I don’t know if ya’ll need to be anywhere in the U.S.A. today, but if you do wear your slicker and a hard hat because it’s raining idiots out and, sadly, the long range forecast indicates we’ll just have more of this shit weather.
I promised you Boebert up top, and we’ll get to her, don’t worry, but I just have to comment on yesterday’s most typically America 2022 story, outlined expertly by Ursulafaw on our front page, about the Mein Pillow guy getting his fries tossed and his phone seized by the FBI in the drive-through lane of a Hardee’s in Minneapolis.
Seriously? How many #%%!@##$$ phones do you need G-Man?
What, are ya’ll opening a Verizon kiosk on the side er somethin’?
Indict somebody already!
Then, because the day wasn’t stupid enough, TFG had to weigh in on the loss of “majesty” the good ole USA suffered when Majestic Mike was cavity searched as he waited for his Double Western Burger and large curly fry…
Sir, this is a Hardee’s pic.twitter.com/OlkzPaYD7u
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 14, 2022
Eliciting these bemused responses:
— lynneyo (@lynnemarieyo) September 14, 2022
— Douglas Warnock (@WarnockDouglas) September 14, 2022
Now, that’s a mothafuckin’ hoot…
Late addition: Hardee’s gets in on the fun…
Not Missing A Trick 101 https://t.co/qSqZQLtzwJ
— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) September 14, 2022
But the real loss of majesty, shit-for-brains, is that Leonard Cohen, Laura Nyro, David Bowie and Tom Petty are all gone now, but we are left bereft with two seventy something old men who eat like a bus load of high school footballers like Lindell your blovious (sic) self plotting the downfall of the Republic.
God not only plays dice with the universe, Einstein, he’s building a casino in Vegas.
Then there is this sad Ronald:
"Armed Dairy Queen looking to anoint his King" is quite the headline
— Philip Laureano 🇭🇲🇵🇭 (@philiplaureano) September 14, 2022
Guess I’ll forgo my Blizzard this afternoon.
But I promised you the special idiocy that is Lauren Boebert, and, after that, we may as well laugh, so here goes:
Lauren is dim some.
— Jamie Schler (@lifesafeast) September 14, 2022
🤣🤣🤣 Yes she is, Jamie… 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I can barely pay my bills and this mistake of DNA is pulling down $174K. FML
— Donald K-Not "That" Other Donald (@DonaldRash12) September 14, 2022
So do they call the gazpacho police if there is a wonton killing?
— Taryn T, Duchess of the Blue Sea 🇺🇦🇺🇦 (@Talyn777) September 14, 2022
— Mary S 🐝 (@MaryVicToryFarm) September 14, 2022
I’ve heard that…
This Lauren Boebert…preaching?
Oh yeah, I forgot – Lauren and Jesus are best buds. pic.twitter.com/nQu5PuWW1F
— rcdlv 🇺🇦 (@rcdlv1) September 14, 2022
Hell’s Kitchen Menu👇
Aunt Qunty’s Recipe of the Day:
Gazpacho with wontons.
— 𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℙ𝕚𝕩𝕖𝕝 ℙ𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕥 (@Cheap_Knockoff) September 13, 2022
Won’t find this on Truth Social:
— Daniëlle Gryson (@daniellegryson) September 14, 2022
Isn’t it about time in this country, that ANY person who wants to run for political office, should take some type of proficiency test?
We take SAT’s for college admission.
Should we not hold our political candidates to SOME type of standard? pic.twitter.com/2y7YRymjhu
— La Tep (@LolaTep) September 14, 2022
But, in the end, the electorate is to blame.
Like I said, if you have to go out today, dress sensibly, it’s unfair to party stupid out there and…
You might want to pack a lunch.