Matt Gaetz Just Imploded The Freedom Caucus, And Made Hakeem Jeffries The Most Powerful Man In The House

Hey! Matt Gaetz! You just won the Stupor Bowl! What are you going to do now?!   I’m going to Disney World! I just LOVE It’s a Small World, and I can ride it as much as I want!

before I get to the main thrust, please indulge me to give my brief eulogy to now former House Squeaker Cave-In McCarthy. Sayonara, fool. You’ve been a joke in bad taste for 12 long years now. You rode in on the Tea Party Rebellion of 2010, and then almost immediately ditched them for better career advancements in the moderate wing. When moderates Boehner and Ryan went down at the hands of the Freedom Caucus, your dumb ass tried to switch back again. The Speakers gavel was never yours. You sold your soul to the devil, and now the Devil wants his mallet back. Shut up and put your big boy pants on.

My personal prediction. Somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Kevin McCarthy will publicly announce that he will be retiring at the end of the current term. He has spent the last 12 years striving to be the Speaker of the House, and he got there. But look, nobody in more than 100 years has even tried to oust a sitting Speaker, and that try failed. McCarthy will never be Speaker again, and there’s no joy in being just another schmuck on the floor in the minority. He’s done.

Now, so much for the appetizer, let’s move on to the main course, Fratty Matty Gaetz. Right now, I’m sure that in some hallway somewhere in the Capitol, Fratty Matty Gaetz is running around high-fiving and chest bumping himself, since nobody else in congress wants to be within 500″ of the political version of Typhoid Mary. 

And he had better get used to being the loneliest, most hated man on Capitol Hill. As we speak, I’m pretty sure that GOP Senate Minority Leader is scouring his secret files for a hit man that works cheap. And there are some 200+ moderate GOP House members that are ready to lick into the kitty. Because in a fit of spoiled, rich frat boy pique, Gaetz just opened Pandora’s Box, and there’s no way to close it.

Let’s start with the basics. Matt Gaetz didn’t win a damn thing today. The motion was as to whether or not to Vacate the Chair. Kevin McCarthy had 210 moderate GOP members who voted NO, wanting to keep him in power. Gaetz won because Gaetz got a half a dozen far right imbeciles to vote YES in order to get a seat at the cool kids table with Gaetz. Which is about to become the loneliest table in DC.

Because Gaetz is the #1 imbecile, and he has no clue. Gaetz’s Fuhrer, Hair Twitler, wants to blow up the government, which means chaos and destruction. And Gaetz has proudly privately renamed the Freedom Caucus the Chaos Caucus. But the last time I checked, the ultimate goal of chaos was for a strong man to take control. And there’s nobody in DC right now weaker than Gaetz.

If Gaetz had had some 210 GOP votes to remove McCarthy, then he could rightly take the mantle of the strong man to bring order to chaos. But he didn’t. He had 210 Democratic votes to go along with his piddly ass eight votes from his moronic caucus. And if Gaetz thinks he can count on Democratic votes going forward, he’s as delusional as he is stupid.

Gaetz has already said that he will hold a vote for a replacement Speaker sometime next week. In the meantime, he will appoint the first of what will probably be a revolving door of Speaker Pro Tem’s to run the floor, since nobody wants the damn job. And with only eight votes on his side, he isn’t going to be able to cobble together the votes to get a friendly Speaker elected.

And meanwhile the 43 day countdown clock to the next potential government shutdown is ticking. And Gaetz is the self proclaimed King of Chaos. And while he uselessly fiddles, the GOP House burns. But he won’t be fiddling long, simply because he has a 210 strong GOP House caucus dead set against him.

Right now, the only question I have is just how long that 210 member GOP majority lets Gaetz roll around in the mud before they drag him in by his ear, and throw him in the tub. Because time is of the essence.

Because in that 210 block of moderate GOP members, there are some 60-80 members who are in districts that the Cook Political Report is going to have rated, competitive, highly competitive, or swing. And the longer this Gaetz inspired bullsh*t goes on, and the closer their constituents come to another government shutdown, with a disruption of their services, the worse it gets.

The government isn’t going to shut down. The only question in my mind is how long before quiet feelers go out from that 210 strong bloc of GOP incumbents go to the Democrats, looking either for a place keeper GOP member, acceptable to both sides, and a power sharing agreement is reached. The simple fact of the matter is that the GOP majority can’t afford an imbecile like Gaetz at the controls if they want even a prayer of retaining control of the House next November.

Here’s my best guess, and it’s just a guess. These 210 members, or any sizeable portion of them are not going to want to be seen as in cahoots with the demon Democrats. I’m guessing they’ll let Gaetz sit there in the media for the next couple of weeks, licking his nuts while the country goes into a panic. Then they’ll begin negotiating a clean continuing resolution, with the current spending levels, and with Ukraine aid and disaster relief until sometime after the 2024 election, maybe something like February of 2025. This will make Gaetz a toothless tiger, since the debt ceiling is already extended past the next election.

This is a total freak show. But already there is a clear and positive biggest loser. And it’s Fratty Matty Gaetz and the Freedom Caucus. I have never been able to figure out how a ragtag rabble of 30-40 loudmouths have managed to hold 200 GOP members hostage, but they did. But now those chains are about to be broken, and the Freedom caucus is about to become interesting to nobody but themselves. Adios, motherf*ckers!