From Space Force To Space National Guard. Really Trump?

Trump’s creation of ‘Space Force’ was ridiculous. CALLING it Space Force turned in into true Farce. Trump who considers himself the master of marketing and all things hip and cool figured the name would be a hit. Maybe it was with many of his MAGAs. I’m certain the ‘Meal Team Six’ ones were chomping at the bit to sign up. Sadly, Space Force is a real thing, a bull blown branch of our military that Trump likes to brag about creating. I pity our military folks posted to NATO and other places for the wisecracks they have to endure from colleagues from other countries. Alas, Trump isn’t done with his ‘spaceman’ fantasies. In an attempt to pander, he spoke to a National Guard meeting and proposed… Yep, Space National Guard!

I long ago gave up trying to figure out how what passes for Trump’s brain works. Clearly he’s got delusions of grandeur when it comes to space and fantasies about being an astronaut. Hey, back in the 1960s before I’d already grown past the (then) height limit of six feet tall I too dreamed of being one.  Most boys, and I’ll bet a lot of girls too did only with the latter that door was firmly shut in those days. But seriously, I think Trump fantasizes he’s Han Solo from Star Wars or something. Probably at one time he dreamed of being Solo and Luke Skywalker combined but that was before actor Mark Hamill started whacking away at him.

Still, as this article from MSNBC says Trump appears serious about creating a Space National Guard, and for good measure an ‘Iron Dome’ defense shield of the U.S. I know I keep saying but REALLY? I keep flashing back to an episode of South Park (about 911 conspiracy theory) and the character Kyle:

An Iron Dome and a Space National Guard?  Let’s talk about that Iron Dome thing first. The author of the linked article doesn’t pull punches:

Trump’s incessant focus on a domestic “Iron Dome” — a subject he talks about quite a bit — continues to be strange. The whole point of an “Iron Dome” is to protect against short-range missiles, and unless the Republican is worried about Canada or Mexico launching a surprise attack, the United States should probably focus on other national security priorities.

Indeed, the former president has never explained why, exactly, he’s so determined to build a domestic “Iron Dome,” though I have a hunch it’s because he likes the words “iron” and “dome.”

Think about this in real-world practical terms. Specifically cost and cost-benefit. The Continental U.S. Alone has both the east and west coasts as well as the Gulf Coast. That’s way over two thousand miles of coastal (and inland for a ways) U.S. that would have to be defended by who knows how many Naval Ships or large oil rig sized platforms. Not to mention the sailors to actually staff them. Then there’s even more border to “worry” about with Canada and Mexico. Even if Trump could convince his rich cronies to pay more taxes (take a minute to stop laughing and wipe away the tears) we’re talking about a sum that would make the current defense budget a drop in the bucket!  Also, last I checked there aren’t any signs that either Canada or Mexico are building up rocket forces and positions from which to fire them into the U.S. that anyone is aware of.

As the author of the article says, this crazy Trump concept is born of Trump thinking “Iron Dome’ sounds tough and cool.  Maybe so, at least to some (again, MAGA goobers) but not to anyone with a lick of common sense. So let’s talk about his desire to expand his precious ‘Space Force’ by creating a Space National Guard to go along with it.  Yes, he’s actually proposed it:

“One of my proudest achievements in my first term was to create Space Force, the first new branch of the armed forces in over 70 years; it’s a big deal,” he said. “Now that Space Force is up and running, I agree with your leadership — you want this very badly — but I agree that the time has come to create a Space National Guard as the primary combat reserve of the U.S. Space Force.”

As President Biden would say ‘Come on man. That’s a load of Malarkey!’ To start with Trump didn’t create any ‘Space Force.’ The U.S. Air Force already had a substantial division called Space Command. Unlike Trump’s Star Wars/Star Trek fantasies these were dudes (it would be all males as far as he was concerned) in armed spaceships, small space fighters and even dudes zipping through space with special backpacks shooting laser weapons, or ‘phasers’ or ‘blasters’ at each other.

The real Space Command was a bunch of hugely smart, highly trained people (including women) who monitor satellites and other things floating around up there. Including an increasingly worrisome amount of space junk/debris that’s a threat to both functioning satellites and crewed spacecraft and the space station. There is an incredible amount of things including our military that depend on that network of satellites and constant monitoring is needed to maneuver them away from danger at times. Or to figure out remote repairs if one glitches or stops working altogether.

Again, this division of the Air Force was both robust and fully functional decades before Trump waddled his fat orange butt into the WH. ALL he did was give it a new, and bonehead stupid, juvenile name – Space Force. I can’t bring myself to make fun of those who actually work in it but damn, even they have to sometimes be embarrassed by that name!  But Trump and a bunch of his MAGAs think it’s cool and they, and we the taxpayers are stuck with it now.  After talking about why he thinks Trump has started obsessing on an ‘Iron Dome’ the author of the linked article goes on to say:

Similarly, while it’s true the GOP candidate likes to boast about the creation of the Space Force, Trump hasn’t gotten around to articulating any kind of vision for the branch, reinforcing concerns that he championed the move because he thought it sounded cool.

It’s against this backdrop that he now also wants a Space National Guard — again, for reasons he did not explain.

If this was Trump’s idea of a substantive speech, it was a failure.

Trump really does need a nanny to give him juice boxes and keep him in a Star Wars themed set of rooms somewhere. (Is a ‘Galaxy far, far away too much to hope for?) Space National Guard is even more stupid than Space Force. Granted, I was just another jarhead who served some time on active duty and didn’t do anything particularly special because the Corps (or one Col. anyway) thought at age 26 I was too old for OCS and then flight school to become a Naval Aviator. However, there does happen to be a Naval Aviator and Astronaut you have heard of and respect. He’s a Senator now, but there’s a great meme of him in a NASA flight suit. Snopes checked it and sure enough he really said it so I’ll give Senator Mark Kelly of Arizona the last word. Back in 2018 when word got out Trump was taking steps to create Space Force Kelly tweeted:

This is a dumb idea. The Air Force does this already. That is their job. What’s next, we move submarines to the 7th branch and call it the “under-the-sea force?” https://t.co/S1urOuJBe6

For good measure, a couple of months later he made it clear to MSNBC he was standing by his ‘dumb idea’ remark and even to the point of following it up with another tweet:

Former astronaut Mark Kelly on President Trump’s “Space Force” effort: “The only person that I’ve heard say this is a fantastic idea is the Commander in Chief, the President of the United States. Everybody else says it’s redundant, its wasteful.”  https://t.co/5WNNuWy4v4 pic.twitter.com/e1c5uocTgv

With conservatives trying to Swift Boat Tim Walz’s National Guard service for now Kelly will likely hold his tongue on this latest Trump turd in the punchbowl. However I can’t wait until after the election when Kelly is free to weigh in on ‘Space National Guard.’

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