Matt Gaetz Gets His Lump Of Christmas Coal. And So Does MAGA Mike Johnson

There’s nothing funnier than a President who’s already a lame duck before he even takes the oath of office. There’s nothing more liberating than realizing your tormentor is really an attack dog with his dentures out. And the GOP House is not about to let the GOP Senate have all the fun, or steal all the thunder.

About an hour and a half ago, MSNBC broke the news that the House Ethics Committee had voted to release the final results of their years long investigation into former House party animal Bratty Matty Gaetz. So, when will we see it? Any time starting on Friday. The House has one more vote to take to keep the government running, and then they split for the holiday recess. The report will be released once they’ve all scattered away from cameras and microphones.

Gaetz, expecting the worst, is already slamming the report he hasn’t even seen. He’s calling it a sinful political hit job, and covering his fratty ass with While I may have been a little looser when I was younger, and talked too much, I’m not that person anymore. Notice how Gaetz tries to sound like a middle age man describing his days as a teenage delinquent? Folks, this sh*t ain’t even 10 years old! And Gaetz’s mouth was at its loudest in the last two years!

There’s actually more to this story than that. In the original hearing, the committee voted to approve the final report, but deadlocked over whether or not to release it to the public. The split wasn’t ideological, it was political. Gaetz was nominated for AG, and GOP members were loath to ire or embarrass Traitor Tot by publicly posting his picks randy behavior. They did however leave the door open to releasing it at a later date.

The Democrats, smelling blood in the water, immediately took to the floor of the House to demand the release of the report, pulling several parliamentary parlor tricks, all of which were rebuffed by Squeaker MAGA Mike Johnson. Then Johnson sh*t in his mess kit by publicly stating that the Ethics committee would not be allowed to release the report publicly.

Which immediately had the expected result. The House Ethics committee is the most independent and bipartisan committee in congress. They take their jobs very seriously, considering their own professional ethics and respect at risk by the unethical actions of others. Gaetz is out of the picture for AG, so Trump’s feelings and ego are no longer in peril, and it’s time to flash Johnson double barrel birds to show him they won’t be bossed around by an empty suit like him. And there’s the bonus that this would be a toxic landfill for Gaetz to cross barefoot if he decided to run for Florida Governor in 2026. As Oprah likes to say, You get a copy! And you get a copy, and you too! Everybody gets a copy!

But when you look at it more deeply, this is actually a warning shot not only across Johnson’s bow, but Traitor Tot’s as well by the House GOP moderates. And it tells me that the House agenda, at least through the midterms, is going to consist mainly of renaming post offices, if even that.

The GOP Senate has already signaled its own reality check by taking His Lowness’ more obnoxious cabinet picks for a stroll across the coals. And now it appears that House moderates are already signaling a desire for a return to normalcy and function while they ride out the impending Mar-A-Lago Fats slow moving train wreck. Here’s why.

Bratty Matty Gaetz was the public facing heart and soul of the Freedom caucus, and he’s gone now. But the moderates can count. And simple math says that not only doesn’t Johnson have the majority needed to obliterate the Freedom caucus by votes, but also that Johnson can’t coffle the MAGA crowd, because there are enough moderates to scuttle any votes they don’t like relying on MAGA support. Democrats are going to be required to pass any meaningful legislation, and that basically means that the moderate GOP House members and Hakeem Jeffries now shadow control the House agenda for the next two years.

In short, forget about a national abortion ban. And forget about gutting Social Security and Medicare, more stringent anti-LGBTQ laws, and radical changes to the Constitution or the basic structure of the federal government where budgetary approval is required. The MAGAt’s will rebel against anything that even hints at common sense legislation, and the moderates will torpedo anything radical that Johnson and the MAGA maniacs try to pull. The Democrats control the hole card, and as Michael Douglas said in Romancing the Stone, I’m not cheap, but I can be had. 

One more thing, and this is just a gut feeling I have. Look, all judges have their own internal biases and agendas, but the secret to successful judging is to rule in such a way that those are not called into question as a part of the ruling. In other words, baffle them with bullsh*t logic. But the Trump triumvirate of Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Barrett could care less about appearances. Every time they drop a ruling, they let their ideological freak flags fly. This makes the GOP Senate look like morons for blocking common sense court ethics reforms.

The expectation is that Thomas and Alito will ooze off into the sunset for new ideological blood. I agree. But there’s a spanner in the works this time. El Pendejo Presidente has gotten his picks from none other than The Heritage Foundation. And their name is sh*t in GOP circles after their inane Project 2025. Trump has to get his picks from somewhere, and wherever it is, it probably won’t look good for justice.

My guess is that the GOP writ large, especiallyt the Senate knows that it’s not a good look for them to appear to be presiding over a kangaroo coiurt. That’s an open invitation for a true constitutional crisis when a state decides to simply ignore a SCOTUS ruling they don’t like. California and New York are already working their way around the Supreme Court rulings with state regulations on emissions that only apply to the states themselves. But considering the fact that almost 50% of the new cars in this country are purchased in New York and California, auto companies have no choice but to meet those standards, or be shut out of those markets. I believe that California has a law either in effect or in the works that says that starting somewhere around 2030, all new vehicles sold in the state must be electric vehicles.

The Peach Penguin will replace Thomas and Alito, but I’m betting that a Senate GOP birdie or two will be chirping in his ear to cut the ideological bullsh*t. Screw the Evangelicals, they can’t hurt him anymore. Pick judicial nominees that aren’t judicial embarrassments, or we’ll scuttle them most riki-tik. Remember, these Senators will mostly be around long after Trump Redux joins Trump the 1st on  the ash heap of history. Or maybe the Scruffy Guru will just sign an executive order mandating history books to proclaim him as the greatest President of all time. I wouldn’t put it past him.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.

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