Call The Home, Trump Just Said He Looks Like Elvis

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An entire building has been leased to contain the “You can’t make this shit up” files, and from there it will probably expand to a city block before we are through with Comrade Cheeto. Here’s Trump, with his best game show host persona, managing to defecate all over the legend of the King, right there in his own birthplace of Tupelo, Mississippi, as he brags about giving Elvis the Medal of Freedom and, incredibly, compares himself to Elvis.

Yeah, Donald, all the young girls used to wet their pants and faint, so totally under your thrall that they were. Now you know Trump’s secret fantasy. It was never to be president, it was to be a rock star. President is the consolation prize.

The men in the white coats should be along anytime now. Let’s just hope somebody stashed the nuclear codes inside a box of Cracker Jack or anyplace safe.

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