Remember the old TV series, Naked City? It ended with the tagline, “There are eight million stories in the Naked City. This has been one of them.” In the year 2021, there are more or less seven, eight billion human beings on this planet, and Mike Lindell claims that two billion of them, fully 25% of the people alive in this world — or more — have made an effort to sign up to listen to him. Or, did I read this incorrectly?
It was not a massive success. pic.twitter.com/W7ovc3O60d
— PatriotTakes ?? (@patriottakes) April 21, 2021
What’s that you say? The website is down again? So how can that be massive success? Well, it’s sorta kinda down but not really. If you go over there right now (writing this at almost 7:00 p.m. PDT) there’s a tiny screen with Lindell and his physicist buddy talking about how now doctors are giving folks hydroxychloroquine, which they knew worked all along. (I think it’s the physicist, he’s too small to see) and the screen is about the size of one of those ads with audio. And that’s it, the rest of the screen is white.
But Mike Lindell would have you believe that almost as many people as there are in the entire Christian religion, which is 2.3 billion, have signed up — or is a “request” an attempted sign up on his site? — and in two days no less. That’s one billion people a day. That is a phenomenon. Short of the second coming of Christ, I cannot imagine an event of such global significance that would get that many people instantly galvanized to one place — but apparently the launch of Frankspeech is an event of worldwide cultural impact commensurate to the return of Jesus of Nazareth. Two billion people. Wow. That’s a lot of coin in the collection plate.
Funny because most aren't Americans.
He expects is to believe this shit?
Wow
Crack must still be on the menu for Lidell.— Korey Devine ?? (@KoreyDevine) April 21, 2021
Totally plausible that they had 2B Distributed Denial of Service (DDOS) requests – Packets sent by hackers trying to bury the system. I'm sure their IT guy said, "The servers have had over 2B requests" and Mike thought that was a *good* thing.
— fcchambers (@fcchambers) April 21, 2021
the lone web server dealing with all the requests pic.twitter.com/2F1RvWER5S
— Drew Allen (@drewskie1175) April 21, 2021
Well, bots and trolls may try the soul, but an outfit like yours ain’t never gonna get no two billion requests to join, Mike. Unless, mebbe, ya spose….they’re coming from another dimension? Oh no, wait, I got it. I got it. Remember that old Outer Limits episode, Demon With A Glass Hand? And it turns out the guy is really a robot from the future and he’s got the entire population of earth stored on a copper wire around his waist? Well, if he dropped by Frankspeech and gave the wire to Mike Lindell, then there’s the two billion there. I don’t know if people living as molecules on a copper wire attached to some guy’s belt have any money, but geez, do I have to think of everything?
I thought 28 was excessively high too, to be honest.
— Saoirse Like Inaoirse (@HeadAsploding) April 21, 2021
This is serious. They got 2 billion requests as a direct result of Atlanta losing 100 million jobs due to the MLB commies. That means each Atlantan lost 240 full time jobs.
Trillions of Republicans are upset about this. pic.twitter.com/rMTaO7btwS
— Ancient Writing Device (@IIWolfe1) April 21, 2021
No WAIT!! Now I really got it!! They’re not from Atlanta! They’re from AtlanTIS, the two billion people. They’re way down, below the ocean, where I want to be, with Frankspeech. Yeah, Atlantis, the place that sank. That’s where you’ll find your audience, Mike. Just go out on the beach behind Mar-a-Lago and start swimming, take a left at the Bermuda Triangle and go straight down. You’ll find your audience there, all two billion of them, glub glub. Don’t let the UFOs hit you in the ass.
He must be eating the (no doubt highly toxic!) contents of his pillows!
Maybe that’s where he keeps his stash?
Mile – the little guys in what passes for your mind aren’t real. You can’t count them in the statistics
I wonder if this piece will piss him off and he’ll rant about me in the Terrible Reporter section of his broadcast? Wasn’t that hilarious?
I love that gif where the gerbil goes flying off the wheel. Oh, man, I howled at that! And he’s got to have severe technical problems. Last night he had a full screen for his broadcast, but the stories underneath wee a mess, no pictures. Tonight, he’s got the teensy screen, nothing else. I’ve had my own technical problems, but I’m not worth 300 Million.
He’s using the Bible – “Go forth and multiply” – and multiplied by about 2 billion
He can’t read, we know that much. The name “Ursula” is too much for him. I guess he can’t do arithmetic either.
I am trying to see if I can get an account on his site. So far I’ve struck out, claims it is still under contruction.
Email me at [email protected]. Tell me what the details are and I’ll get it handled for you. This is not normal.