Voting Systems switched votes on behalf of Joe Biden. Donald Trump seized upon an analysis filed in the suit that was rife with inaccurate information to advance his claims of a stolen election. A hand recount of every ballot cast in Antrim County affirmed the results and Trump’s victory there.

Now, a new filing in the case claims a more far-reaching conspiracy, one in which the state government purportedly deployed a predetermined “key” to mathematically “convert” records of registered voters into counted votes.

The filing cites an analysis by Douglas Frank, who chairs the math and science department at a school in Cincinnati, that claims to have discovered that Michigan and other battleground states each used a unique key.

The filing defines the alleged “key” as a “sixth degree polynomial” that “unlocks the door and uncovers the ability to manipulate data and results.”

Frank’s analysis was filed as an exhibit in the case, and he explains his findings in a YouTube video that has received over 26,000 views. Frank says his work shows that “elections are being decided at the state level.”

How? “Ballots are being harvested at the precinct level, regulated at the county level, and determined at the state level,” he claims.

In an interview with MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell, who has peddled disinformation about the election, Frank says he found algorithms were used in every state he’s analyzed to regulate voter registrations and ballots and control the election.

The filings were submitted by Matthew DePerno, the lawyer for the Antrim County resident, who is accusing the county of mishandling the results on a marijuana-related proposal that was also on the November ballot.

Frank’s bat guano analysis is predicated on the fact that there is something abnormal about all the people who registered to vote in 2020, some of them at the last minute. He admits his analysis of turnout and ballots cast counts only people registered by October. That doesn’t allow for last minute registrations, conditional registrations or same day registration, which exists in nineteen states and the District of Columbia. He calls those ballots “unregistered ballots,” and alleges that they were “injected” at the last minute.

Likewise, he decries mail-in ballots, which is where Donald Trump started throwing shade early on before the election because it was common knowledge that there would be a “red mirage” election night and when mail-in ballots were counted — in a pandemic crisis, don’t forget — there would be a lot of changes.

And elections being decided by mail-in votes is nothing new under the sun, but the Big Lie proponents are using it as a cudgel, because they would rather tear democracy apart than simply admit that the Mango Monarch lost and it’s time to move on.

But Lindell and crew persist. Here’s a little mood music.


Karl Rove said it would take “a conspiracy of James Bond movie proportions” to steal the election and that is apparently exactly what these people believe in.

Help keep the site running, consider supporting.


  1. You know this most science fiction thing I ever saw on the original Mission Impossible TV show? A trained cat that could steal jewelry. That’s STILL more reality-based than THIS.

    • You know old sci fi well. What is a Twilight Zone episode where the aliens are setting up the earthlings to fight amongst themselves so that they can take over the planet without a hassle? Somebody mentioned on Twitter that such a thing exists but didn’t know the name of the episode. I don’t remember it.

      • The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street is the name, downright chilling in its potent dissection of human paranoia and prejudice in action. Less famous but just as potent a TZ episode is The Shelter, which compresses the same concept down to a group of neighbors fighting to bust into their street’s only fallout shelter during a nuclear crisis.

      • For Christians (normal, sane ones) that know a lot about the details a good case can be made for Trump being the anti-Christ – a version of the Devil here on earth to create chaos and pave the way for making this world his dominion. If you think about it that way, then Stephen King’s book Needful Things comes to mind. The Devil taking on different names & going from town to town and suckering people into selling their souls (without them realizing it of course) and getting a prize possession in exchange for playing dirty tricks on neighbors, especially those they don’t like and/or see as rivals. In Trump’s case it’s not people souls he’s after but their usefulness in either giving him money directly or helping to shovel money into his bank account. The destroyed people (tormented souls) are just a bonus to him.

        • I’m sorry but the anti-Christ thing has NEVER worked for me when it comes to Trump. Mussolini is the better example always, an unthinking brute who eventually painted himself into a corner.

          • I don’t disagree with you but I imagine you’d agree that far too many people are (sadly) ignorant of even fairly recent history. But they sadly remember (or think they do) their freaking bibles. As you probably know I’m not a person of faith and haven’t been for decades. However I’m in the minority both in this country and many others including those with some form of democratic government. I also am sure you’ve noticed we are getting more conservatives commenting here which means there are probably a lot more who only drop by but don’t engage in comments, much less submitting an article for the Community Section. And there are plenty of progressives (or liberals – pick your term) who are also people of faith. That’s why, even if there’s a real historical figure unfit for Office that glommed on to power and used that power destructively I often choose (as I did here) to go with the anti-Christ theme. Hell, it seems as though there’s an increasing number of goobers out there that don’t just think but SAY that Trump is the second coming of Jeebus! Given all that I hope you’ll forgive me for trying to communicate my point using an example people of faith are more likely to pay attention to.

  2. Confessing to felonies makes sense when you think about it. Idiots like this either think Trump is still President or that due to their “heroics” he will be again soon and will pardon them. It’s mind bending (lack of) logic to be sure but these folks aren’t playing with a full deck.

  3. I always thought a sixth degree polynomial was a pure mathematical function and had absolutely no relationn to computer code but, hey, if the pillow told him it was a key, who are we mere mortals to argue with the almighty pillow

    I wonder if it’s a Yale key?

    • You’re probably closer to truth that these guys are.
      For those who don’t know, it would be something like ax**6 + bx**5 + cx**4 +dx**3 + ex**2 + fx + g, and if it takes that to fit your curve, maybe you’re overcomplicating your analysis and should rethink what you’re doing.

  4. I’m so tired from staying up at night watching to catch the gnomes stealing my underwear, I can’t make sense of the tenuous synaptic connections of the pillow guy. Maybe if I send him a message, explaing my issues, I can get a free pillow.

    • Scot Atlas is an MD who didn’t just specialize in neurology, but more specifically reading brain and spine scans. But he said shit on Trump’s magic tee vee box that the human shaped flaming orange rectum liked and got put in charge of Covid stuff for the prior administration – and “as an MD” promoted his bullshit let-everyone-catch-it-and-we’ll-have-heard-immmunity with few deaths and no damage to the economy or health care system. Basically, the dudes MD but more importantly his career experience provided him ZERO fucking knowledge, much less expertise in either infectious diseases, epidemiology or public health policy. What I’m driving at is that expertise in one area doesn’t necessarily translate to other fields. Physics requires high level math skills to be sure, but those skills are used in VERY different ways than the skills those who do statistical analyses of things that involved human interactions and behavior. In fact, it’s typical of those in the “hard sciences” to be downright contemptuous of those who deal in “soft sciences” like human behavior and why people hold certain beliefs or vote the way they do. And there’s an entire field of people who do statistical analyses of voter preferences, which includes a team at good ole Fox News. Turns out that they know their shit and were the first to call AZ for Biden and their projection turned out to be pretty much spot on as confirmed by THREE deep dive audits/recounts done by people who actually were experienced in doing that kind of stuff.

      Your Dr. Douglas Frank is way outside his lane so to speak. Using his doctorate to sell his slinging of bullshit will discredit him in his own field since he’s obviously willing not just to cook the books to justify his conclusions but do so publicly. He’s maybe got tenure so he can’t be fired, but I suspect he’s going to have plenty of trouble finding grant money to continue his work. And Fox has enough problems they can’t offer fat contracts to all the conservatives out there willing to take their heads out of Trump’s ass long enough to parrot some more of HIS odious bullshit!

  5. Hello! I’ve been following your blog for some time
    now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you
    a shout out from Porter Texas! Just wanted to tell you keep up the great


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

The maximum upload file size: 128 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video, document, spreadsheet, interactive, text, archive, code, other. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here