Junior Visits Greenland While Daddy Challenges Denmark’s Legal Rights

If you haven’t been keeping up on the Greenland subplot of Trump 2.0, the batshit reality TV show that we are all inextricably caught up in from now until 2028 — or until death us do part from Trump, either his, yours or mine, maybe all of us — you missed a totally whack-a-mole display going on in Greenland. And Trump here at home was talking about it, incomprehensibly, as well. To begin with, Trump sent Junior, Charlie Kirk, and a few other representatives to meet with the regular folks of Greenland, whom Trump would have you believe are begging him, (yes, big strong men with tears in their eyes) to take over their country and keep them safe. (Think of Rock A My Soul In the Bosom Of Abraham, with Donald Trump substituted for Abraham and you’ve got it.) These are the real stories of the day, not Mad Magazine. They’re out of business, understandably:

Trump gave an insane press conference today as he continued to threaten and insult our closest friends and allies. The purpose of the press conference was ostensibly to announce that Dubai businessman Hussain Sajwani, chairman of Dubai-based developer Damac Properties, is investing $20 billion in the U.S. for new data centers.

… But then the questions began, and Trump started off by talking about seizing Greenland: “People really don’t even know if Denmark has any legal right to it. But if they do, they should he give it up because we need it for national security.”

… When asked if he could assure the world that he will not resort to using military force to seize Greenland or the Panama Canal, Trump responded: “No. I can’t assure you on either of those two.”

… He then said this about the Gulf of Mexico: “We’re going to be changing the name to the Gulf of America. Which has a beautiful ring to it. What a beautiful name. And it’s appropriate.”

… Then on to Canada: “They rely on our military. It’s all fine, but they gotta pay for that.” He was then asked if he would use military force to invade Canada just like he said he might do with Panama and Greenland: “No. Economic force. Canada and the US together. That would be something. You get rid of that artificially drawn line and take a look at what that looks like.”

… Trump then said that Canada is basically useless to the US: “We don’t need their cars. They make 20% of our cars, we don’t need that. We don’t need their lumber. We don’t need their milk. We don’t need anything they have. They should be a state, that’s what I told Trudeau when he came down.”

I would bet my bottom dollar Trump didn’t tell Trudeau that but then the rest of what Trump and his cohorts have said today doesn’t hold water either. This is free form lying, friends. This is Olympic-level, Oscar-level lying on steroids.

Justin Trudeau responded: “There isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that Canada would ever become part of the United States.”

… Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Melanie Joly: “His comments show a complete lack of understanding of what makes Canada a strong country. Our economy is strong. Our people are strong. We will never back down in the face of threats.”

… Marge Greene responded to Trump’s press conference by being the first sycophant to file a bill based on what he said. Her bill: “Any reference in a law, map, regulation, document, paper or other record of the US to the Gulf of Mexico shall be deemed to be a reference to the ‘Gulf of America.’ The Secretary of Commerce, acting through the Administrator of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, shall oversee the implementation of the renaming.”

… Meanwhile, Don Jr landed in Greenland this morning with Charlie Kirk on ‘Trump Force One’ where they had lunch with 10 people wearing MAGA hats who supposedly wanted the US to come and take over their territory. Trump also posted a video this morning of a man from Greenland wearing a MAGA hat who felt the same way. The man was convicted drug trafficker Timmy Zeeb, who has an extensive criminal history.

… Trump then posted: “Don Jr and my Reps landing in Greenland. The reception has been great. They, and the Free World, need safety, security, strength, and PEACE! This is a deal that must happen. MAGA. Make Greenland Great Again!”

… Trump called in to Junior’s phone and he was put on speaker in the Greenland restaurant. He explained to the 10 people there that it is important for the US to take over their land because “you see the people in the ships sailing around, and they’re not the right ships. So we need security. Our country needs it and the whole world because you’re so strategically located.”

Reporter: Are you considering military force to annex and acquire Canada?

Trump: Economic force… We don’t need anything they have. Why are we losing 200 billion and more to protect Canada? pic.twitter.com/f5n2cEFSth

— Acyn (@Acyn) January 7, 2025

Reporter: Can you assure the world that as you try to get control of Greenland and the Panama Canal, you are not going to use military or economic coercion?

Trump: No.. I can’t assure you on either of those two. pic.twitter.com/e6PvXcxDCi

— Acyn (@Acyn) January 7, 2025

Trump calls in and Junior puts him on speaker. He says we need to take over Greenland because there are “ships sailing around and they’re not the right ships.” pic.twitter.com/gFDJxpvMKf

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) January 7, 2025

This is our look in the world in the year of our Lord 2025, folks. America is a cartoon. America has a caricature of a human being playing a caricature of a politician and leader. He doesn’t play a president on TV, he plays one in the White House, for real and for keepsies. It is all one deranged, nonstop Kabuki theater show, exaggerated and overplayed.

And this is still the interregnum. Trump is the president-elect. Joe Biden still has the keys to the big house on the hill. This is important to bear in mind because while what Trump says is alarming, it doesn’t have the weight of the presidency behind it. In two weeks it will. Then shit will get real.

Here is a fact that a lot of people don’t seem to grasp: Trump has gotten one hell of lot crazier since he was in office the first time. It’s been a gradual slide, much like the proverbial boiling frogs. The temperature has gone up one notch at a time, until the frogs finally are in boiling water. This grotesque behavior of Trump’s is old school to us. We’re all totally burnt out. But to people in the world who were maybe not paying all that much attention to Trump before — like say, the 60,000 inhabitants of Greenland — this is Bizarro World. They don’t know what to make of it. And the Canadians, who are a decent and pacific race of people, probably more so than anybody in this world, are on the verge of getting to a level of diplomatic showdown with this fool-elect. What that will look like is beyond my ability to imagine but I see it coming in some form. Trump is a madman and if we won’t contain him, the rest of the civilized world will.

Trump is not up to a second term in office. He wasn’t up for the first term and now, this many years later, he’s a complete mess. This situation is going to get explosive and fast. Which one of these theaters of conflict that Trump is nurturing, we don’t know. But something is going to fly sky high and not too long after the Inauguration, is my guess. Trump is talking crazy and itchy for a fight. In his mind, he’s some indestructable gunslinger and this is the Old West.

Also bear in mind that the country is divided straight down the middle, and Trump’s *mandate* exists only in his mind. Put all these factors together and they spell “EXPLOSIVE.”

*******

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