We all know that life today is complicated. Hell, we even have a strategy for dealing with it, it’s called “dumbing shit down,” trying to make complicated things easier for simple slobs like me to understand. That being said, why do the Democrats have the nasty habit of taking really simple shit and making it so much more complicated?
Even the mathematical formula is absurdly simple. One deranged loner +One AR-15 with high capacity magazines + One large crowd in a confined space = BREAKING NEWS! Not only is it absurdly simple, it’s also becoming tragically commonplace. So why do Democrats insist on making it so much more complicated than that?
Yesterday on MTP Daily, full time host and part time idjit Chuck Todd began a discussion on guns by asking “But can you really call it domestic terror? What if the gunman had one specific target, but more than one person got hurt?” Oooooh, a probing, insightful question. Allow me to respond in kind, Chuckles. “What fucking difference does it make?!?” Domestic means here in the US, you know, like El Paso or Dayton, and terrorism basically means scaring the living shit out of everybody in sight. What possible difference does the specific target, or lack thereof possibly make? If you cut loose with a semi automatic weapon in a crowded place in the US, that’s domestic, and it’s pretty well guaranteed to scare the living shit out of everybody, which is terrorism. Domestic terrorism, get it? Full stop.
And the Democratic leaders in congress aren’t faring much better right now. Democratic Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, as well as Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, are standing around in front of cameras and microphones, solemnly demanding that Moscow Mitch pull his head out of Oleg Deripaska’s ass, and skedaddle his troops back to Washington, to vote on that 90% approval rating universal background check bill that the House passed in February. And since I didn’t get an answer from Chuckles the Clown to my last question, I have a different question for you, Madame Speaker.
Why are you standing around in front of microphones and cameras in San Francisco? And why are all of the other denizens of that monkey island you supervise tramping through theme parks with their kids, or burning to a crisp on beaches in Cabo San Lucas? Forget about Moscow Mitch, why aren’t you calling your kiddies back into a special session? There’s important shit to get done right now, and you’re the ones that need to do it!
Right now, banning assault style weapons has a 70% approval rating with the public. Sweet Jesus, if you put ten people around the water cooler, you can’t get 7 of them to agree on which freakin’ restaurant to go to for lunch before the 4th ballot! And banning the sale of high capacity magazines is polling at well above 60%. What are you waiting for? Get cracking! Hit your speed dial, and tell everybody to be back in DC on Monday. Call legislative assistants, and tell them to have the shortest, most concise, constitution friendly bills possible written and ready to rock-and-roll by Monday. Get ’em into committee, marked up, debated, and out of committee, by a party line vote if necessary. Get ’em on the floor, debated, and passed by next Friday, again by a party line vote if necessary, although I doubt it will come to that. Then send the kids back to Disney World and the beach.
Because right now, The Mango Messiah is making conciliatory goo-goo noises about the necessity of stronger gun background checks. But it’s going to take a whole lot more than some empty noise from The Tangerine Twitler to come between comrade McTurtle and $200 million for Kentucky. Besides, even if McConnell moves on universal background checks in September, he’s only going to mark it up in committee, and weaken it until it resembles Pedialyte before he sends it back to the House for you to wipe your ass with. That’s how the game is played, especially in the McConnell senate.
You want your original universal background check bill signed into law, or something damn close to it? Then, don’t ask for your universal background check bill to be passed. Demand action on universal background checks, and a ban on high capacity magazines, and an assault weapons ban! Then Chuck Schumer can go to Yertl McTurtle and tell him, “Give me universal background checks, and we can compromise on meaningful magazine clip and assault weapon ban legislation. You want ‘Moscow Mitch’ to disappear form the lips of Democratic lawmakers lips in front of cameras, you give me universal background checks and high capacity magazines, and we can dither about and slow walk the assault weapons ban until after the election.” The more you ask for, the more you get, when the dealing is done, especially if there’s another mass shooting to put the pressure on, or if constituents start screaming at vulnerable GOP incumbents up for reelection in 2020.
Look, guns are going to be a top tier issue in 2020, and the Democrats need it to be there. Democratic presidential candidates in general, as well as the eventual nominee, are going to hammer Trump on his slap-and-tickle relationship with Pepe LaPierre and the NRA. Democratic House members can already go back to their constituents and tout having passed comprehensive universal background checks, and hold Moscow Mitch responsible for stonewalling. But they can’t just go back to their constituents and tell them how important bans on assault rifles and high capacity magazines are. Not when they have the numbers to pass the damn bills, and send them on. Then every Democratic candidate can hold Moscow Mitch personally responsible for whatever carnage ensues, along with the rest of the GOP merry band of misfits.
Look, we all agree that life is complicated. But this particular issue, and the political ramifications, are not! Madame Speaker, I know you’re a political savant and all that, but please, with sprinkles on top, just for once can’t we Democrats do the easy thing and K.I.S.S.? Your constituents will thank you for it, and so will unknown future survivors who didn’t have to be. As Larry the Cable Guy likes to say, let’s Git ‘er Done!