The Two *Newest* Most Important Dates On Trump’s Criminal Calendar

1. The secret in covering Traitor Tot’s constantly shifting criminal legal problems is adaptability. Because the courts keep taking what should be a simple scheduling issue, and let El Pendejo Presidente f*ck it up with ceaseless, mistimed appeals.

For those of you who were desperately clinging to the last shreds of a March 4th trial date for the Mango Messiah’s DC case, fuggedaboudit. Even Judge Chutkan, who has stood on her judicial head trying to get this train down the tracks, has admitted defeat. She has scheduled a different January 6th miscreant to start trial on April 2nd. If she had any realistic chance of a March trial date for Hair Twitler, she wouldn’t have scheduled another trial in the middle of it. So late April at the earliest is the best we can hope for.

And forget about the Kindergarten Court Judge down in Florida, Aileen Cannon. She doesn’t know whether to sh*t,-go-blind,-or-wind-her-watch while she tries to balance Trump’s legal defense bottom feeders demands with the more and more pressing reality of making herself into the federal judicial version of Barney Fife.

And so it starts to appear that there may be a new prosecutorial sheriff in town. And here’s the McGuffin. It’s the same prosecutorial sheriff who popped up in front the first time!

Think back. Everybody from Special Counsel Jack Smith to Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg to Fulton County DA Fani Willis wanted the first pound of The Cheeto Prophet’s flesh. Trump hadn’t been this popular since his The Apprentice days.

But both Smith as well as Willis kept tripping over their respective prosecutorial feet, and finally it was Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg who said, Fine. F*ck it. I’ve got this, and slapped The Pampers President with almost 30 state criminal charges. That started a Death Race 2000 between Smith and Willis to get the silver medal. After Trump’s arraignment and a follow up preliminary hearing, a March 26th, 2024 trial date was scheduled by the presiding judge. This went almost unremarked upon at the time.

And DA Bragg has been nothing if not deferential. Aware of the import of the moment, Bragg has long stated that he had no problem in getting together with the presiding judge and delaying the trial if a more serious state of federal case could go in that time slot.

But it can’t. Bragg has estimated that his case-in-chief will take 2-3 weeks to present. Willis already had an August 2024 trial date set, but indicated that she could move to March if the federal trial were to be delayed by 2-3 months. But now Willis in embroiled in a messy personal scandal that could touch on the case, so that deal is highly likely off. And as I said, Smith is looking at later April or early May at the earliest.

And so it almost certainly will be Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg who will be the first prosecutor to bring criminal charges against Traitor Tot. The charges stem from Trump’s idiotic attempts to buy off porn star Stormy Daniels in the lead up to the 2016 election. former Trump Ray Donovan, fixer Michael Cohen is expected to be the star witness.

But here’s the cherry on top. Sometimes the judicial system works! MSNBC  reported today that the Manhattan state trial judge in the case set February 16th as the date for the pre-trial motions. That date is critical in this case, since it’s normally the last hearing date prior to jury selection. And the time frame of a month before Voir Dire is just about right for allowing the judge to do whatever research his law clerk needs to do to issue final rulings at least 7 days before jury selection.

So there’s the two newest most important dates to circle on your Trump criminal trial BINGO card, February 16th, and March 26th. As almost as inconceivable as it seems, it is almost certain that Trair Tot is a convicted felon before Easter. Because as the protesters who lined his entourage route to federal court kept chanting, New! York! Hates! You! New! York! Hates! You!

And even Trump’s dim bulb ambulance chasers seem to have twigged to the fact that they’re not going to get the same kind of fawning, subservient service from the New York appellate system than they’ve gotten from the federal appellate system. In New York, appeals are filed after the defendant is convicted, not before.

I know, I know. After so long, and with all of the challenges, it seems almost impossible to believe that His Lowness is actually going to face the bar of criminal justice. But he is. And the chopped nuts on top of that cherry? This will be a state conviction, which Traitor Tot can’t pardon even if he gets back in the White House. Patience, my young Padawan. Trust in the Force.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.