“Fairy tales can come true it can happen to you, if you’re young at heart.” — Jimmy Durante
It’s a sad world we live in nowadays. There is a sect of people who have the most bizarre notion of God. They see him as a capricious sky fairy, who will grant your wishes if he’s in the mood, or smite you dead if he’s having a bad day.
The evangelicals call their God “Christian” and the fact is, their version of Christianity bears as little resemblance to Christ as the circus fat lady bears to Audrey Hepburn. Here they are, in all their glory, speaking in tongues and “taking authority” over the 2022 midterm elections. The real action starts at 1:29, but it’s a short clip, watch the whole thing.
George Pearsons, senior pastor at televangelist Kenneth Copeland's church, cited Christian nationalist pseudo-historian David Barton's nonsense about our voting system supposedly coming out of the book of Exodus while "taking authority" over the midterm elections. pic.twitter.com/fDbmVLquVD
— Right Wing Watch (@RightWingWatch) October 6, 2022
This is coming out of Kenneth Copeland’s church, the king of the prosperity gospel, who needed a jet airplane because there were too many demons on commercial flights. He couldn’t fly the friendly skies anymore, not with Satan up there with him, and so he went out and got his own jet. Now the only demon on it is him.
What’s that you say? This jerk in the video looks familiar? Right you are. This is the clip you’re thinking of. Kenneth Copeland and this guy banished COVID.
Now if you want to see the Heavy Metal version of that, watch this. Starts at :50 in.
Here is my all time favorite religious video. I direct your attention to the second clip. The first is funny as well, but there is something about Paula White calling upon angelic reinforcements to give Donald Trump the 2020 election that gets me. The addition of the cat grooving in the foreground just makes it perfect in my eyes.
Now here’s what we’re going to do, friends. Hit the link to the bottom video and EYE will lead a prayer for the midterms, tongues and all.
Pray for Herschel pic.twitter.com/uZACWjVzJx
— TRYâš«JESUS😎 (@lilwaltjr305) October 4, 2022
Got the audio? Here’s the dialogue: Argeldly bargedly, woot woot, midterms midterms midterms, SHAZAAM. Midterms midterms midterms keep us the senate, I say keep us the senate, argedly bargedly (rinse and repeat.) Be sure to move your head in time with the cat now.
Is anybody here a casting director? Can you give a job to that poor lost soul, whom I’m convinced is an actor? I’m talking about the guy who keeps wandering in and out of frame. Please, get him anything, just get him off the streets.
John 8:42-47…Jesus, once again challenging the Jewish religious authorities about THEIR hypocrisy. Tells you exactly WHO they really are. Doubt any of them will dare read it. “Children of the devil”.
Some fine day the even jellies will catch on to a few simple facts:
Jesus, Mary and Joseph (and the wee donkey) were asylum seekers in Egypt.
‘Tongues’ is an archaic word for ‘languages’, The disciples at Pentecost were transformed from monoglots to ones who could spread the word in Greek, Latin, Aramaic, Coptic, etc – they didn’t suddenly start spouting random noises.
Jesus said ‘feed the hungry, heal the sick and give to the poor’. He didn’t tell anyone to stop others from doing just that.
Jesus said ‘take up thy cross and follow me’. He did NOT say ‘take up thy AR 15’.
He chased the money changers out of the temple. I don’t recall anything about already rich ‘preachers’ trying to get people to donate even more money during services.
He said “Don’t pray in public so everyone can see you doing it – do it in private where only God can see it”. Apparently SCOTUS thinks that Jesus made a wrong call there.
I could go on, but I’ll leave that pleasure for others to come up with examples of just how far the even jellies differ from the books they are supposed to follow.
To play “Devil’s advocate” (heh), for what it’s worth, the folks who talk about “speaking in tongues” are generally claiming they’re speaking the “language of the angels” or some ancient Biblical language that no longer exists (I’ve heard of some claiming they’re speaking the “language of Eden”–the one that Adam and Eve spoke–or whatever “universal” language was spoken prior to the Tower of Babel).
Of course, the vast majority have almost zero actual Biblical literacy. Try getting them to explain why Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 tell two COMPLETELY different Creation stories (most notably the creation of man) or why Noah is told in Genesis 6 to bring in one pair of all animals and then in Genesis 7, he’s told to bring in *7* pairs of “clean” animals and 1 pair of “unclean” animals (not even accounting for the fact that Noah and his family lived generations before the introduction of any dietary laws so Noah and his family had no real reason to “keep kosher” except as an afterthought).
You expect them to.actually read the Bible,let alone follow it? have read it 7times,and have 2/3of the classes for a second degree in theology (mine is in English Lit), and my professors were world-renowned theologians with doctorates. I have been Wiccan for that reason for 52 years.
MiL.never read it until.she got cancer. And she was an even jellie. My Niece From.Hell has never read it but took.great joy in refusing to enter the house of MiL if we were there. No.loss.
I find it weird that those who profess to believe in a divine being who knows everyone’s heart, is everywhere, & is all powerful, LIE REPEATEDLY. Gambling addicts I guess.
Nope. Once you are saved, you cannot lose your salvation,so they can lie,,cheat on spouses,steal, commit murderer and they are still.going to heaven. According to their beliefs which really have little or nothing g to do with the red parts of the Gospels,red being Jesus’words.
Which is probably why Constantine the Great held off being baptised until he was on his death bed (being of the opinion that baptism absolved all previous sins, he wasn’t taking any chances that he might slip up on the way).
Then there was St Augustine of Hippo who prayed “Give me chastity and temperance—but not yet!”
It’s an amateur vaudeville show with ham actors. Cringemaking.