Like Opening Day in Major League Baseball, The Masters, Golf’s first Major Championship each year is a Rite of Spring. The Augusta National has long been considered a cathedral in golf. Their slogan for the Masters is “A Tradition Unlike Any Other” and the members, golfers (and caddies) and even the ‘patrons’ (like the Navy August has its own lingo and fans are called patrons) carefully follow a strict code of conduct. Everyone is expected to display class and graciousness from the moment they set foot on the grounds. Especially during Masters week. Is it any wonder Trump is UN-welcome there? (Author’s note: The Masters with no apostrophe isn’t a typo)
So, even if golf bores the hell out of you I’ll say the same thing I say every year. Just turn on the TV and read or listen to music and just look at the screen. Extraordinary effort (and more than a little money) go into the flowering trees and shrubs being in full bloom during the week and the immaculately maintained course is a beautiful sight to behold. Only Pebble Beach with all those holes with their ocean views at what’s been called the most fortunate meeting of land and sea on earth rivals it. AND you won’t have to worry about Trump stomping around showing his ass. Nor will you hear him discussed – unless mother nature finally does her job and they have to announce he’s departed for hell’s version of Mar-a-Lago.
Just enjoy the fact that is just eats at Trump’s ego like toxic acid that he’s not running around (well, waddling – and no he wouldn’t be allowed to drive around in a golf cart) in one of those Green Jackets. Only August National members have them. And past champions, most of whom are honorary members only. A few have become bona fide members with full privileges but most past champions haven’t. Frankly, not that many pros have earned enough to be able to afford it! Trump never could either, at least until the breathtaking grifting that’s been a staple of his second term.
We all know about Trump’s obsession with getting prizes and honors he doesn’t merit. Most notable is the Nobel Peace Prize. He killed his chances years ago by publicly lobbying for it. It’s one of those things that, as 33rd Degree Masons told me after I became 32nd Degree that, even asking how to become one meant I never would be. Being such an avid golfer for so long Trump knew decades ago lobbying the members of Augusta National, even privately to be extended a membership was a huge no-no. Would he ever play there? Of course not. He couldn’t walk around the place. The hills on many of the holes are quite a bit steeper than they seem on TV and they look pretty steep even in 2-D. Plus his cheating would cause his membership to be revoked.
No, Trump only wants the privilege of hanging around the clubhouse wearing a green jacket. And trying to crash the Champion’s dinner. Maybe demanding to be an Honorary Starter. (There’s a revered tradition of past champions with multiple wins being invited to hit ceremonial drives from the first tee to kick off the tournament) But, as The Independent reports not only is Trump not a member, he never will be. It even quotes legendary swing coach Butch Harmon. Harmon’s father won the Masters and became pro at the legendary Winged Foot course in New York where Trump was a member. He’s known Trump all his life. Butch has taught a lot of the game’s elite players at one point in their careers so he’s as connected to the game and ‘anyone who’s anyone’ as a person can be. So, when Butch speaks up people listen.
The linked article discusses that Trump won’t be seen this week despite his golf obsession and owning some famous courses. Turnberry was a famed course and part of the the Open (we call it the British Open, another of golf’s four majors) “Rota” which is a small group of iconic courses the Royal and Ancient selects a given years venue from. When it became Trump Turnberry it was dropped from the Rota. Hmmmm. At least the Russian money Trump sank into the place didn’t ruin the course. The Independent is mistaken in calling Trump Doral one of the world’s top courses. It never was. It DID used to be a prime stop on the Florida swing of the PGA Tour each year and even earned a cool nickname – The Blue Monster. After buying it Trump decided to trick it out and it quickly fell out of favor with big name pros and became a second tier event. Then the PGA abandoned the tournament known as ‘The Doral’ entirely. Now it’s just Trump’s personal home course.
Getting back to The Masters and Trump’s (blessed) absence he will be FURIOUS when he learns what Butch Harmon had to say about him not being a ‘good fit’ for Augusta:
“I think you can answer that [why Trump is unlikely to be at Augusta] yourself,” Harmon said on a media call, including The Independent. “Because he’s Trump. I think he is who he is. He’s full of himself. He’s the type of person that I don’t think fits the profile of an Augusta member.”
As the Tommy Boy character Chris Farley played would say after getting whacked upside the head, ‘That’s gonna leave a mark.’ Harmon had more to say and you’ll love it because Trump will HATE it:
“I’ve known Donald pretty much my whole life. What you see is what you get with him. And I don’t think his personality fits the membership at Augusta,” Harmon claims.
“I don’t think that [being president] has anything to do with it, because there’s been a lot of other presidents who played golf, and they’re not members. Clinton, Obama… they played golf. I think it’s just his personality doesn’t mix with that particular club. That’s as politically correct as I can be.”
Harmon I should note has coached some of golf’s biggest names. He was the one who got Tiger Woods launched as a golfer who could win multiple majors. (Had Woods stuck with Harmon instead of trying to increase the power in his swing maybe he wouldn’t have had so many injuries and surgeries) He also worked with Mickelson at a key point and without him Phil wouldn’t have wound up with six majors and a Tournament Players Championship. Both have I should not disgraced themselves which given their Trump ass kissing makes sense. Harmon has also worked with Dustin Johnson and other top pros at some point.
Anyway much as he likes to think, and even outright says so Trump isn’t “all that” in the golf world and never has been. Most pro golfers only like him because of his anti-tax policies for rich people. So they make nice with him and play rounds of golf with him and don’t talk about his blatant cheating. I find it appalling that they put up with it and don’t say anything. This is after all a sport where players call penalties on themselves! It’s even happened with major championships on the line. That so many big name golfers including icons back Trump has decreased my love for the game but I digress.
However the topic here is Augusta National. It’s not THE most exclusive and secretive about its membership (some like to remain unknown) but it’s on the short list. The Chairman and the Board make damned sure the club’s rules and traditions are followed and they don’t take orders from anyone. Not even a President. Few have been members but Eisenhower was and played there a lot. Until done in by a freak ice storm there was a large loblolly pine along the left side of the fairway of the 17th hole. It wasn’t much of an issue for pros good enough to receive invitations to the Masters.
In the 1950s when August had long since reached iconic status Eisenhower decided to throw some Presidential weight at the Board. Due to a knee injury decades earlier in his military service Eisenhower had a wicked AND incurable slice. There was room on plenty of course including some (only some) holes at Augusta to allow for it. But than then only moderately tall pine at 17 kept catching his tee shots. So Eisenhower, who was President at the time committed the incredible breach of etiquette and walked into a Board meeting demanding the offending tree be cut down. Then Chairman Cliff Roberts, close friend of course founder Bobby Jones knew full well what Jones would do – the meeting was abruptly put in ‘recess’ and didn’t resume that day. Neither Roberts or Jones would speak to what words were exchanged after others were gone but the subject was NEVER raised by Eisenhower again.
THAT folks is Augusta National. It’s members include most of the richest/influential corporate leaders in the country. An even tonier group that New York City’s elite which famously wouldn’t accept Trump as one of them. Small wonder they want nothing to do with Trump. IF he were crass enough to even privately ask they’d summon up some old-school class to politely tell him no. Although one has to wonder if they’d do a (General) James Mattis resignation style missive that dumbass Trump would waive around thinking it was complimentary – until someone sat him down and explained it was a sendup!
It’s a fun thing to image as Masters Week gets underway. Even more fun is the thought of Trump trying to crash the event and the spectacle of Augusta National Security, backed by local and state LE telling Trump and every Secret Service Vehicle drivers to get the whole entourage back in the cars and drive the hell back down Magnolia Lane! That’s a nice thing to think about when my head hits the pillow in a while. Along with what Harmon had to say. He’s old-school and let’s just say he can speak in more blunt and ‘colorful’ terms than shown above. Imagining what he says when he knows he won’t be quoted would likely give Trump a stroke! Maybe, just maybe golfers who’ve spoken out favorably about Trump will learn what Harmon said publicly and have a chat with him. And grow a goddam sense of decency and enough backbone to stand up for IT, and against Trump.
Golf went from a well thought out and funded for years “Grow the Game” campaign only to have Trump come to power and say golf should be ‘aspirational’ – as in for rich people and most of us should either get rich or stay the hell away from the course. It IS an ancient game with some traditions of sportsmanship worth spreading. Less than a hundred insanely rich golfers who complain about a yearly tax bill that’s an amount most people won’t earn in gross income in four decades should STFU, pay their f**king taxes and tell Trump to go to hell. And start growing the game again. Harmon has opened a door some big name golfers should walk through.
And most of them will be at Augusta at least part of this week. They should make a point of asking the members point blank “Do you think a majority of members consider Trump Augusta material?” and think hard about the answer (not only NO but HELL NO) and move forward accordingly.
Friends, I know everyone begs you for money. I promise, among all those asking for spare change, we are the smallest and the hardest working. We’re a group of old, disabled people, except for one writer in his mid-50s. The rest of us are in our sixties and seventies, and this is a labor of love. All we’re asking for is the chance to keep telling the truth about Trump and help ensure democracy survives. If you can help, please do. Thank you. Ursula
Denis, this made golf sound interesting! It might be better to watch in person, but I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to bother trying to watch Trump.
It’s impossible to get into the area, not just the course, when the Masters is in town. Also, I don’t have anything to wear, in both a serious and a funny statement.
Also, a belated thank you for the music from the Messiah. I love the choral pieces, and we actually performed the entire thing. I was a soprano then, but not the soloist. Now it’s more like a high tenor. Heh. I play the choral pieces every year at Christmastime.
Oh, almost forgot, congrats on being a Mason!
Like season tickets for many pro football teams the waiting list is looooooong to get Masters visitors passes. And, just as in the aforementioned football scenario holders often pass them along in their will when they die. Sometimes an heir doesn’t want them and they get sold. Sometimes people can no longer afford them, or because as I said the course is one helluva hike up and down steep terrain get old or develop a physical issue that simply doesn’t allow them to get around and one must walk. No carts allowed. So that’s another way they can wind up being sold. Each year, as with other majors like the U.S. Open a small number of passes are offered via lottery. Passes can be for the whole week, another type just for tournament days, and another type for practice rounds only which is the least costly way to see the place and in some ways the most enjoyable as the players are doing their practice rounds and on the range. It’s a more relaxed environment and particularly with players who actually enjoy crowed interactions pretty special.
Probably the least expensive way to see the place is during the practice rounds on Mon. or Tues. when a fair number of folks with weekly passes are willing to defray the cost of their pass by ‘renting’ it to someone like you or me. Making the connection with someone, especially someone who won’t price gouge like a scalper (if those who run the tournament learn someone is getting cray with the price gouging they’ve revoke their pass and privileges – for life) but there’s a market out there for this type of thing.
So, it might if you plan and save up a bit be more doable than you imagine. And one thing you don’t have to worry about is lugging around a backpack of food and drink. The Masters is famous for having marvelous food and drink for the patrons and at eye poppingly low prices. Non-alcoholic beverages are only two bucks for a bottle. If you want to splurge for something fancy for a “toast” to the day the most expensive item is white wine for six bucks! As for food both the egg salad and the pimento cheese are tasty and iconic traditional offerings. Like a mint julep at the Kentucky Derby it’s something EVERYONE makes sure to have. Two bucks a sandwich. Even more substantial sandwiches like bbq or ham & cheese on rye are only three bucks! Snacks an muffins that are great for breakfast run two to three dollars and a plain ole banana is only $1.25.
The members as I’ve noted are filthy stinking rich and have enough class to want to share to the masses while not financially making them open a main vein to be able to come and have a good time. I thought at one point I had found someone who would take me down there to at least watch a practice round. I’d become disabled by then but could still get around although making it out to Amen Corner might have been too much for me. He was the brother in law of a good friend I made after moving down here and I got invited to big family dinners at her sisters house. The dude liked to talk and he kinda boasted about attending sporting events and while not having his own pass knowing someone who rarely used the one their family had that let him have first crack in years they didn’t go. I was all excited when I told Jackie about it later and she said it was bullshit – that while in general he was a good guy and husband/father he talked a lot of shit and no, he’d never been to Augusta and was just trying to impress me, just like his bullshit about being friends with then Cubs manager Joe Maddon was and I could forget about getting that particular introduction too.
Oh well. My point is that the place is a veritable garden and beautiful even when the flower buds on the trees have dropped away and the azaleas have lost their bloom. Yes, the greens are mowed so closely for the tournament to get them to “Masters speed” which they famously won’t reveal (any golf journalist caught trying to sneak out their with a stimp-meter would be banned for life and if they worked for an outlet it too would face some punishment) so they ‘burn up’ when the weather heats up for good in Georgia later in the spring. The course closes to play in mid May each year and doesn’t reopen, even to members until fall, usually in mid to late October.
But other than that the place is as perfectly green and manicured as anyplace you will find including the UK’s palaces. Even more so in fact. It does after all sit on land that was a nursery before Jones bought it. Jones was born to money and privilege but never lost the common touch. So, while he wanted an exclusive place where he could use his name/accomplishments to create one of the world’s best courses and tournaments he still had what’s known as the common touch. If only on a limited basis one week out of the year he wanted just about anyone to be able to come and enjoy what he and course architect Alister McKenzie had wrought.
Along with his close friend and long-time Board Chair Cliff Roberts it was made clear that part of the “Tradition unlike any other” would be that patrons attending the Masters would be able to afford to visit and enjoy their (rest of the time) exclusive golf club without having to save up like it was a dream vacation. Their successors have that same attitude in their DNA. Snobbish as they might be anywhere else or at any other time for Masters week they are gracious and welcoming to the masses. It the cost of a pass is a bit much for the average person they allow ways for almost anyone to get in at a reasonable price and once there be able to eat and drink at ridiculously low prices. WAY lower than a theme park or a pro ballgame! Here’s a partial menu and prices if you don’t believe me:
masters menu prices