Whether you’re a gambler, a baseball player, a hockey player like me, or even just a casual sports enthusiast such as a golfer or bowler, sooner or later you’re gonna run into a stretch of luck make you wanna just sit down and cry. In my career I’ve hit sticks, goalposts, crossbars. Skates, gloves, and even a teammates ass that kept a perfectly placed shot from going onto the net. It’s inevitable, and it drives you insane.

Legally, that’s where The Cheeto Prophet is right now. The last I saw, even his hair was limp and defeated, and his orange spray tan looked more like a radiation victim. And I well know the feeling. Just as when you don’t even wash or change your game socks when you’re on a roll, when you’re drilling a dry hole, you’d change your fucking name and jersey number if you thought it would help.

But even amidst all of his current legal troubles, he has a hidden ticking time bomb on his horizon, which I’m sure he isn’t even giving a passing thought to, which will make will make Trump crawl into a corner, curl up, and cry like the baby he is if it ever actually goes off.

Two simple words. Rudy freakin’ Giuliani. That ruffian has been far too quiet for far too long right now, and that gets my nose whiskers twitching. The last we heard of The Ghoul Man, rather than telling the J6 committee to go pound sand, he was negotiating terms for an appearance in front of the panel. And after that, he dropped off of the radar like he had been whisked off to a rendition center in Poland or somewhere.

Look, I’m no oracle, and I’m making no predictions here, but there are so many reasons for Giuliani to cut a deal with the committee that if I listed them all, it would look like the Manhattan phone book. Let’s just take a quick spin down memory lane at a few of the most recent and most pressing of them;

  • Rudy Giuliani is facing a severe cash crunch. His law firm dropped him after the post election lawsuit debacle. His ticket to practice in New York has been suspended, and it is highly likely he will be permanently disbarred. His own actions on behalf of Trump have made him a laughingstock that precludes him from getting consulting work where he doesn’t need a law licence.
  • At the same time, Giuliani is awash in legal debts. He currently has at least two civil lawsuits against him, including a $1.2 billion lawsuit from voting machine maker Dominion. And it turns out that pretty much everybody but the Sanitation Workers Union wants to either interview or depose him, and lawyers don’t argue that shit for free
  • The next one is His Lowness himself. Pretty much from start to finish, Giuliani has had a pathetic kind of abused spouse relationship with Traitor Tot. Throughout their relationship since Trump became President, he has used Giuliani for legal services, and then either dime-on-a-dollar, or even stiffed him for his legal fees when things didn’t go Trump’s way. After the election, Giuliani spearheaded Trump’s election overturn strategy, racking up more frequent flier points than the Secretary of State. But public reporting shows that after all of those attempts came a cropper, Trump stiffed him on the bill

But the best reason for Giuliani to flip is the one that Shakespeare said is Best served cold. Revenge. Throughout their relationship since Trump became President, Trump has treated Giuliani like the Roslyn Village Idiot. He has dismissed and humiliated him in meetings, in private when Giuliani wasn’t even there, and casually in rally speeches. He fobbed off his criminal extortion attempt with the Ukraine by telling everybody to Ask Rudy. Sweet Jesus, The Mango Messiah has never once treated a brainless moron like the My Pillow Guy, Mike Lindell with the casual disdain and embarrassment he has rained down on Giuliani.

I mentioned earlier that the J6 committee wrapped Giuliani up in a rug and put him in a foot locker once they started negotiating, and I think I know why that is. I love the J6 committee to death! For the most part, they have treated their work like a grand jury hearing. And I’m pretty sure that one of their first negotiating demands for Giuliani is that he Keep his big fucking mouth shut! What other reason can there be for a guy who gravitates to a camera the way a moth gravitates to a flame to suddenly go AWOL?

There are only two ways that I can see this going. The first is that this is a naked power play from Giuliani. It was publicly reported that after the post election kerfuffle, Giuliani begged Trump for help with his legal bills, accumulated working on Trump’s behalf. Trump’s reported response was akin to, If you were a better lawyer Rudy, you wouldn’t have all of these problems, would you? That is so Trump that I can almost hear the sneer in his voice. Giuliani may be using this leverage in one more quiet attempt to get Trumpelthinskin into ponying up for his legal defense fund.

The second option is the Shakespeare option, revenge. Giuliani is a prideful man. He is a former US Attorney for the SDNY, the most autonomous and powerful office in the DOJ. He is a former New York City Mayor, the one who got the city, although rather badly, through the 9/11 disaster. I say badly because Giuliani’s first response to the tragedy was to try to delay the New York Mayoral election to give him more time in power. And he’s a former GOP primary Presidential candidate. And Trump made him look like an ass clown.

This can’t go on forever. The J6 committee is on an expedited time schedule, and they don’t have time to dick around with Giuliani. I expect them to give him a time limit to decide on his cooperation, and if Trump doesn’t kick in by that time, Giuliani is going to have to cross the Rubicon, one way or the other. And I think I know which way he’ll fall. At his core, Giuliani is weak and self indulgent.

I recently wrote an article in which I posited that Trump actually greased the skids to his current legal demise by being such a cheap prick. He regularly stiffed his lawyers, and now in his hour of need, nobody wants to represent him. And I’m sure that in the legal morass he now finds himself in, Giuliani is barely a blip on his radar. But Rudy Giuliani is far more dangerous than Trump gives him credit for being. For once in his misbegotten life, Trump’s best move is to open up the checkbook, cover Giuliani’s legal bills, and keep him quiet. Because one possible alternative isn’t just a Giuliani deposition before the J6 committee, but a live prime time deposition broadcast on national television. We’re about to find out just how stupid Trump is. Don’t touch that dial.


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  1. I think the answer concerning his stupidity has been answered time after time. The one way rudy could be valuable is on TV. As far as evidence goes, there’s a mountain sitting there, including the past seven years of PUBLIC RECORD. 2.3 MILLION CITIZENS IN JAIL having done much much less. Special treatment? U bet ur bippy. Cue up the excuses for the ‘law’ with all of its hypocrisy & double standards. If it needs that dumb prick then something is seriously wrong. Of course we average citizens already knew that.

    • This situation with the law not moving much faster to put the don in prison and keep him there demonstrates how dirty the US leaders Are and if they weren’t that was in the beginning of their political career, later on down the line it becomes mandatory to be filfthy just like their constituents. What A Crying Shame!!

  2. Rudy is damned if he does (cooperate with the committee) and damned if he doesn’t. So there are two things I want to mention. Let’s start with the here and now, and that cooperation will lead to significant legal exposure for Rudy with some of it being criminal. At his age even white collar sentencing guidelines could lead to him dying in prison. So he’s got incentive to cut a deal.

    There are two problems with that and ego (both his and Trump’s) is crucial in all of this. Rudy made his reputation at SDNY but some digging suggests he didn’t do much of the actual work on those mob cases but always made sure to be front and center for the cameras and people (including journalists who had to have know better but ratings are ratings) were happy to assume he was the mister tough guy, in your face bad guys dude that people remember about him. However, he saw bigger things for himself and like so many prosecutors before him he decided to parlay prosecutorial success in “big name” cases into a career in politics.

    In a place like NYC that meant raising a lot of money and he needed to somehow get enough of a war chest to crack open enough checkbooks to be a viable candidate. And that was the beginning of his association with Trump. Trump was his “angel investor”, the one who coughed up enough that Rudy could point to his campaign account and say he was generating interest and that led to others making donations and sure enough it was enough to get him elected.

    What got swept under the rug and no one wants to delve in to (for the NYT and the networks who are based in NYC it’s got to be a major embarrassment if it all gets dug up and dominates the news for weeks) is that during the time frame in question SDNY was taking a look at the Trump Org. We now know there was plenty of “there” there to find and Trump could have been taken down in both criminal and civil proceedings even then. But that investigation quietly got closed down. Hmmmmm.

    So we come to Rudy’s Choice. I doubt that so much groty transmission fluid has leaked from his head that he doesn’t remember how things work. If he cooperates with the Jan. 6 Committee it will almost certainly lead to the DOJ sitting him down for a chat and pointing out the various criminal statutes he’s violated. To cut a deal with THEM is a whole different kettle of fish. In the federal system when someone chooses to become a cooperating witness there’s a term known as “Queen For A Day” (although it often takes many days) where the person has to admit to EVERY crime they’ve been party to. Leave out even one and not only is the whole deal off but everything they confessed to can be used against them – that part of Miranda about “anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law” Another thing that can happen is what happened to Michael Cohen and it illustrates this concept. He was quite willing to tell all he knew regarding Trump and even had receipts as they say. However, there was another part of his life and shady dealings he refused to talk about – his taxicab business partnership with his father-in-law. His wife’s dad might have resisted making his daughter a widow but couldn’t protect some of his associates from doing so and Cohen knew it so he refused to get into any of that.

    So he didn’t get a deal. Oh, he got SOME consideration for what he provided on Trump but he did in fact get sentenced to prison.

    Consider all that in the context of Rudy, and add in his and Trump’s egos. Rudy would be required to confess ALL, all of the way back to his initial “donation” from Trump. Having tanked an investigation even if it wasn’t all that close to a grand jury or charges is still tanking an investigation and all he’s got left is being able to point to having once been a force at SDNY. His WHOLE career and image would be trashed, not to mention that little issue of accepting money from a target for a favor. That’s bribery and won’t sit well with any judge no matter what kind of deal prosecutors make with him. As I said, there is probably a little machinery in his head that operates even with transmission fluid leaking out sometimes.

    And here’s where it gets really fun. He might be hoping Trump is scared enough to bail him out financially. Of course Trump has his own financial and legal problems. And is cheap as fuck. But it goes deeper than that. I have NO doubt that in Trump’s mind he made Rudy’s political career possible in the first place and if anyone owes more money on that particular transaction or to put it in Trump-speak “deal” he feels like Rudy owes HIM. And always will and that Rudy should be fucking grateful for any bread crumbs of fees Trump has paid to Rudy in recent years.

    To paraphrase an old Kenny Rodgers classic – “Oh Ru-deeeeee, you’re well and truly fucked!”

    • It wouldn’t be a surprise to me if Rudy was getting paid a lot to ignore certain people while he was at SDNY. Not by the feds, but by certain people and their associates.

  3. You are forgetting Lev Parness and Ukraine. Rudy still in the hot seat over that. And the President isn’t the president anymore contrary to his statements otherwise. Rudy is out of three some odd years of his iife jetting here and there for Cheeto. I think you said something about 7 million dollars. That’s about what he owes Rudy.


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