In The Veepstakes, Don’t Get Distracted By “Electoral Votes”

Man! Doesn’t tempus Fugit? By this time next week, not only will we know who Kamala Harris’s running mate is, they’ll be wrapping up their first battleground state tour together. But until either Sunday or Monday, Veepstakes is the newest drinking game for political junkies.

And there are, as you would expect from the cream of the crop who made it to the finals, plenty of good reasons for choosing any one of them. But for some vague reason, the media keeps wandering off into the woods every presidential cycle, trying to handicap the field based on their electoral value to the ticket. Like the Vice Presidential candidates only value is the electoral college haul he’ll bring with him.

And nothing could be historically further from the truth. In fact, Vice presidential candidates are very seldom chosen with an eye of flipping or assuring the electoral votes of a particular state. For instance;

• George HW Bush didn’t choose Dan Quayle in order to win Indiana, that was in the bag. In fact nobody actually knows why the f*ck Bush chose Quayle. Maybe because Quayle actually had a personality
• Bill Clinton didn’t choose Al Gore to win Tennessee, that wasn’t going to happen. A small state Governor, Clinton chose Gore to work the Senate for him, and to school him up on legislative and parliamentary processes
• The GOP basically chose Dick Cheney, who wasn’t even in public office at the time for Vice President, basically as a governmental sherpa for Alfred E Neuman. And we all saw how that worked out
• Barack Obama eventually decided to settle on Senator Joe Biden, mostly for Biden to shore up and give Obama some foreign policy chops, a subject in which Obama was woefully deficient
• Donald Trump chose Mike Pence, not to win Indiana, which was in the bag, but in order to shore up Trump’s shaky Evangelical chops, which helped put him into the Oval Office
• Biden didn’t choose Kamala Harris to win California, that was a no-brainer. He chose her as a diversity candidate, making her the first African American woman on the ticket, and shoring up his black vote creds
• In 2024, Donald Trump chose Hillbilly imbecile JD Vance as his running mate because he’s a f*cking idiot

When it comes to picking a running mate, it comes down to three critical factors, comfort, familiarity, and confidence. The candidate has to be first comfortable personally and professionally with her pick, second, they have to be familiar enough with their running mate to know how they’ll think and respond. And third, the candidate has to be confident that the running mate will toe the line and have their back, thick or thin.

Right now the media, with nothing better to do than whack Beggar Vance over the head with a caveman’s club, are trying to poke holes in the qualifications of the various picks. For instance, Josh Shapiro is a favorite for his supposed ability to deliver Pennsylvania’s critical electoral votes. But they question Shapiro, who is Jewish, views on Israel, which would conflict with Harris’s positions. And while Mark Kelly of Arizona has an aspirational history, he publicly broke with the Biden-Harris administration over their immigration policy.

Do yourself a favor. Don’t listen to that bullsh*t. For one simple reason. Vice presidential candidates don’t get to have policies, platforms or opinions. That’s the presidential candidate’s job. Their job is to be good little soldiers, and follow the marching orders. And they all know it. A very bitter lesson that Traitor Tot is now learning, much to his demise.

All that being said, here’s my personal pick for Vice President Kamala Harris’s running mate, and granted it’s a dark horse. But he’s still in the running, and I’ll give you my reasons.

Now granted, Harris could pick the cleaning lady of any one of the six remaining candidates, and she’d still be galaxies superior to the hillbilly mental midget. But Harris is interested in governance, so she’s going for professionalism and qualifications.

And my dark horse pick is Transportation secretary Pete Buttigieg. And here are some of the reasons I think he’s a natural for the positionl

• Harris is already professionally, and probably personally acquainted with Buttigieg, having run against him in 2020, and having him present in cabinet meetings
• Buttigieg, an openly gay man, won election as Mayor of South Bend, Indiana, a solidly conservative state. So apparently he has the natural ability to cross divides and put people at their ease
• As Mayor, Buttigieg dealt daily with city agencies like the fire department, the police department, the health department, the public works department, Streets and Sanitation, the local welfare agency. All of these tend to translate to similar agencies in the United States government
• Whatever room he walks into, Buttigieg is automatically the smartest one in it, even the ballroom with a Mensa convention going on. But not in a snotty, in-your-face way. His manner is quiet and self deprecating. This guy has more brains for breakfast than I have all year, but he can explain complex issues in a way you can understand, without making you feel like a moron
• As Secretary of Transportation, it fell to Buttigieg to disburse the funds from Biden’s massive infrastructure project. Snart enough to know what he didn’t know, and knowing that his time was valuable, Buttigieg promptly turned around and hired former New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu to take that job on
• being a cabinet secretary, Buttigieg regularly has to deal with the White House, which includes Kamala Harris, occasionally the DOJ for legal issues, as well as the House and Senate for his semi-annual committee hearings

All of that being said, it all comes down to one simple question in the end. If God forbid something should happen to the President, who do you feel confident taking over from Day One? And while traitor Tot likes to boast that Nobody votes for Vice President, they only vote the top of the ticket, ask yourself this. With a 78 year old racist, sexist dotard, facing sentencing on 34 felony convictions, who would you rather have waiting in the wings? A lying, scheming, duplicitous hillbilly imbecile, or a man with more than a decade of widespread, comprehensive public service? Because you can bet your ass that the voters are going to be thinking about that in November. The prosecution rests.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.

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