The GOP Is In Full Blown, Hair-On-Fire Panic Mode

This is what happens when you’re a cult instead of a political party. The Democratic party had what appeared to be a full blown existential threat, calmly solved it, and came out stronger on the other side than they went in. The problem with a cult is if there’s a crisis of confidence, and Glorious Bleater loses his sh*t, everybody else promptly loses their sh*t too.

And that’s what’s happening right now in Trumpmenistan. They have all been knocked on their fat asses by the sudden sea change in the race, Traitor Tot is in an emergency bacon double cheeseburger induced cholesterol coma, and the minions are all running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

That’s a cult for you. The Cheeto Prophet spent 3+ years stoutly married to his almost religious epiphany that he was a shoo in to kick Biden’s ass, and so everybody religiously devoted three years to tossing Biden down the nearest flight of stairs.

Which is stupid for two reasons. First of all, it should have been a giant flashing red light a month ago, after the debate, when the furor over Biden’s mental competence didn’t die down, no matter how many times the White House put him out there to show he was just ducky. The GOP blew three solid weeks of emergency contingency time to come up with some options for another candidate, whether Kamala Harris or somebody else. But since Traitor Tot wouldn’t back out of a fight even if his arms were chopped off, like the knight in Monte Python and the Holy Grail, he serenely deluded himself that Biden would never voluntarily back out.

The second reason is even worse, and shows a level of self delusion that borders on the paranormal. Trump and the campaign spent three years gleefully pointing out that Biden was first 79, then 80, and then 81. This was their bumper sticker, Biden is old! So they all knew that Biden is old. But they didn’t make the mental connection, conveniently ignoring the fact that at age 81, even if Biden didn’t step on his crank in the debate, there was no medical assurance that he would make it all the way to election day above ground. But they made no contingency plan based on the simple fact that old people sometimes die. Suddenly.

And that’s the problem. This is a serious, potentially existential political problem, and the GOP is no longer a functioning political party. This is now the Cult of MAGA, and MAGAt’s from Traitor Tot on down don’t do politics. They do politics, they all do performance art, with the sole goals of increasing their face time on FUX News, and stuffing their pockets with campaign donation cash. The few remaining political thinkers like Ditch McConnell are ignored and ostracized. So don’t look for a sensible political solution from these ass clowns.

The initial GOP response in the first 48 hours has been as pathetic as it was predictable. In MAGA nation nothing matters other than the slobbering Trombie base. And that’s exactly what they’re doing, going to the MAGA butcher store for raw red meat to throw to the rabid dogs. In a speech today VP doofus Goober Vance snidely used an acronym as a dog whistle to the faithful that Harris’s biggest shortcoming is that she isn’t a white man. Trump Mein Kampf guru Sebastian Dorka derisively referred to Harris as colored, an obvious dog whistle racial slur. And House Squeaker MAGA Mike Johnson took to the microphones to sonorously threaten that the GOP House may file a lawsuit in federal court to force the DNC to keep Biden on the ballot. Which is too f*cking stupid to even be a sentence. The fact that Kamala Harris is likely to kick their cult asses is not legal standing to file a lawsuit against a competing political party.

El Pendejo ex Presidente has been surprisingly muted since the news broke, other than promising to trounce her, and calling her lame ass names like dumb as a box of rocks, crazy, and insane. Although he did pop his head out of his hole today on Bullsh*t Social to vow to debate Harris more than once, so long as FUX News handled the debates, since ABC News couldn’t be fair. Not only is Trump a delusional imbecile, he has a political death wish. Harris would stuff his fat ass into a Cuisinart, put the lid on, and hit puree.

Eventually the GOP is going to have to find a way to deal directly with Harris, but like Glorious Bleater himself it will be lame, weak, and self destructive. And it will only get worse as the pressure builds. A 48 hour snap poll from Reuters/Ipsos had Harris leading Trump 42-40, within the margin of error. A 48 hour snap poll from Morning Consult had Harris up 42-38, out of the margin of error. As the Harris train picks up steam, and Trump’s age issue becomes a focal point not only in his race, but in every race down the ballot, their flailing will only get more desperate.

Marry in haste, and repent in leisure. The GOP has had more than their share of chances. When Trump got his ass kicked in 2020, after a blue tsunami in the House in 2018, they had the chance to finally execute the 2012 GOP autopsy Report, and retool the party in the expected eight years of a Biden presidency. They didn’t, even when The Trumpster Fire inspired an insurrection. And again in 2022 when the Big Red wave turned into a Tommee Tippee spill. And in 2023 Nikki Haley literally begged them to see reason, but no go, even when she kept racking up 30% in primaries after she had dropped out of the race. The stupid bastards deserve everything they get this year.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.

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