Crowd size.

We started the Trump administration with lies about crowd size (which everyone believed was purely bizarre at the time, but only now know is normal, mild even). We ended the Trump administration with crowd size: “No one ever gives credit for how large the crowd was on January 6th, maybe the largest I’ve ever….”

Size matters to Trump. It matters so much so that he’ll photoshop his hands in pictures, so his fingers don’t appear so short. I wish I had an example—size matters, and nothing more so than “ratings” and crowd size.

Urs reported yesterday that Page Six has said of Trump’s new DJ gig. I am going back to Maggie Haberman, who reported that it’s a function of Trump’s advertising, trying to attract… crowd size:

Maggie Haberman of The New York Times revealed last month that Mr Trump had invited guests to his exclusive summer residence for dancing and that “great music will be played during dinner of Friday and Saturday evenings, with president Trump playing the role of disc jockey.”

Now, if this were a normal narcissist, we’d pass right over it with just a wave and say, “He likes to play music.” But Trump is advertising it. “Crowd size.” If it is just about spinning tunes, why is he advertising? The only sensible answer is that crowd size had been down at Mar-a-Lago on non-marriage nights (Thurs/Fri/Sat, supposedly the biggest nights, and in the summer season), and so Trump makes himself the center of the show, allowing guests to win his favor that much more because they can comment on his great music.

Contrast this with when you couldn’t keep a MAGA away from Mar-a-Lago. Trump didn’t need to spin tunes then. He had important money to raise. He didn’t need to advertise something special. He was the “special” person everyone came to see.

Crowd size. It is just an opinion, but I suspect this has to do with vanity crashing against the need to improve crowd sizes.

Oh, and nice job, jackass. He says, “You know what really gets them going? YMCA…” Great, tell us more. Anyone that’s been to a wedding in the last 35 years knows this. Want to know what else really gets people going, Trump? Maybe too “modern” for you (21st Century), “Happy” by Pharrell. But no one expects you to get it. Plus, the theme from Titanic might actually fit the mood better. No one seems too Happy at Mar-a-Lago these days. But Happy is easier to dance to.

[email protected], @JasonMiciak,


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  1. Irony? When you have no internal self worth, and, frankly, why should he, given his cruel and selfish history, all you have left is the shallow attention of others. Of course, it’s fools gold. When you’re starving, cotton candy won’t fix the problem. The sad fact is, who knew how many millions suffer from the same malady, willing to believe and seek the same dead end solution to their existential angst. It seems the only pleasure they get is causing and watching others suffer.

  2. I’d say the better choice to suit Trump would be Weird Al’s parody, “Tacky” (parodies “Happy”).

    I mean, these are some of Al’s lyrics:

    “We can go to see a show but I’ll make you pay.”

    “Never let you forget some favor I did for you.”

    “I meet some chick and ask her this and that, like ‘Are you pregnant, girl, or just really fat’?”

    “Bring me shame, I never know why/Bring me shame, can’t nothing/Bring me shame, I said”

    “Took the whole bowl of restaurant mints. Hey it said they’re free.”

    “I would live-tweet a funeral, take selfies with the deceased.”

    Bear in mind, Al wrote this song in early 2014–well over a year before Trump pushed himself into the national spotlight by announcing his run for the White House.

    Al IS a national treasure. And a whole lot more clairvoyant than anyone could have ever imagined.


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