Hey, all you literary types and journos, here’s an announcement that should knock your socks off. Donald Trump is writing a book. And not just any book, but “the book of all books.” What’s that you say? Isn’t that what Christians call the Bible? Well, the Bible will just have to learn to know its place, because Trump is preparing a tome of his own, the book to, you should pardon the expression, trump all others.

He’s writing like crazy. He’s got a big chief tablet and a bunch of sharpies and sometimes he uses crayons, too. The best books all have pictures, despite what those elitist libs say, just ask Dr. Seuss.

That’s a good start. Let’s dream up some other book titles:

  1. Orange Like Me;
  2. Escape From Mar-a-Lago;
  3. Trumpnado;
  4. From Here To Trumpernity;
  5. Inherit the Grift;
  6. I have a better one, see my comment.

The literary debut of Donald Trump. It should do for literature what Dubya’s paintings did for art.

 

Now here’s the big question: What is this other project, that is more important than his book of all books, the greatest memoir ever written by any president ever? That’s something to ponder.

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21 COMMENTS

      • The Orange Monster is functionally illiterate, so can’t write either. Someone could be paid to write down his insane ravings, but they probably would only get a few pages before quitting. His Q-Nut cult members can’t read or write either, so even if he could write a book or more likely have someone do it for him, there would be no one to read it!

        • You know that Melania was planning on writing a coffee table book, right? That was to commemorate her time in the White House. Pictures of what great shoes she wore on any given occasion, that sort of thing I guess.

          • To quote that jacket; I really don’t care, do you?
            Besides, the world is always gonna need toilet paper, especially when you’re living in an RV park and you’ve just spent 80 bucks on a new scope so you can hit those damn squirrels.
            You know fighting the fight for the cause and whatnot.

  3. I expect it will be a compilation of all his tweets and riffs from his speeches, etc. I have no idea who would read a book full of that stuff. I question if his biggest supporters even read books.

    • It will be the Book Of Books – aka the Orange Bible, so I’m guessing “The Chosen One” can “get it dune” it in seven days.

  7. Ursula, I am positively ashamed that you would be spreading such lies.

    “Donald Trump is writing a book.”

    As if.

    To be fully accurate, it should read “Donald Trump is interviewing writers to write a book for him.”

    Regardless of any “deals” he’s “turned down” so far, the simple reality is the man doesn’t have the wherewithal to write a book. And I can’t imagine any publisher that would accept a manuscript (as skimpy as Trump himself could provide) written entirely in crayon.

    • I would love to know his definition of “writing like crazy” especially since he killed the toy blog. He shouldn’t have done that. It might not have been a hit, but it was a connection to the internet. Now he has to hope and pray his press releases get picked up by somebody. And they do, but not as quickly as before.

  10. Trump will dictate the book, since he blathers non-stop anyway. The he’ll hire editors to clean up the resulting transcript. Get the money up front eds, or you’ll never see it. If it’s ever published it will be one of those rare tomes that goes straight from release to remainder table. ; )

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