It seems younger generations are quite a bit more openly calling out older ones. There’s nothing new about younger and older generations disagreeing on the state of things. Either between a single kid and a parent at home or on a larger scale in the community, society and the whole damn country. It’s how things have been since before humans even invented fire and will be the way of things until this earth finally rids itself of homo sapiens and see what species can evolve and try to do better. But all this starts in individuals homes and with families. Family gatherings can be wonderful things, but they can also be ‘dramas.’ Some families actually approach reunions, or holiday gatherings where various parts of a family gather in one home ‘by tradition’ because they know it will include a sh*t-show. And the person(s) that will instigate it!
For most of my adult life, since I went into the Marines at age 26 I’ve spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas alone. (I’m quite a good cook and can make a helluva spread) Yes, I was married for six years and holidays were lively and almost always fun times. A few other years I had a ‘special someone” and a couple of years I found myself making the mistake of joining some friend’s family gathering. I freaking HATED being a ‘pity guest.’ So I’ve had countless quite nice Thanksgivings and Christmases on my own. I also have seen how, Thanksgiving in particular can turn into a blowup. Discussions turning angry, even into shouting sometimes.
I long ago realized that even if there are moments where feelings of loneliness pop up a peaceful day with good food and stuff to watch on TV is far preferable to a happy gathering suddenly being ruined by arguments. Including those about freaking politics. I have a feeling this year could be epic in the number and intensity of ‘blowups’ at Thanksgiving gatherings. Feelings are still raw after the election and plenty of comments have been publicly made from leaders on down to regular folks that I suspect later on many will wish they’d kept to themselves. I don’t know about you but I’ve seen too many saying stuff that hurts a lot more than it helps. Still, people are speaking up and as this article from Buzzfeed shows Millennials have no interest (again, think about stuff that always comes up at family gatherings) in hearing Gen X and Boomers complaining about lack of grandkids, or at least seeing the ‘youngsters’ settling into their houses and getting serious about producing said grandkids:
On social media, a lot of millennials were not trying to hear about their parents’ grief, and pointed out the irony of the discussion. They mentioned things like voting for Trump and his policies that make it difficult for young people to have and afford families, and parents calling their grief “unspoken” in the article while it’s being publicly discussed in the New York Times.
There are some blunt, even provocative messages young folks have for old farts. Just to remind you I’M an old fart, now in my latter 60s. I never had kids but sure enjoyed being “Uncle Denis” so many times in decades past when I had a fuller life. I also remember when I was a teen, then young adult and differed or even clashed with older folks on things both small (i.e. pop music) and large stuff like politics and public policy. Age and life experience brought perspectives sometimes that shifted my views. Sometimes towards what my elders believed and worked to instill in me and sometimes even more different as in progressive than when I was younger.
For all that it’s become apparent for some time that young adults don’t have the same opportunities we did. That people of my age took for granted succeeding generations would have. The ‘Greatest Generation’, my parent’s one that endured the Great Depression and led the world to victory in WWII bequeathed the ‘Baby Boomers’ and their grandkids something great. A middle-class the likes of which the world had never seen where opportunity was much more than a dream for most Americans. Ok, so they fell short on huge social issues like racism and sexism too but that started getting tackled in the 60s and 70s. Not enough progress was made but at least there was some.
The thing is, it’s now apparent the Baby Boomers and their kids were often spoiled to an extent. Instead of thirty or forty years of hard work to enjoy a nice retirement they were pissy when they (again, I’m part of ‘they’) got into their thirties. There was a sense things should be getting easier and that we could coast but the “system” demanded continued hard work! Alas, by this point my parent’s generation and what grandparents were left were largely concerned with their own retirements or approaching retirements. I think to an extent too many bailed on riding herd on their offspring and reinforcing the lessons I/we had heard growing up – study, then work hard for at least thirty or maybe forty years and you can live out actual “golden” years.
But being in or approaching retirement they began concentrating on getting as much for themselves as they could. After all they truly HAD given more than any generation. And so we wound up with the ‘something for nothing’ economic policies of Reagan and other things that haven’t worked out well over time. Worse, us Boomers and our kids didn’t want to absorb the lessons and have kept making the same mistakes, and despite some leaders who have tried we’ve continued to turn into an increasingly self-centered hot mess of citizenry!
Now people of my age and kids of people my age are bemoaning their kids not having bought their first homes, making them grandbabies and so on! Publicly. So the young folks are responding. Publicly and it’s a sight to behold. Here are some samples from the linked article:
Ouch. Then there’s this:
Then there’s my favorite:
Yep. We were handed a pretty damned good garden. And taught how to make it better but we failed. I think back to Jimmy Carter and his Energy Speech which flopped because his fellow Democrats, the media and “Official DC” were in a funk and didn’t like this former Gov. of what was then a not significant southern state in the WH. What if the country had listened to him? We would be seeing our global climate past the tipping point where even if we get serious about mitigation is going to cost an appalling amount. But people wanted the “something for nothing” tax cuts Reagan offered, and other stuff. Reagan started raiding the Social Security trust fund to cover the losses and between him and Bush 41 the national debt quadrupled by the time Clinton came along.
Clinton got things under control but his personal failings led to some wheeling and dealing that would become huge. What voters could see, and it WAS being talked about is that we were on a fiscal path to pay down the national debt. But conservatives whined about taxes on the ‘job creators’ and the ‘stifling’ of American business so we let Bush 43 sneak in. We got another round of ‘supply side’ ‘something for nothing’ tax cuts that again exploded the deficit and national debt. AND an unneeded war that continues to cost in both dollars and human suffering and death twenty years later thanks to a destablized middle east. Then there was the financial meltdown that had the world headed into the ‘Great Recession.’ Remember that?
Well, Obama came along and over eight years repaired a lot of THAT damage and gave us a pretty good expansion of health care. Not enough pretty damned big. But people, especially my generation and my generation’s kids were all pissy. So we allowed TRUMP to sneak into the WH via the same Constitutional quirk as Bush 43 did. “Old” Joe Biden, our ‘Uncle Joe’ came in and unf*cked much of what Trump had screwed up. And how did older folks react as this election was shaping up? Complaints about BIDEN! So now we’re stuck with Trump again and it’s going to be worse than before. Which brings me to the last post I want to highlight from the linked article:
For the record I didn’t vote for Reagan either time. Nor as I’m sure anyone who’d read this knows I sure as HELL didn’t vote for Trump in the last three Presidential elections. I know other old farts in my building (it’s an over 55 one) like me. Sadly, I know too many people my age (and ten to twenty years younger) who can’t say the same. The point of all this is that the under 30 crowd is in no mood to just shut up about where we are and where we’re headed. I for one think an awful lot of family Thanksgiving gatherings are going to get ruined next week. Many if not before the meal starts then at the beginning where so many families like to have each person say what they are grateful for.
Life wasn’t such that I became a father. Back in 2016 the biggest thing I was Thankful for when I sat down and loaded up my plate was that I didn’t have children! Also a deep sense of sorrow for those who did. I’m pretty sure that’s going to come up next week and countless families all over this country are going to have unpleasant memories of Thanksgiving 2024. And wonder about having future family holiday gatherings!
One last thought which will add to the shouting next week. Younger voters turned out big in 2020 for Joe Biden. It was clear they weren’t going to do so this time. Kamala Harris seemed to be someone who could generate as much if not more of that vote than Biden had four years ago. Yes, what’s going on in Gaza and our insanely complicated relationship with Israel has younger voters pissy. So they didn’t turn out anywhere near close to what was needed. As I said I’LL be alone next Thursday but if I was at a gathering and an argument broke out, if the under 30 types complain I’d point out THEY sat on their asses.
I’d also ask them just how TRUMP being President would make that situation better? At least Biden was leaning hard on Netanyahu and reining him in. Harris would have been more so. However she wouldn’t publicly break with the President, much less trash him so I for one would point out the cost of their petulance. And that THEY are sitting warm and safe with more food on the table than the average Palestinian has had in a month. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only old fart that will think of that. And say so. Yep, my recommendation is to just beg off any gathering and like me enjoy a quiet Thanksgiving meal at home. Even if scaled down the peace and quiet will be better than what will take place in the average household this year!
RAISE the bloody minimum wage.
Gee, help everybody.
Check out how long it’s been NOT raised. Compare to how often it had been raised before.