Donald Trump is locked in a big heated battle with Kamala Harris. The entire nation knows that presidential races come down to only about six states – the biggest of which is Pennsylvania. In the same respect that Al Gore versus George W. Bush came down to Florida, Florida, Florida, this race will likely come down to Pennsylvania – not just because of the 21 electoral votes but also because the winner of Pennsylvania will almost surely win the other critical states. Thus it is that Trump found himself in Latrobe Pennsylvania yesterday. Now, Latrobe is a small town. But in the golf world, hearing “Latrobe” is huge – kind of like hearing of a small town named “Bethlehem.” It is the birthplace of Arnold Palmer.
Donald Trump is no Arnold Palmer. But like many rich men his age he is an avid golfer. It is perfectly normal, indeed a big deal, to talk about Arnold Palmer while in Latrobe. And yet, there are certain subjects that even the people in the famed little place don’t want to know about their late native son. Palmer was “all manhood” says Trump. He wasn’t talking about golf prowess.
Just when you thought you’d heard every stupid story. How would Trump know about Palmer being “all manhood”? Before any of the people at the rally passed out, Trump admitted that he doesn’t have firsthand knowledge of Palmer’s manhood but he assured all that he knows because, well – he knows people, he knows some men, he knows some men who know.
To the transcript we go and blame Mediaite, not me:
“But Arnold Palmer was all man. And I say that at all due respect to women. And I love women. But this guy, this guy. This is a guy that was all man. This man was strong and tough.”
Great start! Yes, the “all man” might be a bit dated but it can certainly be forgiven. Had he simply stopped there, we couldn’t mock him quite as much. So – he didn’t.
“And I refuse to say it. But when he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there. They said, ‘oh my God. That’s unbelievable.’”
Right. Except the story should’ve been less about the pros who showered with Palmer (And then reaffirmed the legend to Trump) it should be more about the fact that Palmer won so many tournaments that pros would walk out saying “Oh my God: That’s unbelievable!”
Trump wasn’t done. After that fantastic campaign story he had some self-satisfaction to get through:
“I had to say it. I had to say it. I had to tell you the shower part of it, because it’s, It’s true. What can I tell ya? We want to be honest. We want to be up front. It’s true.”
Just because something is true doesn’t mean that it needs to be said. I am truly an asshole but I rarely write it because I actually don’t want to be honest or upfront about it. And I say that without even talking about how I look in the shower or what other men might have said about it.
Back to Latrobe. Pennsylvania is a big state that is hard to win – I want to be upfront about that because it’s true. If Harris wins Pennsylvania men from everywhere will say “Oh my God, that’s unbelievable.” At that point we can shower the state with praise. That would be huge. One could say that Harris was “the man.”
God Bless: I can be reached at [email protected] and @JasonMiciak
It’d be funny if Stormy Daniels chimed in with something like, “Well, I just wish I’d had a chance to check out Mr Palmer’s ‘club’ for myself. I know what’s Donald’s is like–and it’s nothing that anyone would call a ‘club.’ More like a Lincoln log, at best. No offense to the makers of Lincoln logs, mind you. After all, those things have some real staying power.”
Jason, some of my favorite writers are admitted assholes! 😘 I did subject myself to the entire many-minutes story last night! The faces behind him were zombie faces…not exactly bored; more like shutdown, waiting for their programming to reboot. And, reboot they did…”oh, here come the dick jokes yeehaw!” 🤠 I especially loved the belief that the only worthwhile women are those with enough carefully crafted sophistication to laugh with Trump in his locker room! The rest of us bitches really gotta lighten up! 😐
I wonder how it would play if Kamala bragged about how deep and wide her vagina is? I wonder when our culture will grow the phuck up? The fact this pinhead still gets support is a sorry assessment of how goddamn shallow and stupid we are.
First, how does he know it’s true? He’s taking other people’s word for it. Secondly, what does that have to do with running for president?
Less than zero.
Like Stormy says, ‘All mushroom, no brains.’
Can this doofus get any more disgusting and deplorable? Maybe I shouldn’t ask. He always manages to find a way to go lower. What a creep. He seems to be extraordinarily focused on sex, which has always made me wonder how much sexual abuse was going on in the tRump family. Given all the other dysfunction that went on, I’d have expected there to be something, especially given tRump’s later choices of activities and cohorts. Creeper!