Special Masters are all the rage these days. If you want to be cool, you better get one yourself. What’s that you say? I’m not involved in the investigation of federal crimes, let alone a plot to overthrow the government? Pshaw. All the best people are getting Special Masters these days. I intend to have one myself by nightfall.

Here’s the latest lunacy. Alan Dershowitz, and others, did file a lawsuit on Mike Lindell’s behalf, so Lindell better sell mucho pillows because his legal bills are going to skyrocket.

Here is Dersh in his last stance as a legal whore. If anybody takes him seriously after this, it will be some miracle.

Is there anything in the constitution about hearing aids? Because Lindell is hot to trot on that particular topic. He mentioned his hearings aids the night the phone was seized. I didn’t comprehend the comment then and am no more enlightened now. Raw Story:

Attorneys for the pillow magnate filed a new motion Thursday seeking the return of his phone, arguing that losing access to the device has harmed his business and his personal health because he relies on it for his hearing aids.

“Except for face-to-face communications, I have depended on my cellphone for many years as my exclusive means of communication in my business and personal dealings,” Lindell claimed. “On my cellphone, I have passwords for specific apps and for my company financial accounts (e.g. to wire funds) that are not stored anywhere else (including the cloud).”

“Not having my cellphone has already damaged my ability to conduct my business. I typically receive and send hundreds of text messages a day. For that reason, the data collected on my cellphone is exceptionally voluminous and multifarious. My hearing aids are also tied to this cellphone.”

Does anybody know WTF he’s talking about? Hearing aids can be used as wireless headphones with a Smartphone, that I have heard. So what is he saying here, he can’t use his hearing aids without the cell phone and therefore he’s rendered deaf and the meanies at DOJ and FBI did it? Maybe that’s the story for the rubes.

That’s it, hold my beer. I’m going down to the Gas ‘n’ Sip right now. I’m not going to be left out. Say, do you get any choice as to size, color?

Lindell said he would take us, “where no man has gone before” and he might just do that.


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  1. Let’s all say it along with Oprah: YOU get a Special Master! YOU get a Special Master! YOU get a Special Master! EVERYONE gets a Special Master!

    Seriously though, Mikey ain’t playing with a full deck and Dersh’s reputation is floating with Trump Turds in the sewer under Mar A Lago so he needs money. Now that he’s reduced to ambulance chaser level lawyering Lindell would seem like an easy mark for some easy fees. Promise Lindell he can help him, “But first Mike sign this retainer agreement” and file some bullshit motions in court. And hope for a friendly judge that doesn’t kick him out before he can truly get rolling so he can rack up a shitload of billable hours against that retainer!

    Dersh has spent enough time visting MAGA land to know how gullible some of them are and like I said Lindell doesn’t have even a tenuous grasp on reality.

  2. My guess is that maybe has an app on the phone that operates the hearing aids. Possibly turning them on and off, adjusting the volume. Just a guess.

    • It’s better than anything I’ve heard of so far. Maybe you should phone the New York Times and tell them that’s what he’s talking about.

    • You are correct. I have a friend who is a PhD audiologist. Modern hearing aids are adjusted and controlled by your smart phone. In this instance, Lindel does have a health point.

    • This is exactly it. The app lets you adjust the volume, turn them on/off, etc. Most of the newer hearing aids use an app to allow you to tune them to specific conditions.

  3. Someone needs to inform Mikey Pillow-pusher that the loss of his phone is not the problem with his business. It is his lack of anything approaching good sense thereby supporting a serial liar making claims that are beyond unbelievable–that is what is adversely affecting his business. Oh, and the pillows are apparently crappy as well so there’s that.

    • Mike Lindell Net Worth is $174 Million US Dollars. Mike Lindell’s annual income is over $32 million dollars. Someone needs to inform you getting your facts straight is your problem.

      • Hitler was a ‘rich’ man when he ate cyanide & a bullet. So is every dictator in the world. So he stole money selling shit stuffed pillows. Your boy has stolen tens of millions. Oops. Sorry. Forgot he got caught!!! Payback is hell. Do you wear your swastika in public? Or, like the cowards you folks are, hide in public & shoot your mouth off behind a moniker??? Aldo the Apache was on to something…carve a swastika into your forehead so you punks can’t hide.

  4. I’d bet that his businesses, such as they are, would run better if he weren’t involved. (They probably have actual computers and backups and stuff.)


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