WEAVE? Seriously? That’s What Trump Wants Us To Think About?

I swear when I first heard about this new nonsense from Trump I thought about whatever the hell sits on top of his BALD head. (For the record, I started going bald in my mid 20s. I’ve been a bald guy for decades) Lot’s of guys see their hair thin out as the age, or go completely bald. Some of us say “oh well” and don’t worry about it. Some however go to great (including expensive) lengths to hide their baldness. That includes some pretty pathetic, and yes hilarious “comb overs” like the various duckass hairdos Trump has sported in the last couple of decades.  He doesn’t fool me for a second and his current look which I call the ‘Frisbee Head Combover” is just another reason to make fun of Trump’s vanity. It’s not exactly a hair weave like some folks (not only women) get but all that styling is from where I sit a ‘last for a day’ weave.

That friends is why Trump’s latest claim that his word salad ramblings are actually rhetorical brilliance on his part is so funny. As reported by The Independent we now have Trump claiming he’s NOT going off on unfocused rambling when he starts talking windmills, Hannibal Lector, getting eaten by sharks vs. electrocution by a boat’s battery etc.  Oh no, Trump tells us what he does is the “most brilliant thing” academics have ever seen. It looks like “people say” has been upgraded to “academics.”  He’s so pleased with this rejoinder (look it up you MAGAs who read this site) he even created a NAME for his ‘rhetorical brilliance:’

On Friday, while speaking at a rally in Johnstown, Pennsylvania, he divulged what he claims to be his newly-coined strategy for the first time: the weave.

“When I do the weave… you know what the weave is?” Trump asked the crowd.

“I’ll talk about nine different things and they all come back brilliantly together,” he continued, waving his arms and interlocking his fingers.

You know what? Maybe it’s just me but I’m not sure a guy who looks like he’s got a frisbee with hair lacquered on to it sitting on his head should be talking about “Weaves.”  It’s as stupid and nonsensical as his never ending word salad ramblings. If you think I’m exaggerating the part about academics, at that Jonestown rally Trump claimed he doesn’t ramble at all, and went on to say:

“Friends of mine that are like English professors, they say: ‘It’s the most brilliant thing they’ve ever seen,’” he said of the weave on stage on Friday.

“But you know the fake news, you know what they say: ‘He rambles.’ It’s not rambling.”

While he didn’t disclose which English professors that complimented his linguistic abilities, Trump did reveal just how the weave works.

“What you do is you go off a subject, mention another little tidbit. And you get back onto the subject,” he explained. “You go for two hours, and you don’t even mispronounce one word.”

Two things jump out. Trump mispronounces words all the time. Sometimes he flat out slurs his speech so much he seems drunk. Second of course is that he doesn’t actually NAME any of these “English Professors” who are so stunned by his oratory. Perhaps they were part of his ‘only the very best teachers/people’ at Trump University?

Well, I thought the linked article was a fun read. I also think it’s funny as hell that a guy with the kind of complex over his freaking HAIR that Trump has wants to talk about weaves.  Look, he’s not been ‘all there” since he rode down his fake gold escalator nine years ago. Even the speech announcing his candidacy went off on tangents of lies and bullshit. 2020 was worse, and this year maybe the best thing for his campaign was when he was on trial and COULDN’T get out and do rallies. He’s clearly devolved and the process is accelerating.

Maybe the fumes from the super glue or lacquer that affix the (maybe fake) hair to the frisbee they Velcro onto his head make Trump high. It’s as good an explanation as anything else. But really. This guy wants to talk WEAVES?  The meme makers should be going to town on this one!

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